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Potty training! Help!

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004: Potty training! Help!
By Eve on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 06:21 pm:

I would love some ideas to get my DD more interested in potty training. I've been sticking her in "big girl" underwear when we are home. At first, she would hold it and hold it....but now, she just pees and then tells me. A few times she has run into the bathroom and peed on the floor as soon as I walked out of the room. Tonight, she just went, right where she was playing.

I'm happy to report that her Preschool is one that is very open to helping her train and it's not required. Still, I am hoping to find something that will spark an interest.

Pull ups are great, but she thinks of them as a diaper, so I know they won't do the trick. The underwear that she likes, is cute, but it holds NO liquid, and it's awful when cleaning up messes. Trina gave us some of the thick white ones and I am trying those now!

If anyone has any ideas, that would be great! What can I do to help her make the connection? I think I am going to go do an online search to try to find some training pants made of plastic. Something that she will feel wet, but that won't be a huge mess! Any ideas? Thanks! :)

By Eve on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 06:22 pm:

Oh, btw, how often should I have her sit on the potty to attempt to go? I guess I need to go buy a book! Aggh!

By Debbie on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 07:31 pm:

Eve, I am no help in this area. Josh will be 4 in 3 months and he is not potty trained. However, we are starting Monday. He seems to be okay with it. We have been talking a lot about him being a big boy. He wants to play T-ball this summer and he is signed up for school in the fall. We have been telling him that he has to be potty trained to do these things.

I guess I have no suggestions, just want you to know you are not alone. Is Syd showing signs that she is ready. Does she know when she has to go??? Is she staying dry for long periods of time??? Josh is showing all the signs, he just hasn't wanted to use the potty. My oldest was just past 3 when he potty trained. He just sort of did it one day. It must have been easy because I don't remember much about it. I did read a potty training book a few months back when attempting once again to potty train Josh. It said to try for a few days and if no luck to wait a few weeks and then try again. I have done this and am getting no where. I told Josh that I am not buying anymore diapers when we run out. They are going to magically run out on Monday. We went and picked out underwear and he says he is ready.....We will see. As far as the mess, you can buy plastic pants to put on over her underwear. This way she will feel wet, but it will be less of a mess.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 08:07 pm:

My kids were old, 3-3/4 and 3-1/2 before they were trained. It went quickly at that point. They just weren't all that interested any earlier and I didn't push it. They liked getting gummi bears when they were successful. Eventually, you don't need the treat anymore.

By Coopaveryben on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 09:39 pm:

My 2 1/2 year old could have cared less a month ago and is now going. IMO it is not worth putting you and her through it if she isn't interested, she will be and it will be so much easier.

Mine also goes better if he is naked, he runs around the house like this all day...quite frankly we are getting sick of seeing his butt. But it is working for him.

Pull ups are not worth the money. They are diapers, they pull the sensation away from them, when they wet they need to feel it and be a little uncomfortable.

Dr. Phil did a great show on Potty Training in one day, here is the link (you'll have to copy and paste):
websitehttp://www.drphil.com/advice/advice.jhtml?contentId=par_pottyprintable.xml&section=Parenting&subsection=Infants/Toddlers

By Kate on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 11:24 pm:

Eve, it's been my experience that OTHERS' experiences are of no help in this area, LOL! However, I shall share our recent developments with you on the off chance that something will strike a chord with you or Syd.

My DD JUST trained, in one day, last week. She is now 3.4 years old. It was a fluke and NOT planned. We woke up one morning and the diaper drawer was empty. I knew full well we had a new pack in the closet, however I lukewarmly said, 'oh dear...we have no more diapers. You'll need to wear underpants now and use the potty.' Well, she protested so I told her she could just keep her nighttime diaper on then (which was dry anyway) and within half an hour she had wet, but for some reason she happily put on her underwear and I warily headed off to bible study. Two hours later I returned home and my husband said she was still dry and not asking for a diaper. At that point I decided I may as well go for it, so I started plying her with liquids. That's key....they need LOTS of liquids so that you have something to WORK with!! Fill her up, and give her salty snacks, too, so she'll crave MORE liquids. Seriously, put aside any dietary concerns and let her go to town. She needs the consistent practice, and if she only needs to go every four or five hours, it's a slow process and not fun because she can't practice it or have fun with it if she doesn't have to go! It's just frustrating.

