Hi everyone!
Ella is now two weeks old today. We are all doing pretty well. She had her first ped appt yesterday and gained over a lb since she has been home and 2 inches since birth! Breast feeding has gotten better, Im still sore on one side but have managed to figure out how to feed laying down which has ment more sleep. I am getting emotionally stronger each day, although last weekend was an utter emotional disater for me....I think I spent every other hour crying and feeling overwhelmed. I still really wish my husband was home...I miss him so much durring the day. My mom has been a tremendous help, but she is really young and works a lot still so she cant be here for a solid week or anything. Every day feels a little scary for me when I am all on my own, but its getting a little better. We had a cranky night from 3-4:30 or so? she tends to get worked up and I cant bring her back down ....so we paced and rocked, and burped, and paced and rocked (mind you she had a very full feeding already). I finally bundled her up on my chest on the couch and held her tight until she stopped fidgeting and fell asleep. She doesn not like to sleep anywhere but either on top of one of us or directly touching us. During the day she is better about napping on her own.

She is so little still and growing so fast. I just have to imagine that this will get better and easier and I get more confident and she startles less. I really want her to sleep in her bassinet or crib for part of the night....one day, we hope!

Any suggestions? Tell me I'm a normal sleepy new mama!!!

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:09 am:

You sound just like me when I first brought Timmy home almost two years ago. My mom worked and wasn't able to be there with me. Timmy and I cried together on more than one occassion. Hang in there, you are both still so new at this.

Just remember to take care of yourself. Sleep when she sleeps even if it is in the middle of the day. Take a shower. I've said it before and I'll say it til everyone here can't stand it any more. Put Ella in the crib once a day and take a shower. If she cried while you are in the shower she will be okay for 10 minutes.

I promise, you will survive and it does get better.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:09 am:

Yes, you are a normal sleepy new mommy!

Since she is so young she probably sleeps most of the time. Make sure you sleep when she sleeps. DO NOT worry about cleaning or laundry or anything right now, you need the rest. Even if you can't fall asleep, just take a break and lay down during the day.

Do you swaddle her in a blanket? IT sounds like she likes to be close to you and bundled up, so try swaddling her at night time. That is a lot like how she was in the womb, she will probably like it.
Remember you can not spoil a baby, they need to be near you and held.

Enjoy her! I feel like i just had mine yesterday! But my dd turned 5 last week and my "baby boy" is 3 1/2 already!

It will get better and easier as you establish a routine with her feeding and napping schedule. You will get more confident, before you know it you will be holding her and making a bottle while talking on the phone at the same time! LOL!

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:10 am:

Completely Normal! I felt like pulling my hair out when DD was first born. DH was in Iraq and my Mom was there but I hated asking for her help. I slept 1.2 to 2 hours TOPS before she would wake up. She was up probably 4-5 times a night. On top of that I had an horrible episiotomy repair so anything but laying down was painful and I was leaking milk like there was no tomorrow so I usually woke up drenched in breastmilk. (((HUGS))) to you, just give your little one time and enjoy sleeping with her. I weaned DD to the bassinet right next to my bed when she was 1 month old and to the crib at about 3 months. Good Luck!

By Rayanne on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:31 am:

((((HUGS))))
All is normal. My DD, who is now 6 months old, would not sleep all that well either in her basinet, which was right by our bed. She would either sleep on me or Chris (DH). I know that a lot of people don't agree with it, but it's the only thing that worked for me, and that was putting her on her tummy when she went to sleep. When we started doing this, she was about 1 1/2 to 2 months old and she started to sleep better and at night would do 5 to 6 hours. When she is sleeping, get some rest. Like Patti said, if you can't sleep, then put your feet up and relax.
Gd luck and it does get easier.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:50 am:

I don't think I can really add anything. It is so important that you take care of you. When your dh gets home have take her for a hour & lay down. Just to let you know, don't drink a lot of milk, it can pass through the breastmilk.

By Amecmom on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 11:59 am:

Ditto to all. Rest as much as possible and enjoy the baby! If this feeling of being overwhelmed, very sad or depressed continues for too long, or gets to the point where it's beginning to feel out of control, please, please talk to you OB. I let mine go and it wasn't the normal baby blues, but a really serious case of Post-Partum depression. I got through it, but it took a long time. If I'd had help and medication, my baby's first 5 months would have been happier for all of us!

Ame

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 02:24 pm:

Emily, what's wrong with drinking a lot of milk? What's wrong with it passing throught the breastmilk? I have just never heard of that *warning* before, i didn't know there was anything wrong with milk in the breastmilk.

