I feel like I've run into a brick wall! My son will be 4 yo in Aug. He has quickly aced potty training in regard to urine and has been "peeing in the potty" for about seven months. The BM is still not going in the potty. We've made progress - he no longer hides in the corner to poop in his pants. However, it's like he waits past the last minute and can't possibly make it to the potty. We did a potty chart that was very successful and after several successful "bm in the potty weeks" he earned a big boy bunk bed. He has regressed lately. He goes to a wonderful, supportive day school. I'm paranoid about putting too much emphasis on it but I'm also worried he may start getting teased. Any advice/words of wisdom/ideas/comfort out there?

By Debbie on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 09:08 am:

I am also having trouble with my ds who will be 4 next month. He started peeing in the potty a few months ago. However, he does not want to use the potty for bm's. My ped. suggested this approach and so far it is working. You want to take baby steps. Right now I am rewarding my ds with small treats for going into the bathroom to have a bm. He does not have to go in the potty just into the bathroom. We started this last week. Over the last few days he has been going into the bathroom every time. Once they have mastered this for awhile, then you have them sit on the potty for a reward. They can leave their pull-up/diaper on, put they must sit on the potty. Then after they have mastered this for awhile, then you have them go in the potty for a reward. I have a "treasure box" for rewards. I picked up several things from the party store/dollar store. My ds seems to be responding to this. We are going on vacation next week, so I am not moving to the next step until we get back. I am hoping in the next month or so he will be fully trained. I am lucky that he will pee in the potty even with a pull-up on. I put him in underwear, but he started to hold his bm's and I did not want this to become a habit. When I get to the step that he has to go in the potty for a reward, I am going to put him back in underwear.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 10:09 am:

My SIL tried to potty train her daughter before she was ready, she would go pee, but refused to poop. SIL got so frustrated & her daughter saw it. The little girl refused to poop, period. She didn't want to disappoint Mom, but was afraid to go poop in the toilet. She got so sick & they had to retrain her how to poop. She was on stool softeners, it was horrible.

By Tink on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 10:31 am:

Are you still doing the potty chart? If you aren't and it worked in the past, I would jump right back onto that. The "babysteps" method above sounds pretty good too and very low pressure. I do think that bunkbeds are a large reward for potty training and difficult to negotiate with since you can't really take them away when he regresses. I don't think he should be allowed access to his reward if he isn't doing what was agreed upon when it was given to him. I don't think it should be a huge guilt-ridden issue but if it is a toy, it can be brought out for the days that there aren't any accidents. Kinda hard to do with a bed. My godson is going to be 5 this month and he still hasn't become bm trained. I think his parents are keeping him back from Kindergarten because of this. Just wanted to let you know that he isn't alone in this.

By Mommierenee on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 11:54 am:

I had the exact same problem with my son and I tried EVERYTHING you all are talking about to no avail!!! I asked the pediatrician & she told me that her son didn't poop in the potty until 1 month after he was 4! She said just relax & don't worry about it. Thta at his age he knows exactly what we want him to do & when he's ready he will!
Soooo, I kept the toy up on the hutch that he had picked out & I told him, "-----, I am not going to ask you if you need to go poo poo anymore. When you are ready to go poopoo in the potty, you can do it". He finally did. On his own, when my husband and I weren't even home, he was with a baybsitter. We've never had a problem since then!
I am telling you we went through it before that though. Just like you all are talking about. He's pee all day in the potty & hide in corners. go poo poo on his toys, in the closet, just about anywhere except the potty!

I know you don't want to hear this, but just relax & it will happen. Maybe they feel stressed about it. You probably don't realize that you're putting stress on them, I sure didn't!

By Nicosmom on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 12:18 pm:

Today already seems like it's not going to be a good potty day here. Ds was acting sad and said "I don't want to go potty." That is frustrating and I feel like I'm forcing him. So far he's had two bm's on the toilet, it was very exciting. That was last week. I know what you are going through. Sometimes I am embarassed to still have to change a 3 year- old's poopy diaper.

By Mommierenee on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 12:42 pm:

At one time I had 3 in diapers, now i only have one!!! YAY!
The fact that he's gone poo poo 2 times is a good sign!
Something else you might want to try, I don't know if it's acceptable in your house, but if his dad is home when he goes, you can say "look, daddy goes poopy in the potty" or "mommy goes..." whatever. We told him that EVERYONE goes poopy in the potty. Barney,, Caillou, BJ, babybop, Big Bird. We told him that everyone has to learn to go poopy in the potty!

By My2girlygirls on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 - 05:01 pm:

I am STILL dealing with this and my dd will be 6 in July! She is on meds for the issue. She held it for so long then she would poop and it would be big and then that started a cycle where she would hold it because she was afraid it would hurt then it would hurt because it was so big. She has been on meds for about 4 months. She is so da** stubborn, she had "skids" every day and I have to make her sit on the potty and she fights me every step of they way. I am at my wits end! I have tried being calm and supportive now I am just plain mad... I am so paranoid that she is going to poop in the pool at swim team that I am finding excuses for us not to go. I wish I would have never signed her up because I am on the edge of my seat the whole time. My friends say to just relax and stop stressing out about it but they don't have to worry about a kid pooping in the pool!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!