Crabby 6 year old
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004:
Crabby 6 year old
My DS is driving me INSANE. I am a pretty upbeat person and he is soooo grumpy. It seems to go in spells, he will be fine for a few weeks and then out of the blue he will turn on me for a week or so, he has done this to me since he was very small. He will puposely say things to try to get me angry and the worst is when I say something like, "we are going to the park" he throws himself on the floor, "no I'm not going". I could tell him we were going to Disney World and he would proceed to grumble and complain and tell me he's not going. If it were only him I would say fine just go to your room...but I have two more DS'S and they shouldn't have to stay home because of the one. When he goes through these spells he will constantly make noises...very loud ones, he will purposely be defiante (ie. please don't use that..he will eye ball me and pick it up and use whatever it was, to see what I will do). I don't allow him many sweets and he is not allowed to drink coke, most things he eats I make myself from scratch. Let me say this too, we are pretty strict with him because he is....hmmmm, how do I put this..strong willed and if I let him get away with anything it is worse the next time. He will tell you he should be in charge. I just can't take his meanness anymore. He is being great when he goes to school, I ask his teacher all the time...she says he is very well behaved, he pays attention, he uses good manners, he is nice to others, etc. When he is nice to me he is very nice. I just don't know how to handle this anymore, it feels like I am in a constant battle and like he "brings down" anything I try to do for them. Any suggestions on an appropriate response or discipline or if anything could be wrong?
I'm thinking it's his way of getting your undivided attention. It's possible that your 6 yr. old is just feeling that the other 2 children are getting more attention than he is. Naturally younger ones need more care. I have a six yr. old ds, since the baby was born he seems to "whine" and cry more than usual. This usually seems to be around the time that baby is most fussy which of course depletes me of time and energy for the others. My ds is also excellent in school (manners, sharing, etc..)I try to give it alot of thought as I'm sure you do...when they(ds) start to behave this way...I can usually pinpoint the problem to lack of attention. Sometimes, my ds does try to take control as well, as if he is trying to say I'm here and I am important. This is my story. I'm glad to hear that you did rule out any problems like "bullying" at school. My older child who is an honor student and very nice boy was acting out of character, it was because he was being harassed at school. Hope this helps some. P.s. also my 6yr. old ds. rides the school bus to school and back, I've had problems with the kids teasing him. Most times at his school the teachers are not aware of this. Being bullied can certainly get them or anyone to act out. I don't know if your ds rides a school bus, but if so...some food for thought.
Thank you for your advice, You know some of could be that he is needing some more attnetion, I used to be very sensitive to this and I guess I kind of forgot that he could still feel this way. I'm sure it is propelling along. We are going to go out tonight just the two of us. Thank you! But, he has also been this way since he began learning to express how he feels. It seems to cycle. I schelduled him for a blood test and a work over next week. Since the discussion on low iron I have been wondering if this could be a contributing factor. I have always had a problem with it and when it gets bad my eyes turn dark and I am sleepy. His eyes have been dark for the last week and he just looks exhausted, although he would never admit it. If he is sleepy he tends to act horrible too. I think he gets enought sleep, I put them to bed about 7:30 and he sleeps until around 7:00.
My 6yr old gets crabby right before she comes down with a full blown illness. I hope your ds is in a better mood today.
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