Sometimes I feel like my dd who is 9 1/2, has almost no common sense. For instance, this morning we are on are way into church and I notice that you can see her panties through her dress, so since we live less than a mile from home and we were early to church, I brought her back home to change panties. I asked her if she even changed them after she woke up and she said "no, you didn't tell me too" HUH? I told her that she is old enough to know that she needs to change her panties every morning regardless of whether I tell her too or not. Same thing w/ brushing teeth, if I don't tell her, she would never do it.

There are more things just that that I feel like she should really know better. It's every day things that I have taught her to do on a daily basis since she was old enough to know.

I feel like I have to hold her hand on so many things and I'm really tired of it. Maybe it's not common sense she needs, but just responsibility. How old do they have to be before we can stop hand holding on these type of things? When I was nine, I got up every morning, fixed my on breakfast and picked out my own clothes. She won't even pick out her own clothes and if she does, it's horrible.

Help Me!!

By Emily7 on Sunday, April 18, 2004 - 11:47 pm:

My cousin was the same way. She has started to develope & we had to make her understand that she needs to start wearing a bra. Finally when she was taken shopping for them she started to wear them. We had to explain that if you don't change her undies she can get a UTI. But I think it is the age group. Maybe give her some responsibility that depends on her remembering to do it. Such as a little fish. Or if you ask her if she brushed her teeth & she hasn't take something away. When my husband & I first got together I made a "PUT THE SEAT DOWN" sign and stuck it on the bathroom mirror.

By Marcia on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 12:38 am:

My kids are the same way, and they are 7, 9 and 11. Just recently the 11 year old has started initiating taking a shower every day or 2.
Normally we lay the clothes out the night before, so they know what they have to wear in the morning. I don't have time to rush around with that in the morning.
I don't think that common sense comes into it at that age. They're too busy thinking about what to take to school for sharing to think about clean undies. LOL Hopefully it'll come to them before long!

By Ladypeacek on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 01:32 am:

My dd is the same way, always saying "you didn't tell me to" Never changes undies, not brushing her teeth, ect.... and i agree with Marcia, they are too busy thinking about the day then stupid hygene issues, lol!!

By Conni on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 09:34 am:

My almost 12 yr old JUST started this yr, making sure his hair is combed and gel'd, brushing teeth on his own, taking his medication without being reminded, putting deodorant on, etc... (Now matching his clothes is definitely NOT his strong point. He had to change 3 times before church last night.)


He still forgets school items quite often. It makes me crazy. He forgot a permission slip last week, to go bowling for an AR party. He called me from school asking if I could sign it and bring it to the school for him by 11:00 am when the students left. I said 'Man, that's too bad you forgot the permission slip. I am so busy this morning there is no way I can get it to you.' He was pretty shocked. I said ' What will you do while your class is gone bowling?' DS 'Sit and read for 3 hrs' Me 'OH GOOD atleast you dont have to sit and do work!! Find you a good book and enjoy your reading time. I love you!'

LOL I thought oh good, I left some sort of impression on him. Yeah me! Well, Friday he forgot another note at home. So we had a long talk about what HE can do to be more organized.

He also can't get up by his alarm yet. So we are really working on that, because I dont think I should still be waking him up every morning for school. My Mom certainly wasnt waking me up when I was his age. She was at work. I got myself up, got my brkfst if I ate, got myself ready, got all of my books, and got myself on the bus every morn.

I am hoping that with age comes more maturity and more responsibility shown. I agree with the others at 9 most kids just dont have it all together yet.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 09:34 am:

My ds is exactly the same. He used to get a shower and come out with his hair still dirty. He claimed that I had asked him to take a shower, not wash his hair!! I listed (maybe a little sarcastically...)EVERYTHING that taking a shower involves...turning on water, soaping up, etc., etc.!!! KIDS!!!!!

By Happynerdmom on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 09:35 am:

BTW, It seems he was at his worst around the same age as your dd. He has improved...slightly...

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 09:40 am:

I thought this was odd for a 9 yo, but then again I didn't have any siblings at 9. I read this to Nate, who has 2 brothers, and he said "Is the DD the oldest?" when I told him you had a younger son, he said DD is trying to regress, so she will get the same attention DS needs. It makes sense, especially because she is getting to a strange time in her life. (prepubescent) Just something to think about. If you think it is just forgetfulness, try making her a chart of daily and weekly things she has to do. If she gets an allowance, tell her it's only given when the tasks are completed. Monitor until it becomes a routine. Doesn't it take 30 days to form a habit? Good luck!!!

By Texannie on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 10:10 am:

My dd (10) is the exact same way and she is the youngest. It makes me crazy! She has been like this pretty much most of her life. I feel like at 10 that she shouldn't need the hand holding. I have found I have to be very specific with her just like when she was 4.

By Eight_Kids on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 11:23 am:

I have 4 boys that would ALL do the same things (they are 16, 15, 13 and 13) and I think have acquired their common sense. My 6yr dd on the other hand is just starting to lose hers. The other day she was getting dressed and I happened to be in her bedroom at the time and noticed she was taking off TWO pairs of panties to change into a new pair. ????????? Go figure THAT one out! I agree it's just the age and they catch on eventually. I have 3 step-daughters. The 17 yo has it COMPLETELY together. The 12yo is almost there and the same with the 11yr old. Have hope!!
you'll miss doing it later!

By Momaroze on Monday, April 19, 2004 - 01:10 pm:

Underwear over underwear LOL thought my ds was the only one to do that. My eldest son truthfully has never caused me any grief what so ever. I just never had to deal with stuff like this. He really is my dream son. I really thought there was something off with my younger ds as he is so forgetful, does silly things like puts clean undies over dirty undies, how about pants over pyjama pants. HONESTLY!