I feel like giving up right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004:
I feel like giving up right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kaitlyn has been driving me absolutely INSANE the last few days and I dont know what to do! She is constantly throwing horrible tantrums over NOTHING and is a constant embarrassment. I know some of these things i'll explain are normal and she'll grow out of it but i'm just still so bothered right now.
First off is that i'm soooo annoyed that she is scared of stangers, family, kids... basically anyone besides me, DH and my Mom. I have been taking her to the park to get her out because we really don't do too much around other kids. She will play for maybe 5 minutes until the first kid goes by then she just sits there and cries. I put her away from all the kids and she looks at me whining and will just sit there. Not even crawl over to me, like shes just lazy and I should do everything for her.
The Direct Tv installation guy came over yesterday and as soon as she saw him she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had to put her in her room and close the door to even hear the guy so we could figure out installation stuff.
We went to sushi last night and she kept trying to get out of her high chair so I would firmly (but not too firmly) put her back in the way shes suppose to be seated. She would scream at the top of her lungs, look at me and stop then try to get up again. It went over and over and over.
If were home and shes playing while i'm cleaning (which is rare that she plays by herself anyways) and I go out of sight she screams and cries and throws a tantrum.
She screams EVERYTIME the dog walks by her, even when the dog doesnt even acknowledge her.
When I tell her No she looks at me with this "What the **** did you just tell me" look and continues what shes doing. (Which has NEVER been a problem until recently)
I just feel like I have too much to do in the day for her to be constantly up my butt. I do make time to feed her food and a couple bottle feedings where I hold her, once in a while i'll rock her to sleep though she usually just goes to her crib now, I make time to play with her, to take her to the park hoping that her fear of kids will go away.
....and all this at the same time i'm cleaning the house (as shes behind me messing it up), think of what to pull out for dinner, run errands, study my school work, figure out bills (which has been hectic lately).... and hopefully finding time in the day for my little old self.
I feel like i'm raising a horribly bratty little girl who will throw tantrums when she doesnt get what she wants and will never get along with kids. I've been looking for a playgroup with no luck yet. What else can I do????
If I had someone to watch her for an hour a day, that would be awesome. I could shove all my "duties" into one hectic hour and get it over with.
well i would watch her for you but i think the drive to England would be hard, lol! My son stays up my butt too! He is okay about the tantrums now because when he throws them i use that time to do things! When she starts to scream set her down if you are holding her and start doing something, clean up, pretend to read, ignore the heck out of her! Any attention will be considered a prize to her even if you are mad! because she knows now what to do to push buttons, my son has a problem with screaming in stores, well some people leave but my son is too young for that to upset him so i strap in the cart and shop. I pay no mind to him! People stare and i don't care at all! If you do anything to tey and stop her she will keep doing it. As for being scared there is not much you can do. If she starts to scream at the park then leave, or if she won't get up then let her sit there and scream, just make sure you are close.
oh honey, i've BTDT! I can't even think of any advice for you right now. All i can say is this "this too shall pass", then there will be another problem to deal with 
Sorry i'm not much help here 
((HUGS))
I'm sorry, I've been there...hey I'm there today.
Church helps me a lot, I put them in the nursery and I get time to myself.
I don't know if they have anything like MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) in England but it would be worth checking out.
Do you have anyone you know with a baby close to her age, invite them over or meet them at the park. Most Mother's are glad to get out.
My middle has been whining all day, when his younger brother gets anywhere close to him he starts screaming. I'm starting to loose my patience with the whining too. As a matter of fact in the middle of typing that I did just loose my patience because he is crying and whining about his brother whistling...AAAGGHH!
Oh Melissa,
I know what it's like. My two year old went through that phase. You're doing the right thing in taking her out and continually exposing her to new people and new situations. Maybe you could talk with some of the moms at the park and find out when they usually come so that Katlyn sees some of the same children frequently.
Could the doorbell be scaring her, rather than the person who comes in? My son would cry in fear when he heard it until I let him press it many, many times and he got used to it.
As far as her not letting you out of her sight, practice with her. Play with her and engage her interest in a toy she can use by herself. Once she seems into it, tell her, "Mommy has to do something for a minute. I'll be right back". Then, pick yourself up and go. Let her scream. Let her cry. Come back in two minutes and praise her, reassure her. Try it for longer periods. It will be hard in the beginning, but once she learns that you are coming back, she won't be so anxious if she doesn't see you.
Just make sure the area in which you are leaving her is safe. I don't have a playroom, but my diningroom (which is just off the kitchen) is babyproofed. He can do what he likes in there, while I work in the kitchen. I have a safety gate between the two rooms for when I'm doing something dangerous, or for when I just want to have a cup of coffee in peace.
It takes a long time before they can amuse themselves and play independently. It also depends on the individual child.
Most of all - keep your sense of humor. Don't worry about what other people are thinking.\I hope some of these suggestions are helpful to you.
Ame
All three of my kids did something similar at this age. It sucks and she'll get over it but for now, it seems like you are doing the right thing. It can be hard to feel that way when it doesn't seem to be changing anything, though. I think the advice from the other ladies is on target but none of it is a quick fix. Good luck!
P.S. Where is CA are you located?
I know the doorbell isn't what scared her because I usually have the door open during the day with the babygate up so visitors usually knock. And she was scared the whole time he was over. I think I will try ignoring her. I hope this stage passes very quickly because I dont wanna pull all my hair out going crazy. As far as playgroups, I looked into Moms (Moms Offering Moms Support) and they dont have one local yet and I really dont need the added stress of putting one together. I have one neighbor who has a DD my age but I prefer not to hang around her. She also has a 3 year old DS and I could just image him tearing apart my house. And her house is quite dirty. Im feeling much better now than I did when I originally posted. Kaitlyn is entertaining herself emptying out my drawers. Sigh......... Another mess to clean on another day.....
Oh and tink, im in north san diego co.
It sounds to me like she needs some friends her age to socialize with. Have you looked into Parent Connection? There are Playgroups all over San Diego and I know there are some by you. My DS has been in one since he was 5 months old and is still best buddies with 2 of the kids, so they have grown up together. E-mail me and let me know if you want more info on it, but it sounds to me like it would really help Kaitlyn out and it would help you out as well. The support you get from the other moms is great and you get placed in a group where all the kids are within 3 months of eachother.
I would say that all of this is very normal. She's still so very young.
Forget about the cleaning, bills, etc until she's sleeping. You'll just drive yourself crazy trying to clean around her.
It won't be long before she passes through this stage and becomes little miss independent.
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