I read Melana's post. I can totally relate to her. My story is a little different though. My 4month old is still waking for a bottle every 3-4 hours. It is ridiculous. He seems generally hungry but I think this has become a "habit". He is getting enough during the day and more than enough attention so I feel (I hate to do it) but I may have to take the CIO route too. It's very stressful (lack of sleep) not just for myself but for my family. My dh works nights so he can't help out. I'm at my wits end too. I thought by now 4months he would sleep at least 5 hours ( that has happend once or twice) Well good luck to Melana. P.s. my ds is held alot during the day or else he cries when I put him down. Not crying all the time but alot. When all his needs are met I'm thinking I am going to let him CIO more often during the day too this may help him get some energy out.....and sleep better throughout the night. Who knows. Sometimes it feels neverending....but I know it will one day

By Txmomof2angels on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 07:30 pm:

What does your pediatrician say? Mine was 9 months and I was not letting her CIO yet. My dr. said by 7 months they get enough to eat during the day. If your pedi. is anything like mine he would be a big help in telling you how to go about it. I agree to let him cry it out when you know his needs are met to give you a break.

By Momaroze on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 08:29 pm:

Good question. At 31/2 months I was told to let him CIO. She said he has to learn to fall asleep on his own. She also told me to get daycare for him once a week because he isn't sleeping well....and would be beneficial to me. We don't have family here so I really have no help. I survived with my other two ds's. I just really don't want this to go on and on if all it's going to take is a few nights of crying. Don't get me wrong I don't even know if I have the strength to deal with CIO. It's hard to do.....I'm thinking about it though. I really think I'm under alot of stress and I'm even thinking I'm losing my hair because of it. It's been tough. I'm working out alot too which I probably shouldn't be. That is exhausting to and was recomended from my doctor to wait for another 3 months to try to slim down?

By Coopaveryben on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 08:39 pm:

Evalyn,
When I had boy number 3 it was a major adjustment, I don't know how old your other two are but my youngest are 14 months apart. It was a stressfull time. I keep a diary for the boys when they get older I looked back to when my youngest was 3 to 4 months and I was doing a lot of crying. I'm generally a laid back person but it is a lot of stress. I look back at the diary now and laugh, one would be screaming, the other whining, the third just spilled juice in the floor, etc. All I can tell you is it is about to get a lot easier and it will get easier everyday after that.

I don't know if you have considered taking anything but I got a prescription of Zanex, after I was done nursing. I am not endorsing drugs but I can't tell you how much it has helped. I don't take them everyday and in fact now I may take one every month or two when I just feel I can't handle it.

There is something about 3, when you have two you still have an arm and an eye for each one, but three...YIKES

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 12, 2004 - 10:49 pm:

Wow, I was lucky! My oldest one slept through the night at 8 weeks. At that point from about 11pm until about 6am or so. Then by three months, she was sleeping from 7p until about 7a. It was wonderful.

My younger one was sleeping through the night by about 3 months. With her she was a little more hit or miss. Some nights she would and some nights she wouldn't. I really can't remember anymore when it became more consistent. Of course on the nights she slept well, the 2 yo would wake up! LOL! Figures, huh?

By Txmomof2angels on Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 07:19 am:

if your dr. says it's O.K. to let him cry it out and your O.K. with it go for it. i know in my situation i just had to have all the bases covered: i knew she was healthy - no ear infection, i gave her Mortin in case she was teething, i found all the pacifiers i could find and put them in her crib. I even walked with her and sang to her until she started closing her eyes. Then i just layed her down, covered her up and left. i had the monitor on low so she wasn't screaming in my ear. i got through and feel so much better now. it sounds to me that you need it too. As my dr. says "May the force be with you."

By Momaroze on Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 12:09 pm:

Yes, maybe I should go to the doctor at least it is a start. Honestly I really feel like I'm treading water just to stay afloat. I don't have any time to talk on the phone. What would I do without cyber friends!!! It is a great release. Is that an antidepressant you took or is it just something to calm you down. I will look into it. Even if I just take something to calm me down on the night I let him CIO. It's not just the baby either, it's everything. I don't know if I'm blowing things out of context....3 kids is tough. Tough period in my life. Yes, I think I will see the doctor about this. I will let you know how it goes? Thanks alot!!!!

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

I believe it is an antianxiety. I know my post had nothing to do with this topic but I have been reading all your post and I just so know where you are at and I can't help but feel for you. I think the doctor will help, I'm glad you decided to go.

