Is this normal? She still wakes up crying for a cuppie. I refuse to give her a cuppie in the middle of the night so she will stand at my bed and scream until I put her in bed with us. Then she goes right to sleep. If I put her back in her bed she screams and comes back in my room. Even if I gave her a cuppie she would still scream. Ds started sleeping through the night around 9 months so I didn't have this problem.

By Mrse on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 07:50 pm:

I would say just be persistant on taking her back to her room, if it is only a few min, untill she comes out again, wait at the door, and put her back in bed. If you end up letting her sleep in your room, maybe the cuppie is only an excuse to sleep with you. Is it a sip cup? if it is maybe you could ween her off the cup, and drinks are only at the table. I think, the biggest thing about child rearing is make sure you back up what you say, boy have I learned that, 2 of my 3 are teenagers now, and once you are prone to giving in, it is so easy to let them have thier own way, really hard to deal with kids when they can read you like a book. They know your breaking point. My kids have actually told me that!!

By Jodie on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 08:12 pm:

I'm a little confused about "cuppie". If this is a sippy cup is it possible to leave it by her bedside so she has access to it.What if she is really thirsty? My DS just turned 2 as well and wakes up once for a drink of water.I mean he is really thirsty. He drinks 4-6 ounces at about 1.30 AM and doesn't pee till he wakes up and goes on the potty at 8.30 AM. That means he really needed that water especially when the heat is on in the cold months. We cosleep on a king bed and there is a sippy cup for him on the head board. He gets his own drink and goes back to sleep after putting the cup back. We don't even hear him anymore after we upgraded from a queen to a king size bed. He can drink from a regular cup but forgets to use both hands and needs reminders for that. So I just use the sippy cup at night to avoid being woken up with cold water on my face !

By Jodie on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 08:25 pm:

It's me again.I just remembered an article I read by Dr Sear's about waking up screaming - Do you think she has bad dreams and wakes up ? It seems kids at this age get those quite a bit and even night terrors sometimes.Is that why maybe she wants to stay with you even after you give her the cuppie? I personally find it hard to think/believe a child that young is capable of manipulating her parents especially when in a groggy and tired state in the middle of the night and maybe even a sacred state.Every kid is so different. Maybe your little girl just needs that extra cuddling to feel that extra bit content.

By Dananivyboo1 on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 08:50 pm:

My son almost 20 months is still waking up also, but when we really watched him he was walking in his sleep. He would talk and even try to wrestle his stuffed Hulk cause he goes to bed with it. I usually leave a sippy cup of water out cause I know I get thirsty so I can imagine he would too. He also goes through spurts where he wakes up with bad dreams also and we just put him in his bed and wait till he falls asleep.

I'm pretty used to it cause I'm not a heavy sleeper, but comforting and just keep strolling her back to her room is just the thign you have to do. So just have to say that I'm going through the same thing and hopefully it will get better soon

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 12:21 am:

When my oldest daughter was 2, she would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, but wouldn't really be awake. I would go hold her and sometimes bring her in bed with us. didn't need a drink or anything, would just be crying.

(Of course, after the younger child was sleeping through the night sometimes, older child would have night terrors on the nights the baby slept. If baby woke up, 2 yo would sleep through the night. I swear they had a conspiracy going for a while!)

By Eve on Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 10:31 am:

Oh boy, can I relate. What about giving her a cup with water at bedtime, like Jodie said. That's what my DD requests. I also find that if she is not wanting to go down and is starting to whine and cry, I start giving her a ZILLION choices, that all work for me and keep her in her room, and it diffuses the situation. "Do you want water with ice or no ice? Do you want the water in a sippy cup or a cup with a straw? Do you want to sleep with your cow or your horse? Do you want the door open or closed? Do you want the light on or off?" BTW-My DD is nearly 3 and we are trying to get her in her own bed again. LOL

I really think it depends on how uncomfortable you want to make her. (I just mean, she will protest!) You can try walking her back to her own room. With DD, we have just concentrated on getting her to go to sleep at first in her own room. She does wake and come in with us. A few times, we will go and lay back down with her if it's early in the evening. If it's 5 or 6am, then we let her come in to our bed. I've found that the time is getting later and later, and she stays in her room longer and longer. There is also a lot less crying now.