Anyway, for awhile I kept dragging her off to the potty and reading to her but nothing happened. After about four hours of this I got so bored and uncomfortable having to hunker down in the bathroom over and over that I put her potty seat in the playroom and we just stayed there. EIGHT HOURS went by before she finally went. She had NEVER gone potty before, despite her desire to sit on it at times. I was reading to her as she sat on the potty and all of a sudden her expression changed and I could tell it was finally going to happen. I kept it low key but happy and proud cause I didn't want to scare her or make her think it was the be all and end all. I praised her and we sang and danced a little song I made up and then Daddy and big sister praised her and I told her how she could now get her five M&Ms. She was pleased with it all. It helped that her big sister was getting M&Ms and praise, and I suggest you and your husband suddenly start singing and praising each other when you go, and getting some snack reward. Anyway, an hour later she had accident number one, and then an hour after that accident two. I was SURE we were back to square one, after all, she'd practically spent all day on the potty, it was in our favor she was going to actually go IN it at some point.

That night she went to bed in a diaper we found in the car and unexpectedly, when she got up she was agreeable to my suggestion that she go potty. Off with the diaper, on with the underpants, and she went potty! And Eve, she's used the potty ever since! She had ONE more accident a day later, and that was poop, and I explained to her that THAT goes in the potty, too, and she's been accident free now for over a week. She goes all on her own, with no prompting, NOR any help which rather freaks me out! I'll be on the computer or making dinner and I'll hear FLUSH! She stops her playing when necessary, goes potty, and gets back to playing. She willingly goes when I tell her we're leaving the house or going to bed so we have to go potty first. She's an absolute pro and I had NO idea it was going to happen.

SO. Use anything you might think is helpful from my story. Fill her up with drinks and salty snacks, praise your husband for going and sing and reward, and during the day when YOU go, just casually say, 'oh, Mommy has to go potty, my body is telling me.' Then go, and then come out and say 'oh goody! I went potty, now I get five M&Ms!' Then eat them and sing, and go about your business. She'll want in on that! And putting the potty seat in the playroom really helped, I think, because it was a visual reminder to her. After only four days she couldn't have cared less about any reward or singing and the potty seat is in the bathroom where it belongs. Before it went back to the bathroom she used to go without us knowing, and calmly walk the full pot thru the whole house and into the bathroom, dump it, and flush. I'm still amazed by it all. Good luck!!!

By Amy~moderator on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 12:21 am:

I've GOT to try that, Kate! Thanks!!!!

By Ladypeacek on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 05:00 am:

i definitely agree with Kate! That worked for me too except i used cupcakes. I trained in one day with a potty party for anyone that went in my house, i even bought the little birthday hats and we danced and sung its my potty and i will go if i want to go if i want to to the tune fo its my party!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 07:39 am:

I agree with the pull-ups. They definitely didn't help my cause with my older daughter. When my younger daughter WANTED to wear underwear, I just let her. She had a few accidents and then didn't anymore after that. The culmination was when she pooped in the pink Pocahontas panties! She looked at the mess, said, "I pooped in the pink Pocahontas panties!" She never did it again! (Also makes for a funny store to retell over and over, too!)

By Debbie on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 09:52 am:

Sounds like great suggestions. I guess I will have a potty training party on Monday. My ds wants to use the big potty (it has a cushy seat on top) which is fine by me. I happens to be right next to our playroom. I guess I will be in the playroom all day Monday. My older ds is really excited about helping. Hopefully, it will go as smoothly as yours did Kate.

I am doing a treasure box. My older ds has this at school. On treasure box days, my youngest tells me how sad he is that he doesn't go to school and pick out of the treasure box. I filled it with small trinkets and candy and he will get to pick out of it each time he goes on the potty. I am hoping this helps.

