Question for preemie moms
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004:
Question for preemie moms
A friend of mine just gave birth to a baby girl on May 2. She came 3 months early and weighed only 1lb 3oz at birth. Since, she's had good days and bad, but has gained 7oz and is holding on.
Anyway. I would like to buy something for her and her parents. They can't find any clothes anywhere that will fit her so I checked online and found several places that sell such small clothes.
I guess what I would like to know is if there are any moms out there who have had preemies this small, what is the best stuff to buy?
Like if I buy the micro stuff that fits up to 3lbs, is she going to use it since she'll most likely be in the NICU the whole time?
And which types of clothing are best? Or is there something else that helped anyone out that I could either get for them or suggest?
Thanks!
It depends, how much are they able to hold her? We were able to dress our ds in the NICU & so were a lot of other parents. It just depends on how stable she is.
They aren't able to hold her yet. She was just able to change her diaper while the nurses held the baby up for her the other day.
i would suggest buying some preemie clothes that are a little bigger than she is now, my dd was premature and we could not hold her for several weeks, she weighed about 5 lbs before we could dress her, so maybe try that. Onesies are the easiest thing or maybe a dress that would be easy to get to the diaper without too much handling, diapers would be good too if you can find preemie ones! Just make sure a dress is not real frilly so it isn;t real bulky!
my cousin was that small when she was born, they bought baby doll cloths for her, tell them to try that, it's a lot cheaper even than normal cloths, they will still be to big, but not as bad as the regular premie cloths.
At that early and that tiny she may have sensory issues with touch. This won't let the parents hold her alot yet nor will it let anything much touch her without discomfort. I'd look for preemie clothes closer to 5lbs. This will give her a chance to get a little bit bigger before trying to dress her.
Honestly everything is going to just swamp her.
Once she gets to about 5lbs though Sears has wonderful preemie clothes. They tend to be cut a little bit smaller than others and fit Timmy great.
Maybe clothes aren't just the thing right now. How about some picture books that mom or dad can read to her when they see her in the NICU? You can always get her clothes later on. This way she'll hear their voices and get to bond with them.
Ame
How about something totally different, like a scrapbook or journal? I'm sure they're going through a lot of emotional stuff right now, and writing might help.
I've thought about this alot since I read it this morning. And it might sound corny but that nicest thing anyone did for me when Timmy was in the NICU was this.
Come to see the baby. Most NICUs will allow visitors if they are family so I fudged just a little since alot of my family couldn't come to see us. I had a dear friend who came down and she was my sister that day. She scrubbed and gowned up and oooohed and aaaaahed over Timmy as if he was the prettiest thing alive even though it had to be shocking with his tubes and monitors.
It just meant the world to me.
I agree. My nephew was in the NICU for 4 weeks. They couldnt even hold him for awhile nor could they dress him.
Here are my suggestions:
Mom/Dad a basket full of snacks (they could even share them with those wonderful nurses!)
Mom a basket full of pampering items for herself.
I know she is stressed and tired! My sister sure was.
Picture frame
Flowers or a plant
I'd personally wait on getting anything for the baby such as clothes just yet.
Gift certificate for house cleaning service for a month or two. My sister's house was a wreck because they were never home (always back and forth between the NICU). When they were home they had time to take care of animals, shower and crash for a bit. One of her friends went up and cleaned her house for her a couple of times and surprised my sister.
Maybe a book on preemies??
People got Joseph small stuffed animals & the book is a really great idea. I read to joseph so much because sometimes I wouldn't know what to say.
Do they live in the same town as the NICU? I had to stay in a motel for 1 1/2 months. Maybe you could buy them a motel night!
Thanks for all the suggestions. The reason I wanted to get clothes was because she seemed to be rather upset that she couldn't find anything that would fit her for a while. I just thought that even if she couldn't really dress her, it might cheer her up to see that there are things made for that. I thought maybe seeing clothes commercially made that small would somehow normalize it a little for her. Even if she couldn't use them, to show her that it's common enough to have whole lines of clothing specifically for it. I hope that makes sense.
Kittycat - I'm going to visit her tomorrow, and I'm sure she will appreciate it because I don't think any of her other friends have gone yet, or even if they will. I would have gone already but it's hard for me to find a babysitter for my daughter.
Conni - I was also thinking about adding a book to the package, but wasn't sure of any good one's. Books are hard over the computer becuase you really can't get a good idea of what they're about. Any suggestions?
So I think I'll get maybe one NICU shirt and a couple larger items, like the 5lb stuff for when she can really wear them. But I think it'll make mom feel good just to know she has something that will fit even if she can't use it just yet. And I'll continue looking for a book.
Thanks again. I'll check back for any more suggestions.
Oh I forgot,
They don't live far from the hospital, and I asked her about reading to the baby, and she said right now, when the baby hears mom's voice she gets all excited and worked up. Too much so. She starts moving too much and her lungs can't handle all the extra activity. I feel terrible. Mom just sits and stares because she's too scared to talk and send her into an episode that she has to be intubated for again. Hopefully soon she'll relax a little more.
It takes time for both mom and baby.
Be supportive and let her talk about everything.
Timmy was my first so I didn't know any different with him. My friends tell me now how shocked they were with things that were normal to me. I would talk about them having to change the IV sites or the way the alarms would go off. Just the sheer terror of not having him close to me. Alot of the decisions are made by the NICU staff and the parents are told about them afterwards.
Wow! It's been two years and the feelings are still there.
Oh and the biggest. Check with the nurses but if you can take pictures, take a ton of them. Preemies change almost before your eyes. Have mom lay her hand beside the baby so that there is a reference to how small she really is. In such a short time, she will be so much bigger and it is hard to remember just how small she was.
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