By Jodie on Saturday, March 13, 2004 - 09:20 pm:

I have only ONE and I was falling apart. What with my real bad labor, c-section and no family in the same country to ask any help from. DH was exhausted, DS was colicky and very high maintainance and I was hell bent on nursing . The c section medications delayed my milk coming in fully as per my OB/GYN and no sleep.
I was anxious all the time, my hair started falling out, I was eating all the time etc etc I'm sure you get the picture.
At 5 months DS was nursing every 2 hours 24/7 !! My pediatrician suggested CIO but I'm firmly against that so I asked my Gyne for meds for me and he suggested Xanax but I was nursing so he sent me to an alternative medicine doctor and I started homeopathic medicnes to calm down my nerves and accupressure at home as well.It worked like a CHARM !He aslo suggested I try organic chamomile tea lightly brewed for DS at bedtime and soon enough DS was sleeping 5 hours at 7 months !!
Well DS is 2 now and started sleeping thru the night at 18 months but I was ok with that. 5 straight hours is ok sleep for me. The medicines helped as well.I happily nursed for 14 months till DS weaned himself and happily co slept and still co sleep with DS . The medicines don't knock you out just allow you to get a grip and are very gentle with no side effects whatsoever. I still use them what with the temper tantrums etc.I'm back to full time school for my advanced studies and it's sheer madness without my meds !
I give you a lot of credit for managing with all your kids. It's amazing. Just hang in there. If you are not nursing then Xanax will be very helpful.Your doctor will give you all the info. Many people don't know about homeopathy or don't believe in it. But Xanax works. Goodluck with whatever you decide . I wish you well.

By Coopaveryben on Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

You know I wrote Zanex and thought hey that looks wierd and now I know why, "Xanax". My spelling is Atrocious, I blame it all on spell check.

By Pamt on Monday, March 15, 2004 - 08:27 pm:

Okay, I must say I am a bit incredulous right now. I am pro-CIO, but really that's irrelevant to what I find so dumbfounding...suggesting medication for mom so she can deal with a child's behavior. Do you know that Xanax is a schedule IV controlled substance? That it is an addictive psychotropic drug? Hmmm...better to medicate mom than have her do something like get a decent night's sleep?!

Yes, parenting is stressful and at times anxiety producing. I was pretty uptight today at my son's discipline issues posted on the main board. However, a frustrated mom does not an anxiety disorder make. And regardless, I'm sure that you could get a doctor to very easily write you a prescription, but that still doesn't mean you need anti-anxiety meds. I think the first order of business might be for you to try several nights of good sleep and then go from there before trying drugs.

CIO usually only lasts 3-5 nights. Both of my boys were breastfed (which "experts" say requires more frequent nighttime feedings) and they were both sleeping 6 hour stretches at 8-10 weeks (not crying it out at those young ages obviously). If you give your baby a good feeding at bedtime, he should be able to last 6-8 hours between feedings, but you will have to trust your mommy gut. Obviously during growth spurts, teething, etc. nighttime waking is more common and needs to be dealt with by feeding or comfort measures. But often it does become just a habit. I've posted many times over how we successfully let our boys CIO in 3 days time, so you can search the boards for that info. However, I strongly caution you against meds before trying sleep.

By Coopaveryben on Monday, March 15, 2004 - 08:59 pm:

I do know what Xanax is and I used to think that it was horrible to even think about but for me because I felt I should be able to handle these situations. But on a daily bases I was curled up on my bed crying. I would scream at the boys when they did something, that is when I decided I am not going to be one of those mothers and if it took medication to help me get through a rough spot so that they and myself had better days than that is what worked for me. It helped me to get in a spot where I could evaluate a situation better. I don't think it is something you should wake up and take everyday just because, but sometimes when a person is in the middle of a deep depression or hard time it does help to lift the clouds a little so that they can find their focus. No I don't think it is for everyone, but that is something you and your doctor should talk about.

By Momaroze on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 09:32 pm:

Hi again, I just wanted to respond to the postings. I am the sort of person that would rather deal with a headache than take tylenol or something to help. In this case my anxiety level does not seem to be lifting. I exercise, eat fairly well, take vitamins and evening primrose oil and zinc. Nothing, so far seems to be helping. I'm not irritable all of the time and can be quite relaxed it's just some days it can get pretty bad. It's not fair to my family. It's not fair to me, I feel awfully guilty if I yell at my children. I am going to the doctor and really think that an antianxiety may be in order here. Sometimes a little intervention using a drug is needed. I completely understand that a restful few nights would probably help alot. Unfortunatly I'm like Jodie. My husband works nights, all night and I have no family around. Maybe I do have postpartum? I don't think so...but maybe.I haven't tried chamomile tea or valerian tea. Maybe....it's worth a try although I dislike herbal teas I do need to find my focus,those are key words! If I do try an antianxiety I will certainly use it with caution and hopefully (knowing me) not often. I do have a doctors appt. coming up...

By Melana on Wednesday, March 17, 2004 - 12:36 am:

Ok, I am pro-antidepression/anxiety, only if it's needed. I have a 7 month old daugter, and by the way, SHE'S SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT NOW!!! YAY ME! I've been trying to find a Dr. since I moved out of CO as I have clinical depression, and maybe postpartum, I'm not sure. Medication DOES help, and is not in any way a BAD thing if you need it. A warning about anything antidepressant/anxiety, once you're on it if you want to get off of it again, make sure to wean yourself off, if you don't then your rebound anxiety/depression will seem about ten times worse than it was before, I speak from personal experience on this.

By Momaroze on Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 01:36 pm:

Has anyone ever heard of the antideppressant Welbutrin? I've checked all over the internet and cannot see that it would help anxiety. By the way my hair problem according to my Dr. is due to stress?

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 03:55 pm:

I've seen a commerical for it, the people in the commerical looked happy! I'm just kidding, I have seen it but don't know anything about it.

I am glad you found out what was wrong.