By Mommyathome on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 03:08 pm:

Eve, are you using a childs potty or the regular one? My kids never liked the kids potty. We just go straight for the regular one.
We were actually planning on not training my DS until early summer,(more convenient for us at that time!) but he has taken the lead. He does pretty good. He's still in diapers, but he does have underwear in his drawer. He just tells us when he needs to go and we take the diaper off and he goes in the potty.
I think my DS is still young enough and naive (sp?) enough to believe that going in the potty is *oh so cool* and *the greatest thing on earth*. If he were older he would probably realize that it's just another fact of life and he can get away with being lazy with it until he decided to do it. So, in a way, I'm glad he took the lead and is enjoying it.

With my middle DD we did something that most will say is a big "no-no". She started wearing panties shortly after turning 2. There were days that she would go on the potty, and then days that she would wet herself. I *knew* she understood and was just being lazy about it. So, she we got a little upset with her a couple times after she had "accidents" and that's all it took. Once she realized that she wasn't allowed to pee all over the floor and herself, she was fine. Up until then, we would just clean it up and tell her to go in the potty and that was about it. Once she figured out that she *had* to go in the potty, because going on the floor wasn't an option, she trained VERY quickly!

By Jodie on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 08:40 pm:

I read Dr Phil's advice on his website and found it to be a bit unrealistic.
If you're looking for good training pants that won't leak , try Bummis toddler training pants. These are great and absorbent but at the same time the child feels the wetness. No leaks at all even at night. There is a nice website called www.katieskisses.com where I got these from. They sell liners as well for easy poop cleanup and overnight use.Many other websites as well sell bummis training pants. You might find them on sale somewhere. I have 7 of those and they really helped. My DS is 26 months and potty trained for # 1 . #2 training is still ongoing.
Goodluck with whatever you decide.

By Txmomof2angels on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 08:29 am:

When we decided to put him in undies, we had to take him the the bathroom every hour. If we didn't, he would have an accident. We did that over the weekend and then eventually had him in pull-ups again because all his undies were wet and I took him as often as I could.It is hard to remember especially with another little one. Then yesterday he had a dry pull-up all day. Each time he told me when he had to go. I don't know if the same will happen today because he does change from day to day. I've just taken the approach to take it one day at a time and not to expect him to be trained overnite and I know it will happen. This has been off and on for about 8 months. Hope this helps.

By Eve on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 11:52 am:

Thanks for all the advice! Every once in a while I get a little crazy about the whole thing! Sometimes DD does really well, and other times shows NO interest at all! She has been resisting anything other than a diaper and a pull up!

Soo....we've starting bribing again with gifts. LOL! She's gone a few times, so I guess that's a start!

Thanks for the ideas! I'll keep you all posted! Right now she's in Dora undies! Hope for the best.:)

I'm going to check out those training pants too! Thanks, Jodie!

By Andi on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 06:26 pm:

We started potty training Dylan at 21/2 and it took a month for him to really get it down to the point where he would tell me if he had to go potty.

I would just sit him on the big potty with the little insert,(he never liked the kid potty's) and we would read and sing until he went potty or got really bored. We also stayed home for a week and just focused on potty training. We also played outside alot and I let him run around in the backyard with no Big Boy Pants on and when he had to go he would pee in the grass.

I also had a sticker chart that we made together on the wall in the bathroom and every time he went potty he got to put a sticker on the chart, I had stars in some boxes and if he made it to a star we went to the toy store and I let him pick out a special toy. I also had a few special toys in the closet that he could pick from if he hit a star.

Good luck and I do know from personal experiance that girls are much easier to potty train than boys...on average. so you have that going for you. :)

By Eve on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 06:41 pm:

Update! She's gone on the potty ALL day! She even POOPED! She is really happy and into it right now. So, I'm going with the flow! LOL! Just wanted to let you all know!:)

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 06:49 pm:

Eve, congratulations to your daughter!

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 07:02 pm:

WAY TO GO, Sydney! Woo Hoo!

text description

By Andi on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 07:36 pm:

CONGRATULATIONS!!! How exciting! I am so proud of her!!! :):):):):):):):):):):)

By Mommyathome on Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 07:44 pm:

:):):)Great Job Sydney!!!! You Are Such A Big Girl!!!
:):):)

By Andi on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:13 am:

Eve,
How is it going???

