As most of you know my daughter is still small, 7 months old to be exact, and people have been telling me lately that she has me wrapped around her finger. Example: we were over my family's house and I handed her to my cousin and Sarah started SCREAMING her head off, tears and the works. It seems like everytime I hand her to anyone she does the same thing. Is this normal? Is she "training" me? I don't want to neglect her but it bothers me when other people say these things because it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. How can I break her of this habit? Any advice is appreciated.

By Sunny on Saturday, January 3, 2004 - 07:04 pm:

It sounds to me like she's starting to go through separation or stranger anxiety. It usually begins around this age. How often does she see your family? It is a stage they go through and not habit.
This is a link to Separation anxiety, and this was taken about stranger anxiety:
An infant learns to recognize her parents within the first few months of birth by sight, sound, and even smell. Up until six months, a baby will usually seem interested in other adults as well, engaging in games such as peek-a-boo. After six months, many babies undergo a period of fear and unhappiness around anyone except their parents. The child may burst into tears if an unknown person makes eye contact or shriek if left even momentarily in the care of an unfamiliar person. This stranger anxiety is a normal part of a child's cognitive development ; the baby has learned to differentiate her caretakers from other people and exhibits her strong preference for familiar faces. Stranger anxiety begins around eight or nine months and generally lasts into the child's second year.

Stranger anxiety can be upsetting to friends and relatives, who may feel rebuffed by a suddenly shy child. The baby may reject a babysitter she was previously comfortable with or grow hysterical when relatives visit. It can also be a trying time for the child's parents; the baby may reject the parent who is not the principal caregiver . Furthermore, the child may be particularly upset around people who look different to her--perhaps people with glasses, men with beards, or people of an unfamiliar skin tone. Parents should respect the child's fear as much as possible, and allow her to approach people as she is able. Extra time should be spent with the child when dropping her off at a babysitter or relative's house. The new face should be introduced slowly. If the child does not want to be hugged by or sit with a relative, it is unwise to force her. Eventually the child will outgrow his fear, and may become more sociable later.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, January 3, 2004 - 07:29 pm:

NO, she's not wrapping you around her finger and you're not doing anything wrong! As Sunny stated above, it's a perfectly normal developmental stage called separation anxiety. Most babies go through this, some more so than others.

Another article here:
Separation Anxiety - Babycenter.com

By Lauram on Saturday, January 3, 2004 - 07:41 pm:

She's screaming because she's afraid not because she's manipulating! That doesnt start until much later....

By Boxzgrl on Saturday, January 3, 2004 - 08:45 pm:

Tracie, Kaitlyn does the same thing lately, even to DH. The Dr. says its completely normal, just a stage. I kinda like it though. Especially when people I dont particularly (sp?) like want to hold her and she bawls. Enjoy it now because sometimes it doesnt last too long.

P.S. Any teeth yet?

By Mommyathome on Sunday, January 4, 2004 - 12:33 am:

Ditto Trina!
And, like Melissa said...enjoy it In a few months you'll be wishing she wanted you more. She'll grow up so fast and become so busy in her own little world that you'll wish she "wanted you" more often.

Completely normal Don't let other people make you feel like you are doing something wrong. They just say that because they feel bad that she won't go to them!

(((((hugs)))))

By Paulas on Sunday, January 4, 2004 - 02:40 am:

My dd had stranger anxiety at around 9 months. For her, it was limited to anyone with facial hair, for some reason. Luckily, Christmas was over before this started lol.

Don't worry about what other people think and say. She's your duaghter and you know what is best for her.

By Newbabysarah on Sunday, January 4, 2004 - 08:49 am:

Thanks to everyone who posted. I feel so much better now. Melissa, nope no teeth yet. What's up with that? I can't for the life of me figure of why she has no teeth yet. Sarah does the same thing with my dh. She likes him but if she sees me she cries and puts her arms out towards me. From now on I am going to do what everyone here says, just love her up and enjoy it while it lasts. I appreciate the hugs!