DD(will be 3 on March 1st) has been on and off sitting on the potty for what seems like forever. I never push her, but I do try to ask her if she wants to sit on her potty. Still, no real progress with her. Again, I'm not pushing her, but I would love some more ideas to make it more fun.

We have tried sticker charts and she has no interest in them. We've tried all out bribery and that works for only a short time.

Yesterday, she wanted to wear Snow White underwear. PROBLEM: She holds it and won't pee while in underwear. All morning, she didn't go and no accidents all through lunch. It was time for her nap and I asked her if she would sit on the potty and try again. She did and just wouldn't go. So, I put a pull up on over her undies for nap and sure enough she went during her nap. She got up and again wanted undies. No problem. Again, didn't go and didn't go....all through dinner time. (I even brought the potty into the kitchen!) Finally I started to hang some laundry around 7pm. I knew she had to go, but she would NOT go on the potty. Finally, she went into my closet and she stood there and peed all over my clothes! AGGH!!!! She said "I peed Mom. See." I had to go get my DH, so he could handle it. I didn't want to get upset with her. I know this is part of potty training.

Now, today. She wants a diaper. She won't sit on the potty. BUT, she wants to read her Potty book over and over. So, I think it's on her mind, but she doesn't want to have an accident.

Any advice? Of course I don't want to pressure her. My only thought is to buy another potty chair and wrap it up for her like in her book. (She's big into wrapping gifts! She wraps stuff up in toilet paper and gives it to us. )

Ok, my question turned into a vent. Sorry! I'd love any ideas you all have. Thanks!

By Momoffour on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 09:32 am:

Eve, I am going throught the same thing right now. I have a 2 1/2 year old girla and she wont go for nothing on the potty. I can also put undies on her and she wont go all day and she waits until I put a diaper on her or she will get a diaper and have her twin brother put it on her. I had no problem potty training him he was easy. We even tried a sucker everytime she would go but that didn't work she wont even go. She loves babies so I thought I would go get some little dolls and try that. I don't know what to do. I am ready to not to have to buy diapers. Good luck .

By Debbie on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 09:35 am:

Eve, my ds is 3-1/2 and I am going through the same thing. He is physically reading, but for some reason, not mentaley. He knows when he has to go and will tell me. He will come to me and ask for a diaper change as soon as he goes. However, if I put him in underwear he will just hold it, just like Sydney. My ds will sit on the potty some days and others he won't. He has never actually gone in it. I have tried several different things and nothing seems to interest him. Finally, last week I sat and talked with him. I told him that he is getting so big and I know he can use the potty. Now, he just needs to decide that he can. I just ask him each morning if he wants to wear underwear or diaper. I don't say ANYTHING else about potty training or wearing underwear. I know that one of these days he will say underwear. I am just hoping it is sooner rather than later. I took this approach with my other ds when he was around 3 and not potty trained. My pediatrician actually recommended it. I think I asked him this question every morning for about a month. I had just about given up when one day he said underwear. I have to say once he made up his mine, it was very easy.

Hope this helps a little. Hang in there. I think potty training is the worst milestone to get past.

By Trisa on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 09:55 am:

My son was not trained till he was 3 1/2.
My dd was trained before she was 2. Its funny how one will can be trained so easy and the other not.
Have you ever heard of the once upon a potty movies? They are a fun way to make the potty thing look like a fun thing to do. My son just all the sudden told me he had to go. And after that he was trained. I was funny because I had worked on it for sooo long then just out of the blue he decided it was time. Yes potty training Is the worst milestone to get passed! I would get upset with people who acted mad that at 3 my son was not trained yet. You can not make a kid go potty.

By Eve on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 10:15 am:

Thanks, everyone

I just can't figure out why she knows not to go in the underwear. She has gone on the potty many times, but I can't get her to do it all together. Last week, she wouldn't sit for a diaper change. I took the diaper off and she didn't want to put another one on. So, I said "No problem. Mommy is getting in the shower. I'm sure you can figure out where to put the pee if you have to go." Sure enough, she starts yelling "I need a diaper! I need a diaper!" I told her to go to the potty and she did. She came running into the bathroom saying "I went pee in the potty! I went pee in the potty!" I said "I knew you could figure it out, honey!" If only everyday could go that well. So frusterating!

By Trisa on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 10:24 am:

Ya know everything happens when we are TRYING to take a shower!! lol She is on her way!!

By Truestori on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 11:19 am:

Eve,
It's only a matter of time. From everything you have explained it seems like she knows where she is suppose to go and where she isn't.
Both of my kids potty trained fairly easily, but I dedicated a whole week to nakedness if you will..LOL
They didn't wear undies or diapers they were in the nude. So I knew exactly when and where they went and I could redirect them to the toilet.
My neighbor thought I was nuts until she had had enough. She tried the nakedness with both her boys 2 & 3 and now they are both potty trained!
With my son I didn't even use a potty chair he was trained to go in "mommy and daddy's" toilet from the beginning. I hated scrubbing out a nasty little bucket, so I changed my routine after my daughter..lol
Goodluck!

