I keep reading the stories of other peoples dk and am just waiting for my DD to start in on it too, lol. She already throws tantrums, and I'm even more scared of how she'll be when the new baby comes. Just my input, I shouldn't read the "help me I'm going insane" type posts. LOL and good luck to all of you!

By Mommyathome on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 01:39 pm:

LOL Melana. Be afraid.....be very afraid

My DS is actually my first taste of "the other side". My girls have always been very good kids. I've always thought that other people must be doing something wrong, because my girls are just so good.
AND THEN: My DS was born Enough said! He's the screaming child in the grocery store. He's the one throwing a tantrum on the floor. He's the one that is making me insane. But he has the sweetest little look when he says "I love you" and he calls me sweetheart. "weeheart" It's the sweetest thing. Sometimes he can be really good. And, sometimes he can be really bad.

By Ladypeacek on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 02:08 pm:

I think you will be better off than i was!!! My first one one 7 when my ds was born! Everyone said "OHH thats wonderful, your dd can help you, and she will be a wonderful big sister", well HA!! I haven't seen it yet, she was jealous and they fight now constantly! They are just too far apart! You may have a little jealousy at first but it will fade! If you have the tantrum throwing one now, maybe you will be lucky and get the calm one next, lol!!! Good luck to you!!

By Marg on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 04:25 pm:

I've been truly blessed....

My sister and I are 3 years apart. She never liked me and constantly told me that We are trying to work on it but we are now 38 and 41, lol!

However, we have 3 dds, ages 11, 8 and 3. I don't know what I would do without them.

Rachel - 11 is caring and nurturing, she is so loving and everything just rolls off her back.

Shannon - 8 is the silly one and makes everyone laugh. She can be flustered by Alyssa.

Alyssa - 3 the bold daring, I can do anything better than you!

They are all loving and get along 95 percent of the time. Where you find one you'll find the other two. It is way different the my sister and I. I often wish I would have had a sister who loved me that much and wanted to play with me.

They have their moments, especially with Alyssa, and I think the age thing is a huge factor. But they just go with the flow.

By Coopaveryben on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 05:11 pm:

My two youngest are 14 months apart and although it is hard at times it is fun to see them growing together, they really think a lot of each other.

I think girls are a lot different, believe me I think there are certainly exceptions to that rule but for the most part girls seem to be a lot calmer.

By the way congratulations!

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 06:50 pm:

I think with most kids it is how you react to the first tantrums that makes the difference. I don't know how it would work with kids who have disabilities of one kind or another, but I know with my boys, when they tried tantrums I just picked the kid up, put him in his room (they didn't have TVs or much for amusement in their rooms besides stuffed animals and books), and said they could come out when they were ready to be civilized. If the tantrum came in a store or restaurant, either it stopped or we left. I would warn - if you don't stop this behavior and start being polite by the time I count 10, we are leaving. And we left.

I remember my middle son trying out a tantrum - a full blown laying on the floor kicking, screaming and flailing his arms around. But he was holding a Matchbox car in one hand and hit his forehead with it. He stopped the tantrum, put down the car, and went back to the tantrum. He was terribly affronted when I fell to the floor in laughter.

I think tantrums are from some different causes. Sometimes you just have an exhausted child who has reached his/her limit of ability to behave, and starts crying and carrying on. You can usually tell when this is the case, and the best thing to do is pick up the child and leave wherever you are so s/he can be in a quiet, calm place. A child who is overloaded with tiredness, activity or noise really needs to be in a place where s/he can cry him/herself into calmness.

Sometimes it is an effort to get "what I want when I want it". If you give in, you will get more tantrums and more, because your child will have learned that s/he can get what s/he wants by having a tantrum. If the tantrum is "but I want it", you just keep saying no, pick up the child and leave, or put the child in the bedroom or a quiet place with the instruction that s/he can come out when s/he is ready to be polite.

We had a Guatemalan refugee family in Sanctuary in our church for many years and I watched how they handled their children. When a child began acting up, mom or dad would pick up the child, sit down, and cuddle the child and murmur soothing things, hum a little, and keep holding and petting the child. The child would always calm down in a reasonable period of time. These kids are now - goodness, Lucy graduates from college this month and Joel begins college in the Fall - and they are very fine young people. I don't think they ever, ever hit a child, and almost never yelled.

By Ladypeacek on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 01:28 am:

OHHH ginny...that is so funny, my dd tried her first tantrum after watching another kid do it in a store..LOL. It was the funniest thing, she threw herself down and started kicking and screaming, i started egging her on, saying..is that all you got..c'mon you can do better..no no i want REAl tears..and i just laughed and laughed...all while we were in the middle og the store. People stared at me and her...BUT that was the last tantrum she ever threw!

By Michimo on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 09:42 am:

Ok I'll admit it. With the first tantrum any of my kids threw, I beat the crud out of them (NOT LITERALLY!) But they did get spankings. None of them threw another, and now they're too old for tantrums, or spankings. My best friend has a daughter who really seems unable to control her tantrums. She is six, and in K. so this could become an issue w/ teacher. What to do?

By Bellajoe on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 03:10 pm:

LOL Robin, i could have written that same post! My dd is pretty well behaved, always ready and willing to do whatever you want her to do. Loves to give hugs and kisses and tells me that i am beautiful and how much she loves me.

My ds on the other hand is SO stubborn! He is the one screaming and kicking in the parking lot because he does not want to get into the carseat, the one being dragged out of the mall screaming and crying, etc. But he is also the sweetest little boy and cuddly with the cutest smile ever. And he also calls me sweetheart and tells me that i am beautiful!

By Momaroze on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 05:35 pm:

I have to say my ds's were very well behaved in public. From young the first sign of a tantrum was dealt with similar to what Ginny had said.
We'll see what happens with baby #3.

By Tink on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 05:51 pm:

My kids are also pretty good in public but when my first had a tantrum in a store, I was so embaressed when some women were giving me that look, you know the look, I picked her up and said "We are going home so your mommy can hear about how you were acting for me" and walked out. I was too ashamed to even admit that she was mine! Since we did leave the store, I think it served the correct purpose but I can't believe I pretended that she wasn't mine.

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 07:19 pm:

Corrine, I laughed so hard when I read what you did...That is too funny