In our new neighborhood, there are lots of kids. There are about 12 dks that live in the few houses right next to us. They are mainly boys that range in age from 6-12. They have all lived here for years and have grown up together. The boys have been playing outside every afternoon this week because the weather is finally nice. They usually play catch, basketball(several of the houses have goals, including ours) or touch football. The older boys are very good about looking after the younger ones that are playing. All of the boys have been great about including my oldest ds(age 6), which is wonderful since we just moved in. Most days I am outside because I also have my 3 yr. old. I usually sit outside with 1 or more of my neighbors and we visit while the kids play. Yesterday, when I came in with my younger ds, my oldest wanted to stay outside and play with the boys. At our old house I wouln't allow him to play out front without me because all the dks were young and our street was fairly busy. I am now reconsidering since our new street is quiet and there are several older boys with him. I don't mind at all when they all play in the backyard because our house has all windows in back and I can keep an eye on them. What do you think about the front yard?? I told ds that I would think about it and talk with dh and we would set up some rules. Dh thinks it is okay as long as he is out with all the boys. I am just not sure.

By Ladypeacek on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 11:23 am:

I was fairly strict too for a long time with my dd, still am. She is 8 and i let her out in the front and back yard to play by herself but she likes to go to the playground around the corner, it isn't on a street at all and only about 50 feet from our building but i can't see it from the house. I allow her to go with a group but never alone. Its sad to have to do that. i trust her to stay out of the street and have for a few years, since about 5 or 6. I know that she would never go with a stranger but i still like to be able to see her. I wouldn't be able to hear her scream from in the house. So my rule of thumb is there has to be atleast 3 of them with her at all times and if not she can't go out of sight from the window. You can never be too careful now even in the nicest of neighborhoods! Plus this way if she were to fall and hurt herself there is someone to stay with her and someone to come and get me, that is why i chose 3 as the group number!

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 12:06 pm:

A lot of different factors come into play in this personal decision. Age and maturity of each individual child and location/atmosphere/type of neighborhood involved first come to mind. Although I'm starting to allow my kids (almost 6 and almost 8) to play in the yard without me, I don't do it often and not for long. We're in a "safe" neighborhood on a quiet street but we live in a rural area and have had wild critters come to visit. A black bear has been in our yard repeatedly. That alone scares the heck out of me! LOL!

By Bellajoe on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 12:07 pm:

Ladypeacek, i think that is a a very fair rule. I have actually been wondering the same thing, when is it ok to let your kids outside by themself (meaning w/o an adult) my dd will be 5 in May, i have no problem letting her play in the backyard by herself, but she doesn't want to, which is fine too. My ds on the other hand is 3 and has no problem playing by himself outside, but he is too young for that yet. So, till they are both older, i guess i have to sit outside and watch them play

By Sunny on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 01:35 pm:

When I am sure that they will listen to me when I call them, when I know they know the rules (certain geographic boundaries are not to be crossed; usually from tree to tree), when I feel they are mature enough to handle being outside without me. I don't go by age, but more by maturity. My two older boys were allowed outside by themselves when they were about 6 for short periods of time (of course, I kept an eye on them from inside) and they were allowed to walk to the store or a friend's house a street away by the time they were 10, alone. My 6 yr old is not allowed outside without me unless one of his older brothers is out here, simply because he still doesn't listen all the time!

I know that she would never go with a stranger This caught my eye, only because I've watched too many shows where a hidden camera caught kids, whose parents swore their kids wouldn't go with someone they didn't know, being led away by a stranger. I'm not saying your daughter would, but we are constantly surprised by things we never thought could happen. It doesn't hurt to have regular conversations with our kids about some of the dangers out there (even if they roll their eyes at us each time. ).

By Mommmie on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 01:40 pm:

On our street its about at age 5 or 5 and a half. We have very little traffic (rear entry garages). My son is 9 now and I still look out the windows a lot, though, and my computer is set up in a front seat window so I can look out while I'm on the computer.

I can't alway keep track of him though as they run in and out of houses and go jump on a trampoline in one family's backyard and another kid lives behind us on the next street. Luckily they prefer my house so they are in here mostly. My son knows which kids he is allowed to play with and which 2 he is not.

