I need some help, my son will be three on Feburary 9th. He LIVES on pizza and chicken nuggets, he will eat a couple of cereals and some cheese but that is it. I've talked to my pediatrician and she says to offer him the food we eat and if he doesn't eat he doesn't eat. Well that is SO HARD, I know he has to be hungry at times...

The thing that is so frustrating is that he won't even try them, he looks at it and refuses to even try it. Mealtimes are dreaded because of the fight and I'm at my wits end with him on this. He won't even eat the normal "kid type" items (grilled cheese, mac and cheese, etc) all he wants is chicken nuggets and pizza.

Anyone else ever gone through this, dealing with this? Have any insight, suggestions, or help I'd appreciate it because I'm just lost!

TIA,
Christy

By Gammiejoan on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 11:40 pm:

Christy, I can totally relate. My younger grandson will be three in June, and he eats hardly anything. He stays with me during the day while his parents work, and I get very frustrated at times trying to find something that he will eat. I have spoken with other people who have children about his age and have decided that this is fairly common. The strange thing about my grandson is that he seemed to be a very good eater when he first started solid food. Over the course of the past year or so, though, it seems that he has become pickier and pickier regarding what he will eat. It will just make things worse if you turn mealtime into a battle with your ds. Just continue to offer him a small amount of some of the things the rest of the family is eating. Does your ds drink milk, and does he like any fruits? My gs will try a little fruit but absolutely refuses any vegetables. He will eat a little cereal and occasionally a small pancake. He has always drunk milk well but now refuses it unless I put some chocolate or strawberry syrup in it. I have tried limiting the amount of milk he gets, but he still doesn't eat any better. At times I buy some strawberry Ensure or Boost and mix a few ounces of it with a few ounces of milk so that he can get the vitamins and minerals. People keep telling me that his eating habits will improve. In the meantime I am just letting him eat what he will and offering him a teaspoon or two of the things my dh and I are eating. In just the past couple of weeks, my gs has started eating a few peanuts. Anytime he will try anything new even if it is a very small amount, I am very pleased.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, January 11, 2004 - 11:56 pm:

My kids both went through a stage where it seemed like they were living on air, because they sure weren't eating much food. They both eat better now at 11 and 14.

By Jackie on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 06:26 am:

My daughter is 4 and still is a VERY picky eater. She wont even eat chicken nuggests. Will only eat pizza if there is no sauce on it, basically like cheese bread. She eats yogurt sometimes, will eat cheese, she will eat the white part only of an hard boiled egg, and she loves noodles any kind only plan though. We dont force her to eat, we also dont give her many goodies either so shes not filling up on junk. She rather not eat most days.
And she wont try anything new, or old. I always have a big bowl of noodles or mac and cheese in the fridge. We always give her a few bites of what we are having, chicken, meat etc.. she hands it back to us. So most nights she ends up with her noodles and cheese. We try, but we wont make eating a battle here. I know some parents dont agree with making something dift for the children. But, here we always have her stuff on hand and we offer other stuff, thats all we can do with out forcing the issue.
Oh she does love her milk still, not choclate but white milk, which is a good thing.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 07:19 am:

My DD is 5 and is still like that. We basically do what your ped. recommended. If she doesn't like what we're having for a meal I do NOT make something else for her. Yes it's hard but I'm not running a short order restaurant. Catering to their wishes only makes them more picky. Don't worry, they won't starve themselves. Continue to offer healthy snacks and meals and let the stress and worry go. Your DS may surprise you and actually eat better if you take the pressure off. BTDT

A good article...

My child hardly ever eats but seems to be growing fine. Should I worry?

How to get your children to eat more healthy food

By Eve on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 08:48 am:

My DD will be 3 on March 1st, and is this way. She is getting better though. She goes through stages. I find the less we say, the better she is. Which is SOOO hard. Last night, DH reminded me before we sat down for dinner not to open my mouth. LOL!

The part time Pediatrician in my DD's Dr.'s office said to always offer new things, but always have one thing they like on the plate.(One familiar item) So, last night, I served what we were having, but I also served her a steamed hot dog. She took 2 bites of the new pasta we were trying, so I was pleased. That seems to work for us.

For lunch time, I fix her what she wants. I will sometimes have something that is not kid friendly, like a steamed artichoke. So, I can't always fix her what we are having. If I make one thing, and she asks for another, I don't make it. I will, however, give her yogurt or something ready made for a snack if she eats some of what is on her plate and then asks for it later. My biggest challenge is just not saying anything and making it a big deal of it. She does sit down with us, and we try to offer healthy snacks throughout the day.

My DD loves dip! So, I try to offer Hummus with pita bread cut into chip size bites. Or fresh veggies with either a yogurt or ranch dip. She ALWAYS eats fruit if I sit down and start cutting it up. She loves red grapefruit if you cut it out of the pithy part.

Just keep offering. It is tough sometimes, I know!

(BTW-My DD could live on milk too. I found she was filling up on milk. So, when she is starting to not eat, I cut back on the milk, and she eats!)

