Parent Teacher Conferences

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2003: Parent Teacher Conferences

Yesterday we had Parent Teacher Conferences. On the good note...the teacher had only positive things to say about ds. On the not so positive side...I talked to another parent who went towards the end of the day and she said that only her and one other childs parents (being me) had showed up for the conferences. 2 out of 18 childeren. Do these parents not care? I know that the majority of these parents do not work, we were told it was ok to bring our childeren..so...what is the problem. I make it a point to take every opportunity to find out how my child is doing in school and to see if there is any way at all that I can help. I understand that some of the parents work but the most of them are sah & wah. And the ones that were military had the day off. This is a very small community and the majority of all the shops here and in both surrounding cities were closed for the holiday weekend. The teacher was there from 8:30a.m. to 6:30p.m. I don't understand what could be so important that you can't make it to a 10 min. parent teacher conference that everyone has known about for over a week. Grrr...Don't these people care?

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 10:03 am:

That is more common than you would think. So many parents have the attitude that *their* job deals with the child at home, and at school, it's the teacher's job. It is well documented that kids whose parents are involved in their schooling do better in school.

Years ago when Jen was in K and Jeff was in 1st grade, I volunteered at the school. One day when I was in the teachers' lounge working on a class project, a teacher of one of the special ed classes told me she didn't have ONE parent volunteer, and not ONE of her students' parents had shown up for conferences. Those were the kids who MOST needed that.

It amazes me how apathetic people are.

By Sunny on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 11:51 am:

I don't know if it's about not caring so much as it is about being "too busy". Some parents probably do have the attitude that it's the school's job to educate their kids and their responsibility ends with making sure the kids get to school, but it would be a very sad if that were the case the majority of the time. Our school won't release the report card for the first marking period until a parent-teacher conference is held. They try to acommodate everyone's schedule by having day conferences and setting aside one day for night conferences. I know our school also keeps track of how many parents show up for back to school night and it's easy to pick out those parents who aren't involved. It's a shame because as parents, we are our kids first teachers and (should be) their strongest advocates.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 01:57 pm:

I was surprised about this as well. I think at our public school the rate is about half to three quarters that show up to conferences. (Although some are done on the telephone.)

I've talked to moms who know their kids are doing fine and don't feel a need to go. Others, their kids are always in so much trouble they are either in communication with the school so much as it is they don't need a conference. Others are so tired of hearing bad stuff about their kids they don't want to go and hear more.

A coworker of mine missed her son's important IEP meeting last year. She wrote the date down wrong and they went ahead and met without her thinking she didn't care. (My aunt works at that school.)

Some people don't have the transportation to get to school. Some just don't think it's necessary.

But in all honesty, most of the parents I know just don't like having to go to them. It's just one more thing to do in our busy lives. It's like the Malcom in the Middle show opening where the parents are seen each holding a hot pan handle and seeing who can do it the longest. The dad drops his, he lost, and says, "Fine, I'll go to the parent teacher conferences!" and storms out the door. The mom looks at her smouldering hand and smiles. I think this is the way a lot of parents feel about it, esp if there are multiple kids and they've been doing it awhile. It's just another hoop to jump through to prove to strangers we care about our kids.

By Trisa on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 03:57 pm:

At my sons school they CAN'T get a report
card unless a parent comes to a conference.
It only last 20 min so its not really a pain
to go for me. I do know that they never have enough parents to volunteer for things. I have always gone on field trips and helped out as much as I can. My son gets sooooo excited when I do and that makes me feel so good!!!

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 08:12 pm:

I have always gone to parent-teacher conferences and open house. I wouldn't consider not going. The only thing I hate is when they get off-schedule and you have to wait and wait!

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 08:45 pm:

I can honestly say, I went to every open house and parent teacher conference. Our school system set up a day/time for phone conferences for working parents, which made it really easy.

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 08:53 pm:

We just did parent-teacher conferences last week. I think nearly every parent was there. I guess that isn't the norm.
That is too bad that parents don't make the effort. It will end up hurting their kids in the long run.

By Marcia on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 11:09 pm:

Our school is packed during interviews. My biggest challenge is trying to coordinate the times, so I don't have to hang around the school all day to talk to 4 teachers.
I keep in contact with the teachers through notes, email, and by volunteering. I also call meetings, if I'm worried about how they're doing. I don't want any surprises on interview night.

By Bobbie on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 11:28 pm:

I too have attended every open house and conference for 10 years now. Our school schedules multiple children one right after the other so you do not have to hang out all day. You go from one room to the next until you are done. We also have phone confrences and before and after school meeting times any time we need them. And if confrence day doesn't work for you you can schedule to come in before or after school any day that week. I think it is sad that no one would show up.

By Debbie on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 09:37 am:

My ds's school is the same as Trisa's. You can't get a report card until you attend the parent/teacher conference.

I guess we are lucky. My ds just started Kindergarten. I help out in class every Wed. and talk with his teacher a lot. She says she always has lots of help. This is the norm at our school. I hope we are as fortunate and ds's new school.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 08:09 pm:

Tonight, had first parent-teacher conferences at the high school. I got her report card in the cafeteria and then all the teachers were arranged around the gym in alphabetical order. I talked to ALL of her teachers, who all remembered me from open house at the beginning of the school year. In biology, she could speak up more, but in her Social Studies class, she does speak up and her opinions or answers are usually right on the mark.

The computer class teacher is soooo weird. He seemed amazed at how computer-literate dd14 is. I think dd could teach that class. I told him we had three computers networked together and he seemed to have trouble understanding why we would want to do that. We networked to share files and also an internet connection. He's supposed to be the tech guy, but he doesn't seem all that tech-savvy. Sarah says the assignments are too easy and she gets them done long before class is over and then she is bored. Good thing it's only 1 semester.

By Lauram on Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 03:49 pm:

Wow! At the school where I teach, it is RARE for a parent to not show up for conferences! My ds#2 had a conference too at his daycare (he's 20 mo.) I honestly thought that was a bit ludicrious especially since I have no issues- and he's my second child. They could only do it in the middle of the day and I refused to take a half day for it (that seemed absurd) so I did a phone conference instead.

By Bobbie on Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 09:03 pm:

Dawn around here once the kids get into Jr High confrences are optional and usually reserved for the kids with issues. Which I didn't have to go to any for my older two because they are both A high B students. But I have email addresses for all of their teachers and home numbers for most of them so that if I see an issue I can contact them..