I just sent my third grade dd off to school in tears, having found out she didn't do a homework assignment. OK, I KNOW it's my fault too, and this is where I need advice. My older dd (13) is one of those dream students...almost anal about her work, organized, neat, etc... while Jess is a whirlwind of disorganization. Up until now, the teachers have "held her hand" and made sure she's gotten her assignments done, and frankly, I've not had to do too much. This year? The teacher is (rightly) making the students responsible for their own work, and so here we have an out-of-practice mommy and a disorganized dd. And lots of fights. I've tried to discipline myself to check her bag and her assignments and even initial her assignment book, but I keep stumbling. How can I teach her to be more responsible (and yes, me too) about her work? I am in brand new waters here and am panicked! TIA

By Tonya on Tuesday, September 23, 2003 - 10:06 am:

This sounds like a question that should be asked of her every day the second she comes in the door. Our rule always was you do the homework the minute you get home from school and until it is done you do nothing else.

By Debbie on Tuesday, September 23, 2003 - 10:28 am:

My ds is only in Kindergarten, but he does get some math homework sent home each day. I know a lot of moms have their dks do homework as soon as they get home. However, I have noticed that my ds needs some time to burn off energy. I let him go play with his brother or friends after school. During this time I go through his folder, which has his homework and info. for me. Right after dinner, we sit down and do it together.

I think that you should talk with your dd and set up a time for homework, something that is agreeable to both of you. In the beginning, you can sit down with her and make sure it is done. Hopefully, once she gets into the routine, she will be able to do it herself. If she is used to her teachers holding her hand, then it is going to take her awhile to get used to this new responsibility. I think you have to come up with a game plan for both of you that will help her transition into this.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, September 23, 2003 - 11:07 am:

My DS is in Gr. 2. I've found it works out best for the both of us if I check his backpack as soon as he gets home from school. I let DS eat snack and then it's straight to homework. I've tried letting him play for awhile first but it's VERY difficult to rope him back in and get in a studious mood. Once homework is finished it goes into a special folder and straight into the backpack. That way it's all done and already in place to head back to school the next morning. If we're lazy and don't do things this way something gets forgotten, misplaced, lost or not completed. It was hard to get used to at first but now it's habit. DD started Kindergarten this year and is falling into this groove with us. She has homework for speech therapy. Hopefully this will be old hat for her by the time she has nightly homework!

By Sunny on Tuesday, September 23, 2003 - 11:10 am:

You have to help her establish a routine. Either she does her homework right after dinner or she does it right after school (my kids are allowed to have a snack before doing homework). Make sure she has a quiet, well lit area and you are close by in case she needs any help. Have her show you her work and assignment book ( and any other important papers from school) when she's done so you can initial it and then forget it. Put the schedule on the fridge if you need too! Once this routine is established, and she knows what's expected of her at home, leave it up to her to do it herself. If she doesn't get her homework done, let her suffer the consequences at school.

My 11 yr old still has problems with organization and doing homework, but he knows what to do. I start out hte school year reminding them and really being on top of it, but as February rolls around, I gradually hand over all the responsibility to them.

By Janet on Wednesday, September 24, 2003 - 05:59 pm:

Mommy came down hard yesterday, banning TV and making homework done before anything else, and you know what? It got her attention! I put a big "NO" sign on the TV, just to get the point accross. Today, it was no TV until after piano lessons, but she's playing quietly with Barbies instead. I, too, agree with down time after school, but we're going to be having a snack without the TV, I think. Its absence seems to have made things smoother.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, September 24, 2003 - 06:16 pm:

Yeah for success! I also have the "No TV/computer/PS2 rule" until after homework is done. Certainly motivates my DS.

By Annie2 on Wednesday, September 24, 2003 - 10:12 pm:

My 4th grader and 2nd grader get the option of taking a break after their snack for one hour before starting homework. They can do whatever they want in that hour. My 2nd grader usually eats her snack, grabs her homework and heads next door to her friend/classmate's house to do homework with her. Her friend has a hard time focusing and having dd there together helps her stay on task. Friend's mom/ dad is there to supervise. I go over it with dd later in the evening. Sometimes the friend comes here and I make sure they know what they need to do.
My 4th grader usually opts for the hour break, unless she knows her friend will be at her dad's house in the neighborhood. In that case, she does her homework right after snack.
I make my K do his homework right after snack. It takes him 5-10 minutes. It is hard to reign him back into the school mode once he starts to play.
You need to find the best routine which works well for you and dd. It will work.