By Debbie on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 01:48 pm:

I am leaning toward letting him play out front without me. My ds is very mature for his age. Also, the two older boys that play with him are very responsible. When they play out front it is usually because they are playing basketball and they are at my house or one of my immediate neighbors. The moms of the kids all stay at home, so they are right in the house. Our street is a cross street in between two main streets, so the only traffic we have are the people that live on the street. We live in the middle of the block, so the main streets are not close. It is a very family oriented neighborhood with tons of kids everywhere. All of the dks live in 5 houses, ours being in the middle. I think we are just going to do a trial with the following rules. 1) the older boys have to be out with him 2) he has to be at one of their houses 3) if he goes to one of the other dks's houses, he has to tell me first. I am going to stress to ds that it is a trial, so if anything comes up that I am not comfortable with we can change it.

By Debbie on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 01:56 pm:

Sunny, you make a good point about listening and following the rules. My oldest is very good about this, that is the only reason I am considering it. One of my biggest concerns I have is a stranger approaching him. I guess, I am more comfortable about it now because there is always such a big group of them when they are out playing. They are usually so loud that I can actually hear them when I am inside. Usually, they play in the backyards(we have no fences)and our house is all windows in the back, so I can keep an eye on them. So...it isn't going to be an everyday thing.

By Coopaveryben on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 03:10 pm:

My DS is 6 and has been playing outside by himself since he was 5. We live on a dead end street there are only 3 houses past mine and his friends live in the last house. I know everyone who lives on my street and my son is very good about following rules, he knows where he has to stay. In fact he has been outside since 9:30 this morning, of course I go out and check on him frequently and he comes in for lunch. He loves to be outside.

I have a sliding door in my basement that opens into the fenced in back yard, I open that door and let my 1 and 2 year old go into the back yard to play while I am down here doing laundry, on the computer, cleaning, etc. I can see and hear them at all times and there are no dangers back there, they can't get out, nothing can get in and they have their swing set and riding toys. I keep the door open and I float in and out too.

By Mara on Thursday, April 8, 2004 - 03:20 pm:

My sons are 7 and 4/half. I let them play together in our back yard. I don't let the little guy play out there by himself, only if his brother wants to play too. If the older one does'nt want to then the little one can play on our covered front porch by himself. I am constantly looking out the door/window when either of them are outside though.

By Marcia on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 12:29 am:

My kids were allowed to play in the fenced back yard since they were safely able to use the climber on their own. When they were very young, I would make sure I was in the kitchen, which is filled with windows.
They are now 7.5, 9 and 11. The 11 year old is allowed to go to a friend's place down the street, and can go with that friend to the park, at the end of the street. She knows she has to call me to let me know when she gets there, and when she's leaving for home.
The other 2 don't have friends on the street, but they can ride up and down a certain number of houses.
They all walk home from school without an adult, as do most of the kids in our neighbourhood.

By Insaneusmcwife on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 11:55 am:

I have a 2yo and a 6yo and before last week I let them play in the locked fenced in back yard by themselves. Now we have a kiddie pool and although it doesn't have very much water in it, my 2yo doesn't go out there by herself. The trampoline has and inclosure on it but again the 2yo doesn't use it by herself. We are on a military base and I have let my 6yo play out front across the street in my neighbors yard with her kids but she is usually out there with them. I have let him go with my other neighbors dd who is 9 to the park which is 3 doors down and I can see it clearly from my back yard. I also allow him to walk 9 houses down to his friends house, but I stand at the sidewalk and watch him walk down and the other mom stands at the other end to watch for him too. Again I said we are on a military base and as "safe" as it is supposed to be I still would not let my kids run as they please. Last week I had a 5yo knock on my door with a 4yo, 2 3yo's and a 2yo and ask if they can play on my trampoline. I said most certainly not without talking to your parents first, I asked them how old they were the oldest told me, I asked them if thier moms knew where they were and where they lived. She told me that their moms were at home and knew they were running around, and that they lived 2 blocks away in the higher ranking housing. I was beside myself when they told me this. I called the military police and gave decriptions of the kids and aproximately where they lived. It is against the rules on this base for kids that young to be running wild. Not to mention extremely dangerous, just because this is a military base doesn't mean that weirdo's cant get on base, All you have to have is a valid drivers lisence, current registration and insurance and a destination and they will let you on base.

By Melana on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 01:02 pm:

just out of curiosity, where are you stationed at, DH, DD and I are getting ready to move onto Ft. Campbel soon, might be nice to know another military mom. DD is still only 9 months, and I don't think I'll be letting her play outside by herself untill she's between 7-8 depending on her maturity.

By Insaneusmcwife on Friday, April 9, 2004 - 03:00 pm:

We are in 29 Palms, CA. I'm not familiar with where Ft. Campbel is.

By Melana on Sunday, April 11, 2004 - 09:38 am:

the beautiful state of KY, lol