Our family is facing a real big issues. My Husband has lost the job and he blamed me for that infront of my kids. My two kids love my husband and now he is too far away from them. He goes out and come late in the night. My kids ask for him and I have to tell lies to them. When he comes he wont come to bed he sleeps in the other room and in the early morning my two kids go after seeking him. I'm a working mother and they are staying with my mother and the servant. They need love and protection but my servent and mother always shout at them. Now with this new problem of my husband and the home condition my two kids do not like to stay at home. Every time they asking me to take them out. Christmas they love to go shopping but my husband say to my kids "b'cos of your mother I lost my job" and my kids are just 5 and 3 years they are asking me whether it is true. Actually I am to be blamed for this. Because of my hot temper I hit the receptionist of his office when I found out that he is having an affair with her. Any how now I'm regretting that whole thing because now I have lost him. But I want to live for my two kids and I want them to be happy. Please I need your advise, help and prayers to overcome this problem. My Husband is a catholic person but he is not believeing in God. Therefore I need your help and prayers for my kids and my family.

By Feona on Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 07:37 am:

I see this is a complicated situation by the pray board post.

If there is physical violence then your husband need to move out of the house before he hurts or kills you or the kids.

Prayers for your families peace and health.
I edited the message after I read the prayer board.

By My2girlygirls on Thursday, December 11, 2003 - 08:08 am:

How can you say that it is "your fault" Yes, you hit the receptionist but only BECAUSE he was having an affair with her. That is not your fault. I agree with Feona, you need to get him completely out if that house. He is mentally abusing you and your children. I hope you seek some outside help in this matter. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

By Bobbie on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 12:09 am:

Rajini first of all Welcome to the group. And I thing it is really cool that you are from Sri Lanka. The internet amazes me sometimes.

Rajini, You are not at fault for hitting his mistress. Is he physically violent? Hitting you? I wish I knew more about Sri Lanka and your customs. Here in the state the first thing that would commonly happen would be him leaving the house. He is what is seen as a physical threat. And seeings that he was having an affair and is now mad because you did something about it and is using his anger about this to hurt you shows that he is emotionally abusive. That is another reason why in the states he would be out of the house. And the fact that your mom and your servant (not many people have servant's in the states) are mean to your children is just wrong. So what commonly happens over there in Sri Lanka when something like this happens to their family??? Here like I said he would be moved out of the house or you would. And chances are divorce papers would be filed and the marraige would be over. But I don't know the feelings on affairs are over there. I don't know if you all divorce or if it is against your beliefs. I wish I could be of more help to you. But maybe you can give us some more information on your customs and tradiations and the common way these things are handled there. I wouldn't want to suggest something to you that might get you hurt or in more trouble than you already are.....

And you have all my prayers that things can be worked out and that you all stay safe...

There is another place on this site called General Discussion (scroll the page back to the top, on your left hand side it says Discussion
click your mouse on Topics then on General discussion when the next page loads it works the same as this area does) you might want to ask about this there. That board gets a lot more people and you might be able to get more suggestions and I know a lot more prayers...


BIG HUGS TO YOU Rajini!!!

By Melissa on Friday, December 12, 2003 - 06:18 am:

I am sorry for what you are going through and I think you definately have some issues with your husband- but I disagree with other people who have said you are not at fault for hitting the receptionist, you are responsible for your behavior and assaulting others isn't acceptable.
I don't think your husband should blame you for losing his job though, here in the states anyway, if he was her supervisor he would be fired for having the relationship in the first place. I think it is hard for us to give you advice b/c of the differences in culture and laws from the US to where you are. I think you should see a counselor to help you decide what you want and how to best help your children, but I don't know if that is as common where you are as it is here. Good luck and while we can't give you good advice I'm sure we all send you good wishes.

By Mommymindy on Saturday, December 13, 2003 - 11:40 am:

I agree with Melissa that you are responsible for your actions, but the whole thing cannot possibly be your fault for hitting the woman who was sleeping with your husband!!!

By Rajini on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 10:14 pm:

Thank you for all your replies and prayers. In our culture it is very difficult to get a divorce and when there is a seperation they always think it is women's fault. Any how our family is not thingking like that. My brother and sister wanted me to think about two kids and to put our family right. I know I'm responsible for my action. Why I hit that women was she called me "Bitch" and she told me I'm a shameless women coming behind my husband when he does not want me. Thats why I got realy angry. I loved my husband till yesterday. And everything changed when I saw a message in his mobile sent by this women again saying how much she love him and how she wants to be with him.

I now know that I have to let him go. But how can I explaine this to my two kids? they are still too small. I realy hate him for what he is doing to me and kids. I feel like going away from everything. Now my brother and sister want me to take a decision about getting seprated. They feel sorry for my kids. I'm still 28 years old. I got married very young. Tell me how to forget him and live alone. I have a good job. But I realy do not know how to live without him. Please help me.

Thank you

By Dananivyboo1 on Sunday, December 14, 2003 - 10:28 pm:

Hi Rajini! I want to say that my prayers are with you and that you along with any other woman in this world can be strong and overcome anything. In my opinion it will be hard to forget him because you will see him in your kids for the rest of your life. What would be better is to learn to live for your kids and yourself. Happiness is a much better solution to anything.
Hugs to you!

By Rajini on Tuesday, December 16, 2003 - 08:55 pm:

My husband former office has called him again to work there. He did not tell me that but anyhow I got to know. He seems to be happy. But he has started the affair again. I thout I will not ask him anything and I will live my life for my kids. I would like to thank every one for your prayers towards us. Atleast now he has a job he will stop blaming me. I want to be happy in my life. I'm trying my best to be happy with my two kids.

By Bobbie on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 - 12:12 am:

Rajini, I am sorry you are going through so much pain. I really wish there was something I suggest but I think this is just something that will take time for you to get through. Big hugs to you Rajini.