By Anonymous on Monday, January 12, 2004 - 11:18 pm:

I have five children,aged 3,5,7,9, and 12 and am not a short-order cook.If you let a 3 year old control you you are in trouble,,,you are the adult here! You say this is what we are having for supper and if you don't like it there is nothing else until breakfast and you stick to your word.You have to establish this young in life...from the beginning...you have left it quite late so you will have a harder time.It will not be easy for you as he is quite spoiled by you by then,after you catering to him...you will get a controlling child out of the deal is you don't nip this in the bud now.I have friends with children like that and I will not put up with taht behaviour at my house...they start the whiny baby stuff"I don't like it" and I say:"wellmif you don't eat that when the other children are having cookies afterwards you won't be"...simple,eat the sweets right in his face and you see he will smarten up within a few days...it always works for me,my kids will eat anything because I will not put up with this nonsense.Chicken nuggets are really bad for him to begin with...all processed foods are a future heart-attack,and tons of other dieases in the making...eating healthier as a family needs to be the first step...all processed foods in the garbage and you will feel a lot better...believe me,we got rid of all garbage in March and everyone around here is a lot healthier...I have lost 95 pounds and my husband has lost 25 but I decided I had fed them too many fats and processed items and we would stop buying them.Good luck!!Stick to your guns,do it now before you have him trying to control you in other ways as well...a three-year-old shouldn't be allowed to control you.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 05:55 am:

Anon - this is not a proper use of the "anonymous" privilege. If you are a new member, please review the Posting Guidelines about the use of anonymous. The anonymous function is reserved for posting on sensitive issues.

You may have been misled by the frequent use of anonymous in the recent Secret Santa event, which is (a) an exception to the rules on use of anonymous and (b) not a Momsview sponsored event although we do provide boardroom for those members who choose to participate.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 06:09 am:

Your pediatrician said it - offer the foods you eat and if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. (Of course, if you are eating something not child-friendly, like stuffed artichokes, you can offer a healthful alternative as long as it isn't chicken nuggets or pizza.) I remember the pediatrician saying something similar about my oldest when he was about 2-1/2. The pediatrician was right. We had about a week of him not eating breakfast, picking at and eating a few bites of lunch, and eating most of supper - no snacks, no treats, no extra glasses of milk. At the end of a week or ten days, he was eating most of everything served him at every meal. He became the most adventurous eater of my three, willing to try everything, even things I wouldn't dream of eating (like brains). My pediatrician said no child will voluntarily starve - when he gets hungry he will eat.

Don't make a fuss, don't coax, don't try to encourage him to eat. Put the meal on his plate and if he asks for the things he prefers, tell him that this is dinner, you can eat it or not but there will be nothing else, and stick to it. If your pediatrician said it, s/he believes that your child is not at risk for missing a few meals. If your son fusses, don't fuss back, don't scold or even discuss it any further. If he doesn't eat, dinner is over and he can leave the table. No snacks, healthful or otherwise, and don't let him load up on milk. After the glass of milk with each meal, he can drink water when he is thirsty - otherwise he is filling up on milk which will relieve the hunger and not encourage him to eat at the next meal.

While the child may eat and it will save battles if you give the child what s/he wants, you are (a) risking malnutrition from such an unvaried and generally unhealthy diet, and (b) you are reinforcing very bad habits. For your child's sake, follow the pediatrician's advice.

If you stick to your guns your child will learn that you mean what you say and that you keep your promises (a threat is really a promise, you know). If you don't, your child will learn that he can manipulate you and disobey you without consequences, and that you do not stick to what you said - not very good lessons.

By Debbie on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 08:36 am:

Well, I am kind of in a different situation because my 3-1/2 yr old ds had problems with acid reflux last year. He had trigger foods that would make him sick and vomit. He got to were he wasn't eating much of anything until they got him diagnosed and on medication. He is now really picky and doesn't like to try new things.

I don't have any problems at breakfast or lunch. My dks eat a wide variety of healthy items at these meals. My problem is dinner. I am a lot like Eve. I always make at least one thing that my dks like to eat and then I try and get them to at least try the other things. My 5-1/2 year old ds was picky, with this method, he is eating a wide variety of foods now. He will always try the new things. I try not to make a big deal about it and I don't force him to eat anything. Hey, I am an adult and there are some things that I just don't like. I do make something else for my dks if we are having something that is not kid friendly and I know they won't eat. My 3-1/2 yr. old is getting better as he realizes that things won't make him sick anymore. But we still have a long way to go with him.

I just try not to make an issue at of it. I think that is when you run into problems. I also don't force my dks to eat things or use dessert as a punishment. My pediatricain said at this young age to try and not look at what they are eating in a day, but what they are eating over a week. Is it generally healthy with some variety.

I will say that I was really shocked at an article in our paper that said 60% of kids eat fast food at least once a day!!!! Wow, my dks only get fast food about once or twice a month.

Oh...you can make chicken nuggets yourself, so they are healthy. Just cut up chicken breast, coat with egg, batter and then bake them in the oven. We also make our own pizza.

Hang in there This seems to be a stage that most children go through.