By Eve on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:28 am:

Hi Andi-
Well, she's doing pretty well. She doesn't ask to go, but I notice her pull up is staying dry in between potty breaks. She's not too eager to sit on public toilets (I don't blame her), but she has a few times. She has not gone, but I've been sort of forcing her, just so she gets used to it. I tell her she doesn't have to pee, but needs to sit and try it out. She's been telling her cow (Her favorite stuffed toy) that she is a big girl. So, I think she is on her way. I don't care if she is totally trained, I just wanted her to atleast be going on the potty SOME of the time.

Oh, I also bought LOTS of stickers and coloring books, and candy for treats when she goes. She is finally interested in that! So, so far, so good.

Now, if she would just tell me when she has to go! LOL! Although, I notice now she is grabbing herself when she has to go, so I use that as my cue to get her on the potty.

She even happily sat on the regular toilet last night before bath and didn't hold on to me and didn't cry! That is a first. So, I'm feeling much better about the whole thing!! Thanks so much for asking!:)

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 12:36 pm:

Eve, this is the stage when I started keeping a small potty seat in the van. Saved us MANY times when out in public. They're often scared of public toilets, and I don't blame them! LOL! Also was a big help when they suddenly HAVE to go when out and about and there isn't a bathroom easily accessible. I kept large, zip-lock bags and tissues handy. Put a zip-lock bag in the potty seat, use a tissue to wipe, drop into the baggie, zip shut and throw away in the nearest trash can! TA DA!

By Eve on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 01:04 pm:

Thanks, Trina. I was thinking about this today actually! I was thinking....where would a potty fit in the car? On the seat or on the floor? Hmmm....I may check out the inflatable potty that you liked.:)

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 01:12 pm:

Keep the inflatable potty inflated. :) You'll have an accident to deal with if a little one has to wait for the potty to be blown up. LOL! I would keep it on the floor when not in use and put it on the vehicle seat when you need it. An inflatable one is a good choice because it won't be harmful if it becomes a projectile in a crash. (I know, I'm a CPS nerd! LOL!)

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 01:18 pm:

Hey, I might get one of these myself! Good for up to 60 lbs.. DS refuses to use the one we have now because it's for babies. LOL! This would be great for those times when in a pinch. Also not a projectile hazard in the back of the van.


Inflatable Potty Seat

By Debbie on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 02:19 pm:

Eve, it sounds like she is doing great. I know my oldest ds (age 6) still hates to use public restrooms. Heck, I don't blame him, it is not my favorite place to go either.

I am potty training ds this week. It is going better then I thought. He actually wants to do it which is a step in the right direction. He just went all over the floor yesterday. Not good. He asked me why his underwear didn't work, the pee was coming out the hole in front.
I couldn't stop laughing. We then had a long talk about how you weren't suppose to go in them, but in the potty. Today he has been sitting whenever I ask and he actually came running and said he had to go. He couldn't go once he sat down and he ended up going as soon as he stood up. It is progress though. He has never told me he has had to go and then tried to sit. He is getting there. I refuse to give up!!

By Andi on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 10:42 am:

That is one of the wonderful things about having a boy...he can pee standing up. I agree about public restrooms..eeeeewwwww.

The only problem we are having is he learned to go poop on the potty sitting backwards, (facing the back of the toilet) because he felt much more secure. He also strips down the whole bottom half of his outfit including shoes. (Sorda like Geaoge Kastanza from Seinfeld :)) Well he will be starting Pre-School in September and I need to break him of this habit. Any suggestions?

By Melanie on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 02:43 pm:

Okay Eve, now I am officially jealous! LOL. Every night Peyton takes my face in her hands and says, "Mommy, can I tell you something? When I go to school, I wear panties and pee on the potty and go surfing." Don't ask where the surfing thing came from, she just threw that part in a couple weeks ago! So she is thinking about it, but just won't do it yet. :)

By Annie2 on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 02:46 pm:

Andi, my son is 6 and just stopped stripping completely naked to poop. LOL Thank goodness he never had to go at school!


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