By Natesmom on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 02:55 pm:

I can remember the first time I brought Nathaniel home me or my DH did not get one hour of sleep that night. Finally the only way I could get my son to sleep for a few hours is to have him sleep in his bouncy seat. That seat was a blessing. My Dh and I would make a bed on the floor every night and my son would sleep in his bouncy seat next to us. Also during the day for naping I would sleep in bed with him. Have him in the middle and put a pillow on the other side of him so he can't go anywhere and kind of cradle him. Those are just a few of my coping mechanisms. Hope they can help. Another thing is to make sure you do rest plenty. I had gotten postpartum depression because of lack of sleep and all the new things to deal with. If you need anymore advice just ask.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 03:28 pm:

Both of my kids have reflux & their Doctor told me not to drink milk or eat a lot of milk products. My SIL was told it would be like giving a newborn a bottle of milk. I was also told to stay away from peanuts.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 03:42 pm:

http://www.lactivist.com/nutritio.html
I know that there are a million different opinions on what to put in your body while breastfeeding. I was told not to drink milk because my dd has a sensitivity.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 03:55 pm:

{{{Sarah}}} All normal new baby and new mama stuff. Yes, things WILL get better!! To echo the others, SLEEP whenever you can and don't worry about the housework for now. Ella will fall into a routine and things will go better as she gets older. Both my kids slept with me and nursed in bed as newborns. It was the only way Mama could get any sleep!

Emily, my DD had GERD (reflux) and was also sensitive to dairy. I had to cut all dairy out of my diet because it did bother DD via breast feeding, however, that's not the case for all babies. I drank milk and ate dairy while breast feeding DS and had no problems.

All pregnant and nursing moms are advised to avoid peanuts and tree nuts. I used to have a link but can't find it right now.

By Saritabeth on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 04:03 pm:

Thanks all! I had a sweet sweet friend come and be with me all day yesterday and today. We went out this afternoon which made me feel human again. I am trying to get out a little bit each day as It makes me feel not so alone. I am actually feeling pretty good all things considered...but that is ever subject to change, moment to moment! Dairy used to bother me, then it didn't and it is again, so I am avoiding it mainly cause my body is telling me to.

She is such a great baby, I feel a little guilty for feeling so overwhelmed, but this is still an enormous adjustment for anyone!! Ella was really over stimulated from her first md appointment, which I think carried over to the restless night. She has been sleeping a lot today, so hopefully she is catching up a bit and will have a better night tonight. thanks for all the encouragement. It is so hard to know what to do, one book says never sleep with baby, another says always sleep with her....one says letting her cry teaches distrust, while another says let her cry a bit.....I am still getting my 'mommy mojo' on to know what works best for her and me. its nice to have so many points of view here....thanks
Sarah

By Amecmom on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 04:06 pm:

Trust your instincts and forget the books! If the books worked, then all babies would be sweet as pie all the time. Each baby is different. Enjoy your unique little person.
Ame

By Emdee on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 04:34 pm:

My dd wouldn't sleep in a bed or bassinet on her own at first (the first 3 months or so). We found out later it was because of acid reflux, but for the time being the only way she would sleep at night was on my chest in a recliner. So every night I would nurse her and just let her sleep on my chest. That way I got to sleep at night (apart from getting up to nurse her), we got alot of cuddle time, and she was comforted. I worried alot about spoiling her, but around 3 months she moved just fine to her crib. I actually missed my "night" times with her when she went to the crib, although it felt great to sleep in a complete horizontal position! Good luck--in a few months you will miss all this time with her.

By Amyk on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

Hey sleepy mom -

I have 2 books to recommend to you... first off, get a copy of "Let the Baby Drive" - it is new - but you can get a used copy off Amazon for a few bucks - It is wonderful and it is not a how-to book - but a true story of a new mom adjusting to all the tough stuff that a new baby brings. Also, if your sleep issues continue past the "norm"... check out "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" - also good reading.

I have a 9mo and I remember those first few weeks being really hard - it does get better!!!!

amy

By Dmom on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 - 05:39 pm:

Both my babies were premies who ate every 2 hours.

Psalm 127 and 128 are the "parenthood" Psalms.

"The Lord grants sleep to those He loves" Psalm 127:2b

Congratulations on being a new Mommy!

Good Night and God Bless.

By Amyj on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 01:27 am:

Don't feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed. I remember after my son was born, a friend with three older children came by. As she was leaving she said, "Isn't being a mother the most wonderful thing in the world!" After she left, I sat down on the floor and cried. I felt overwhelmed and sad at the moment. I remember thinking how terrible of me to feel that way. After all I had been trying for some time to have a baby and now I had a healthy, beautiful baby. I later realized that what I felt was really normal and went away as I got more sleep and my hormones leveled out. Now I have those same moments, but that's because my kids are 4 and 6 with sassy mouths! I have been known to feel overwhelmed and cry lately! You will start to get into your own routine soon and before you know it you will be giving other mommys words of advice. Being a mother is the most wonderful thing in the world!

By Kittycat_26 on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 08:18 am:

The bouncey seat reminded me of something. Try putting her in her car seat. We did this with Timmy for almost a month. He wouldn't sleep much at all unless he was in it.

My mom wasn't a big fan of it but then as I often remind her, Timmy is still alive at 2 years old so I must have done something right.