By Kate on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 09:21 am:

I make whatever anyone wants, ala short order cook. It works for my family and in this day of microwaves, freezers, toaster ovens, etc. it's not a big deal to me. We sit down as a family and eat together, and that's the main thing. When the girls are somewhere else and confronted with foods they don't care for, they don't fuss. They simply eat whatever they can palate and if they're still hungry they eat again when they get home.

Anon, were you trying to be helpful, or judgemental?

By Christylee on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 10:22 am:

Thank you guys for most of the comments, I have started in just letting him eat what he wants off of his plate and then that's it. So far no progress but we will see it's only been a few days. I've only been giving him a cup of juice in between meals and the rest of the time he can have water. (Helps in the potty training too!)

I think alot of our problems are that I leave everyday at 4:30 to go to school and it is left up to DH to feed him dinner, not alot I can do to change this situation but I'm going to make a better effort at lunchtime and start buying better things for him to cook dinner.

Kate -- my son is like your girls he doesn't throw a fit, he just doesn't eat it.

Christy

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 11:38 am:

Debbie and others whose children have medical conditions affecting their eating - that's a whole different story. But Cristylee said her pediatrician said to offer what the family is eating and "if he doesn't eat he doesn't eat". I agree, absolutely, that GERD and other conditions change the whole scenario.

By Tonya on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 04:19 pm:

With Timmy was you eat it or starve. I mean hey he is not the only one in the house who is hungry. If it is something unique like Eve said then yes offer something different. But if it a normal dinner you eat or go to bed hungry. I bet the next day you are happy to eat what you are given or go hungry again.

By Miki on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 10:45 am:

My soon-to-be 3 year old is on a cereal kick. It's about all I can get her to eat. When we eat dinner, most of the time she says she wants cereal.
I usually tell her she has to have just 1 bite of everything I'm serving, and if she still wants cereal, she can have it.
I never force her to eat, but sometimes I'll say, "You can be done when you eat 4 more bites." Sometimes she forgets and just keeps on eating. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does.
Veggies is the hard thing. She won't touch peas, green beans, tomatoes (fruit I know). She'll eat corn sometimes, and one piece of broccoli but that's it. She's definitely not getting her 5 servings! I'll substitute fruit servings whenver I can (sliced fruit, or applesauce, cranberry sauce).
My other 2 daughters did the same thing, except it was mac and cheese. They're now 8 and 10 and they eat fine.

By Arnion on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 07:51 am:

Years ago, a woman told me that her 2½ year old son would only eat pickles and potato chips. I asked her where he got them, and she had to admit that she gave them to him. :-) In some other countries, tiny children only eat a bowl of mush each day.

Children will eat whatever we give them, so we should only give them things we want them to eat. Any child who knows they will get their preference if they hold out long enough will go to whatever lengths it takes. They are much smarter than we give them credit for! :-)

I also know that most 3 year olds will eagerly eat almost anything on my plate, but not their own. LOL

Anonymous with 5 children and I with 7 could never make separate, individual dinners for each child! We don't know how many children Kate has because she put X's in place of the "required" information in her profile! My mother had only 2 children, and she let me eat peanut butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for years! I am healthy, by the way. LOL I was also a rebellious monster child - worse than any I've ever seen!

I think it's optional, and that parents have the right to choose! I have also learned that children hunger for different food groups in cycles - they will eventually devour all of them during childhood. :-)

I firmly believe that the child's health will alert the parent to change their diet when necessary, and I also believe that the more we correctly exercise our authority, the better their behavior will be, generally speaking. :-)

Anarchy doesn't work any better in a family than it does in a country. :-)

By Robin on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 11:59 am:

I was a picky eater as a child but my mother made her dinner and there were no other options. I had to sit at the table for at least a half hour after the others had left. But still I ate what I wanted and that was it. I do give my mother credit for not catering to me AND now I love everything. Give me vegetables, fruit, fish, meat. I will try anything accept pudding or puddinglike consistencies.

Now, the payback. My dd is a really picky eater. She eats one waffle for breakfast and all her other meals are Mac and cheese. She drinks milk and orange juice by the gallons. She doesn't like snack foods such as chips, is not a dessert or sweet eater. Her weight and health are excellent. My doctor says not to worry too much as long as she is "regular" which she is.

I wish I had done it my mom's way, but I am not going to say it is too late, instead, I am working (slowly) on having her try things.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 03:19 pm:

When my sisters were older and didn't want to eat what my mom made, they were welcome to make their own grilled cheese sandwich! LOL! That never worked for me, though. I ate everything my mom put in front of me.

The only thing I remember having trouble eating as a kid was some oatmeal made with Carnation Instant milk! Yuck! We must have been out of regular milk or something. I even remember my mom saying I could have a Thin Mint girl scout cookie when I was finished. I must have finally choked it down. I can't remember any more. I must have gotten the Girl Scout cookie! I'm still not a picky eater, although, I'm not real fond of olives. I have one kid who is adventurous and one who really isn't. They have never been as picky as the daughters of my friend! Those kids would have driven me nuts.