My DD is 3 and she recently started, well, touching herself. She wads up her blanky and puts it between her legs and.....rides it....i guess you could say. Please don't laugh, I am really troubled by this. I know that kids start to explore themselves early but at 3? Is this normal.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 07:35 am:

VERY normal! I teach my kids it's OK to do this in private. Here's a good article.

Masturbation: Why it Happens and What to do About It

By Momsmyteacher on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 10:13 am:

It is very normal and please don't discourage her to do this. Just encourage her to do it in private like Trina says.
My DD did it anywhere at anytime and thought nothing of doing it in front of a roomful of guests. The Doctor said ignore it. Well geez it's kind of hard to ignore that when you've got ten people in the same room she's doing it in.
So I sat and explained that what she was doing was okay. But that she needed to do that in her own room. I also explained that no one would bother her when she wanted to go into her own room.
It worked out just fine. She had to be reminded I think once but then after that she was able to remember herself.
She was I think 3 or 4 at the time. After a little while, a very very short while, she stopped it altogether.
It's just important not to make your child feel like what they're doing is dirty or bad.

By Paulas on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 10:41 am:

My dd did it too. In fact I posted on this board about it and was reassured that it is normal. We had a jetted tub and she liked to let the jets flow there.
She was around 5-6 years old. She doesn't do it now...that I know of.

By Mommmie on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 02:30 pm:

Normal - and for boys - they walk around holding onto their thing like it's a handle bar!

By Feona on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 08:02 pm:

Sounds normal to me.

By Bobbie on Saturday, November 22, 2003 - 10:16 pm:

A handle bar... LOL Yes they do. And it is normal and they generally out grow it.

By Ginny~moderator on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 09:03 am:

Sounds normal to me. I did just what Trina and Momsmyteacher did with my oldest. What happened is my parents were visiting and dad and my son and I were eating breakfast when my dad noticed my son rubbing himself. He nudged me and I looked. I said, Honey, that is something you only do in the privacy of your bedroom or in the bathroom, not when other people are around.

My dad, bless him, didn't even blink.

I think it is important not to say something which might cause her to think that there is something nasty or dirty about her sexual organs, and also to help her understand that they are very private, as a beginning of the teaching you will have to do about Safe Touch and that sexual organs are private and should not be shown or touched by anyone else except mommy and the doctor.

I doubt very much that she has any idea of what is involved, and just has found something that feels good. At her age, if something feels good it is desirable. Other kids such their thumbs and stroke their blankies, and I think this is pretty much the same kind of thing. But for some reason we are more accepting of this kind of behavior with boys than we are with girls.

By Juli4 on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 09:14 pm:

I would have to agree with everyone. My daughter went through the same thing and I am sure it will show up again and that is o.k. My dad seemed to freak out when he saw her doing it, but I told him to let me handle it.

I don't want to be crude, but I wonder why we think it is abnormal for little kids (who are sexual beings) and normal for older kids and adults to touch themselves at any other time than in the bath. I know people who react badly and tell their kids they are only allowed to touch themselves when they wash and I feel sorry for them, because they will grow up with a wrong view of themselves. Anyways I just ignored it or distracted her and when she gets older will tell her the same thing that you don't do that in public.

By Mineral on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 03:59 pm:

Thank you all soooo much!!!!!!! I was pretty sure that it was normal, but she is so young. My DH flipped out when I asked him what we should do. I am handling it as you have all said. I told her it was a private thing, and I questioned her about anyone else touching her there. It seemed like I made more out of it than I needed to. I read your post,Paulas. I looked for it in the archives before I posted this but the age thing was still my issue. I do feel better now though so thanx again!!!!!!!