We tried the bringing her into her room crying, over and over, and over again and it just didn't work. (Ok, it may have worked, but she wore us down! It's tough!) Being consistant, though, is the key. I would really start a routine with her and start it long before you want her to sleep. The more relaxed and calm she is, the better.

Just stick with whatever you decide and it will get better. You are not alone, that's for sure!

By Insaneusmcwife on Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 11:13 am:

I will start putting a cuppie of water on her nightstand. She has a night light. Her brother is in the same room so I know its not that she is alone. Some nights she goes to bed just fine without a fight. I wouldn't mind her getting into bed with me so much if was just when dh wasn't home. He is only coming home on the weekends right now and it is really hard for us to have her in bed with us.

By Insaneusmcwife on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 10:03 am:

Giving her a cuppie didn't work. She just sat brought it into my bed and held it and cried.

By Jodie on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 04:55 am:

You also said she wakes up crying . Why does she wake up crying? As I posted above , is it a bad dream maybe? Is that what's scaring her maybe you think? Then once again maybe that's why she wants to be with you.
Also , at this age the communication may not be very good but understanding is very very good. Is it at all possible to establish a rule that she can only sleep with you when daddy is not home. If she is able to spend time with you as she needs ,I'm sure she'll understand the daddy rule and leave you guys alone.
I do a lot of the same thing with DS. Dr Sears calls it positive discipline. Instead of a total no , try partial yes and a firm no for the rest of the deal. With consistency the toddler will understand that rules are rules.The child's need to be clingy /attached needs to be satisfied in some way because there is always some reason for it.If you force it out now it will come back in another form is what I've read and experienced.
Ds seems to underestand when I'm real serious about issues and even tells everyone else "don't do " for all the stuff he's not allowed!Takes abit of time, some patience, a lot of whinning until it clicks but it will and once it does it'll stick. Toddlers just want immediate gratification. Even if it's only partial.
I'm not very good with words. I don't mean to confuse you more.It's hard for me to explain but I think there is a genuine reason behind your child's behavior which when addressed the behavior will be easier to modify. Dr Sears explains it so well. But then again you might not be a DR sears person. I'm a first time parent and his books have been a lifesaver.
I tried. Goodluck!

By Luvn29 on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 08:09 pm:

My little girl started having night terrors when she was just an infant. Of course, then I didn't realize what they were. She would wake up screaming and her eyes would be open but she couldn't be comforted.

I would just hold her and finally lull her back to sleep. This would go on for 45 minutes at a time.

She is seven and still has them sometimes and has all through her childhood. It was hardest when she was just a toddler because she would have a terrified look in her eyes and be crying for me and I would be holding her and she would still be looking and crying for me. It broke my heart.

After going through this sometimes every night, I became a softie. She was allowed into bed with me and things were a little better, though she still had them some. But she was just a child who needed to be with someone through the night. She is still very emotional and ends up in the room with me at times. She is seven now and sleeps in her own room, mostly without any problems.

But, my ds who is four is in bed with me now. My husband works nights and is only home on Sats and Suns nights so it's really not a problem for us.

Both of my kids at one time or other had a small plain toddler bed beside our bed or somewhere in our room that they felt very comfortable in, and it still gave my dh and me the cuddle time we wanted.

Is this an option, to have it available for when she needs it? Of course, it would probably escalate into an all the time thing if she got used to it.

I understand that some parents are not cosleeping parents, and that's okay. Sometimes I wish I weren't. It sure would be better sometimes.

But, I know ds will eventually get out of our bed into his own.

Point of post... try cuddling and understanding dd. Who knows what is upsetting her this badly in the middle of the night, and children's fears are very real and very scary to them. Just think of how we feel when we hear that mysterious bump in the night and our heart starts racing and we are adults.

Hope things work out with dd. She may just need some extra comforting at night for a little while.

Good luck!

By Insaneusmcwife on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 12:12 pm:

Well dh was home tonight and she didn't come into our room. About 3 a.m. I got up to check on her and she was fast asleep in ds bed. I think maybe she does just need to be next to someone. I don't know that I like the idea of her being in ds bed though. They have the 3/4 height bunkbeds. She slept by the wall but I don't know if she would be able to get down safely in the middle of the night if she needed to. Dh says I worry to much.

By Amyk on Saturday, February 7, 2004 - 02:11 pm:

Check out "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley... it has some good suggestions for toddlers!