By Mommyathome on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 12:09 pm:

What if you "run out of diapers"? Would she buy that? If you didn't have any diapers and the stores are closed for the day then maybe she would realize that she HAS to go on the potty because there are no more diapers.

Just a thought We are just starting in on potty training with my 2 year old. I can already see it's going to be difficult with him. Good luck!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 02:42 pm:

Once my childless SIl asked me why didn't I put Emily on the potty chair when I could tell she was pooping. So, one day I did. Of course, nothing happened and she pooped after the diaper was back on! LOL! I knew it wouldn't work.

When I took Emily in for her 2 year check-up, the doctor said, well, you got one potty-trained, you should know what to do with this one! LOL! I thought, like hell I do! LOL!

She was 3-1/2 when it all finally clicked. It went fast, once she wanted to.

By Eve on Friday, January 23, 2004 - 10:23 am:

I might try the "running out of diapers" idea! I'll give anything a shot. Thanks.

She did go last night, but I bribed her with chocolate. I guess I need to lay off. She may just not be ready.

Thanks again for all the input.

By Kaye on Saturday, January 24, 2004 - 12:22 am:

Personally I think you have to decide what you want. She obviously can and chooses not too. So you can decide to give her time, if that is the case, completely back off, don't say a thing and give her at least 2 weeks to a month before you say ANYTHING. Or decide that you are ready for this to be over and just do it. I know that sounds harsh. My first two kids were easy to train, my dd all but did it herself very young. But my last kid..boy was he tough. I kept reading all this stuff, researching options, bribing and struggling. He was over 3 and well aware. Well one more i just snapped...long story, but it was my third time in a matter of days to have poop all over his room. So I just took every diaper we had and threw them away and said "buddy guess what you are a big boy and I am not wasting my money and time on this anymore, you will use the potty". Yes he held it and he had a few accidents. But when I knew he needed to go, I made him stay in the bathroom for a very very very long time. I held him on the potty, I read books and tried to be entertaining. Simply stated I was very firm and we made it happen. Not nice, but within two days he was done. There are times in our lives that as a parent we have to stand up and be the one in charge, and I was there with this. Anyway, that being said, think about how you are feeling about this and then try to act accordingly. I think often it is so hard to teach kids when we aren't quite sure how we feel. Eventually all kids will potty train, some sooner, some later,

By Mommyathome on Saturday, January 24, 2004 - 12:12 pm:

Kaye, I think you have a good point. We were the same way with our girls. They were very aware of what was going on and they were more than mature enough to be trained. It took just a couple of days to get it done. I had had enough of the poopy diapers. I told them how it would be and they complied. We haven't had any problems at all with bed wetting or accidents. And, like you said, eventually all kids will potty train.....so in the end, whichever method you use will eventually work.

BTW Eve, did you "run out of diapers" yet? ;)

By Jtw on Sunday, January 25, 2004 - 05:20 pm:

I went throught this with my son for months. He will be four in March. I knew he could do it, but he just would not! I kept telling him that he should use the potty, but to no avail! So I decided to lay off for a while. Then one day, a few weeks before Christmas, he just all of a sudden said, "Mom, I want some Scooby Doo underwear." So I said, "Well, if I get you some you have to pee and poop on the potty, and not in your undies." He said okay, so we went to Target and bought some, and he's only had a couple of accidents. Personally, after my experience, I think it is best to let your child know it is there, and they will decide to do it when they want to. We all know that kids are less likely to do something if you want them to, so sometimes I think not doing it is their way of controlling something in their life. For my daughter, who will be three in March, I am going to try the same approach. Hopefully it will work. I think there is more success when they decide to do it, rather than when we want them too. I know every child is different, but I hope this advice helps.

By Eve on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 02:46 pm:

Nope, we have not tried the running out of diapers yet. We were traveling this weekend, so I thought I would wait and see. I'm catching up on housework, so hopefully I can try a no diaper day.

Kaye-thanks for your input. I guess I feel like I can't make her. I'm going to let her lead. (Not to say I won't be feeling this way in a few months.)

Jeannie, I agree with you about control! That's exactly why I am not going to force her. I give her lots of choices daily to make her feel like she is in control of the situation. I think I am going to back off a bit and then try again. I notice she is really resisting, so I know I need to share some more control.

Thanks again everyone! I'll keep you posted.

By Debbie on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 04:33 pm:

Eve, since I have backed off, I noticed ds has been reading his potty books every day. Yesterday he told me that as soon as he is better(he has a cold) that "he thinks he can do this potty thing". He has been checking out his underwear too.

I would be careful about trying to force the issue. It can lead to serious withholding and constipation which will just make the process take longer.

By Debbie on Monday, January 26, 2004 - 04:33 pm:

Eve, since I have backed off, I noticed ds has been reading his potty books every day. Yesterday he told me that as soon as he is better(he has a cold) that "he thinks he can do this potty thing". He has been checking out his underwear too.

I would be careful about trying to force the issue. It can lead to serious withholding and constipation which will just make the process take longer.