I am curious what your kids' schools do to help the children develop a strong moral character. What children do things that are completely age appropriate but still not okay, like tease another child, what steps does your school take to (1) teach the kids that it is not acceptable and (2) help give the victim the tools to deal with it. What kind of communication goes on between school and parents when situations arise?

We have an issue at our school that needs addressing, and I actually tried to explain it but it is much too long to really hold your interest. But we have a new principal at our school and she is meeting informally with a group of parents next week and this issue is going to be brought up by several parents who are struggling with it. I'd love to hear what you have found works well in your schools.

TIA!

By Pamt on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 12:57 pm:

Well, my kids go to a Christian school so this is being constantly addressed through chapel once a week, daily Bible lessons, plus they memorize a verse per week from K-5 (not sure about middle or high school). At the elementary age there is a lot of emphasis on how to treat others with kindness and respect. I also remember them doing a little once-a-week curriculum called "Manners of the Heart" when Adam was in 1st grade. Here's a link to that site (http://www.mannersoftheheart.com/home.html) and I don't know if it is a Christian-based curriculum or not. Problems are handled by the guidance counselor and the elementary disciplinarian (aka the vice-principal) and I don't know what kind of communication goes on between school and parent since I haven't *yet* had any problems with my boys, except for excessive talking in class. I requested a teacher conference myself to deal with that.

I will say that where Adam went to public school for kdg and 1/2 of 1st grade when we lived in MO that school was BIG on character development. There was a monthly assembly where a male/female "student of the month" was chosen and then awards for kindness, good sportmanship, encourager, most spirit, helpfulness, and good deed doer were given for each grade. Since there was only one class per grade, almost every child got an award (on stage in front of the whole school and with parents present) before the year was out. Because it was a small town, they also got their pics taken for the newspaper. This school was really big on catching kids doing good things and praising them for it. For the good deed award, every time a child did a good deed their name went into a jar...so the more deeds done, the more your name was in the jar. Then, the teacher drew a name to get that award for the month. The principal of this school also stood at the door and greeted each child by name EVERY morning. It was such a positive environment and I miss it dearly. HTH

By Pamt on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 01:09 pm:

Melanie, I just checked out that website and it is NOT Christian-based and appears to be used in a lot of public schools, esp. in the south where we take our manners pretty seriously Although the focus is on manners, it is via character development of understanding how we should treat others and how we want to be treated. Might be something worth looking into further. I do remember Adam coming home talking about what he had learned and telling me that the "Manners of the Heart" teacher had come to his class that day.

By Melanie on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 03:13 pm:

Pam, that helps a lot. Those were exactly the kinds of things I was hoping for. Something that focuses on the positive. I looked quickly so far at the Manners of the Heart website, and love what I see there. I even got excited for a moment when I saw that Jill was speaking at a conference center about 15 minutes from me (where I want to send dd to preschool actually!) until I realized I was looking at dates from 2003. LOL. I am going to look more at that and will probably print up some info to share with our new principal.

Thanks again. You have my wheels turning.

By Texannie on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 03:18 pm:

Our schools do a program similiar to Character First http://www.characterfirst.com/education/aboutus/character.htm

By Lauram on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 06:11 pm:

Ours does something called Responsive Classroom.

By Mommyathome on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 07:31 pm:

Our school has a list of "Rights" that each student automatically has when attending school. I don't know the exact wording or anything but it's similar to this:
I have the right to feel safe at school.
I have the right to attend school without being hit/kicked etc.
I have the right to attend school withough being called names/teased.
I have the right to ask questions if I don't understand something.
I have the right to express my opinion and emotions in an appropriate manner.

....It goes on and on. I think there are 15 or 20 different "Rights" on the list. There is a framed copy of this at each classroom door. If someone takes your rights away, there is a punishment policy that is enforced.

I like these "Rights" because it makes the kids feel very important. Instead of a big sign with "Rules" on it (don't hit, don't tease, and so on) it reverses it to the positive side. I think that little kids feel very important when they are told that they have all of these "Rights" when they are in attendance at school.

By Melanie on Thursday, February 19, 2004 - 07:50 pm:

These are all wonderful! Thank you so much. Robin, is it possible to find out all the rights that are listed? I love that. I don't know if the new principal already has this topic on her radar or not, but like I said I know it is going to come up and I really want to be able to throw out some ideas on how other schools address it. Right now there is no real policy that any parents know about and I think it's important that faculty and parents alike are on the same page with this stuff.

Thank you so much for telling me what your schools do. I have checked out the sites listed and even found the Responsive Classroom site. I'd love to see anything anyone else can offer as well. Thank you!

By Lauram on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 09:34 am:

I'm glad you found the site. I was going to look for it, but you beat me to it!

By Conni on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 09:56 am:

Our schools have a W.O.W. or Word Of The Week. Such as Responsible, Caring, etc... They discuss the word of the week in an assembly on Monday morning. They then discuss throughout the week during classtime. The students vote on a child from their class that they think has / or uses the word of the week qualities. (does that make sense?) The counselor also goes around to each class and discusses things with the students-- I dont know what they call that time tho and Bradley is still asleep. (or I would ask him)

By Melanie on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 10:35 am:

Conni, I read that suggestion on another site and really like it. Although your school goes further with it by voting on a child that used the word quality during the week-what a cool idea!

Thanks Laura. You gave me just the info I needed to find it with no problems!

By Mommyathome on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 11:51 am:

Sure Melanie! I'm the mother helper on Monday, so I will just ask to get a copy of the paper.

By Melanie on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 12:57 pm:

Thanks Robin! What I like about that is that it is very simple, yet it really just sets the tone for the classroom.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, February 20, 2004 - 08:53 pm:

One of my co-workers brought in a book today that her 2nd grade son's class had done. It cost $15, was hardbound, and was about Bullies. Each child did a drawing and wrote a few lines about how they deal with bullying.

I was delighted to see it, because bullying is such a difficult problem in schools and out, and so hard for children to deal with. I was pleased to see that most of the children in one way or another said they'd find an adult to help them.