By Tink on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 12:24 pm:

I don't think there is anything wrong with the carseat or bouncy seat to sleep in. My Ped. suggested it for my son after eating so that he wouldn't spit up as much. I liked it because, often, the bouncing or rocking wuld be enough to get him back to sleep, if he hadn't awakened too much before I did. It sounds like you and Ella sound like most other new mommies and babies that are still adjusting to life together. I'm glad you had a friend that helped you out some and it is great that you are getting out of the house some. I also agree with Ame about the Post-partum Depression. It can really sneak up on you. Just keep an eye out for it. Good luck, it sounds like you are doing great!

By Saritabeth on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 07:08 pm:

Thanks you ladies!!!!! All such helpful advice and encouragement. I am feeling better each day but I still have my moments of feeling overwhelmed. Thanks Amyj, I really felt that way too......some really mean but well intended lady at starbucks (our first outing) said to me, "This is the time that you think is the hardest but is really the easiest". I thought I might throw up or cry right that second. Not really a nice thing to say to a stranger new mommy.

Thanks all....
sarah

By Rayanne on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 07:57 pm:

You should have thrown your coffee at her
JK

By Amecmom on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 08:04 pm:

Some people just don't think. I bet she doesn't even have any kids ...
Ame

By Vbw1978 on Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 09:50 pm:

all the parts are hard about being a mommy ! what is the starbucks lady talking about ????
being a mommy is the greatest thing though
This is my 3rd & i felt the same way as you dear ! it is sooo normal !
I will repeat everyone else GET PLENTY OF SLEEP!!!!
i did not & dehydrated myself & was in the hospital for 2 days without my new baby ! take care of yourself
But really it will all come to you !

By Dawnk777 on Friday, June 4, 2004 - 12:36 am:

"This is the time that you think is the hardest but is really the easiest".

What? Huh? My first baby cried and cried and cried, was up often to nurse and didn't let me get much sleep. I never throught it was the easiest time of her life and certainly don't now, either and she's 14 (almost 15). She cried for 3 hours every night for about 3 months. There was pretty much nothing we could do about it, either. I would have felt like throwing my coffee at her, too.

Also, she was born 4 weeks early and was 6 pounds 6 ounces at birth, then dropped down to 5 lbs, 9 oz when we went home. We were in the clinic for a bilirubin check shortly after we had both gone home from the hospital. She was tiny when she was a newborn. Some nasty women in the waiting room were talking about her and making comments on how she was malnourished. If I hadn't been so tired from just having surgery the week before, I might have said something. I was soo mad. They didn't know her circumstances at all. Besides, she turned into quite the butterball in the next few weeks on mama's milk! LOL!

On the bright side, she slept through the night at 8 weeks old and was a very good sleeper after that. (still cried 3 hours before she slept all night in that 3rd month, though!) The next month she was sleeping 12 hours, though and no more hours of crying ever after that! Then she became an easy baby.

Those first 8 weeks were hell, though! Yikes! Sure wouldn't want to live those 8 weeks over again, even if newborns are so cuddly!

By Emily7 on Friday, June 4, 2004 - 10:29 am:

Some people need to think before they open their mouth. Nothing about parenting is easy, rewarding yes, but certainly challenging. She sounds like my SIL who is in denial about her labor & parenting skills with her daughter. They forget & make everyone else feel like they don't know what they are doing. It takes time to get into a pattern of things. Remember all the times you got up in the middle of the night while pregnant? Well she is on that schedual. Its hard to do, but relax you are doing fine. Every mother in the world, reguardless of if they admit it or not, has been through what you are going through.

By Saritabeth on Friday, June 4, 2004 - 11:03 am:

Thanks again everyone!

A gift from above last night....Ms Ella nursed fully at about 10 and 1 and then she SLEPT UNTIL 6 AM!!!! I dont ever expect that to happen again anytime soon, but wow....its truly amazing, I actually feel human today. It was such a treat to get some night time sleep. My husband was so freaked out he was sure there was something wrong at 4 am and was checking her vitals.

I feel like I am slowing getting the hang of this. Thanks for the kind words.
Sarah

By Tink on Friday, June 4, 2004 - 09:42 pm:

Sarah, The first time my dks sleep through the night I always wondered if something is wrong! LOL 5 hours straight! Can you believe you are so excited? But that is the best feeling sleep you think you've ever had, right? Glad you are adjusting, keep taking care of yourself, it sounds like you are doing great for a new mom!

P.S. That woman was out of her mind!

By Eight_Kids on Saturday, June 5, 2004 - 02:23 am:

I didn't read any of the other replies....while reading your post I remembered the first weeks, months and years!! after I had my NOW 6yo. I used to have to keep in her one of those front pouch things you wear so the baby hangs in front of you (kangaroo style )...not for vacation, or trips or anything....just to get ready for work!!!!! She was 4 wks old when I went back to work. I know it probably seems like hell now but I would give anything for one night where I could hold her against my chest and sleep that way!!!
Good luck! I know how very hard it is at this age!!
Beth

By Momaroze on Saturday, June 5, 2004 - 03:46 pm:

My ds is under a year. I found the first 3 months was difficult and quite an adjustment. Not my first either. This is baby #3. Some years apart though. It will get easier. It's an emotional time and your hormones are still all over the place. I'm still adjusting but everything has gotten easier. More sleep too! Hang in there.