My ds will be 4 the end of October. He is big for his age...about 45 pounds, wears size 5 clothing and size 11 shoe. He is also as tall as most 5 year olds around here. My problem is he is a whiner BIG time. People see him and expect him to act like a 5 year old b/c of his size. I don't expect that but I also don't think he should be whining ALL the time either.

Right now I stop him and tell him he needs to use his big boy voice. This doesn't seem to be working. Any other suggestions?

TIA

By Susan10 on Sunday, September 14, 2003 - 01:41 am:

Paula, my son was exactly the same at 4 years old. He drove everybody crazy with his whining. He couldn't say anything in a normal voice. Here are 2 things that helped:

1. Tell him you can't hear what he says when he's whining. If he wants something, he doesn't get it because you can't hear him.

2. Get tougher. Now is the time to nip this in the bud with a consistent, firm message from you that he doesn't get away with things by whining. I realized that I was caving in too much (actually, my sister pointed it out, as only a sister can...I said it wasn't my fault he was whining, and she said, "Yes it is.") Anyway, if he'd whine about his dinner or going to bed or whatever, I'd make him stand in the corner until her agreed to do what he was supposed to do. He was so stubborn once he stood there for 45 minutes. But it totally worked. Now he's the sweetest 10 year old you could ever meet. (Still a little "sensitive" but I think that's just going to be part of his nature.)

By Truestori on Sunday, September 14, 2003 - 01:43 am:

You are not alone! My son is 4 and very big for his size. He is alittle on the whinny side lately, and I just try to stay consistent with him. I explain that whinning is not acceptable and I don't understand what you are trying to tell me when you whine, etc...I truly think it is a stage and it will pass. I know the looks you get, I have gotten them all to often. It gets frustrating at times but I just explain that hes only four and I can't expect him to act older just because he appears to be 5 or 6. Usually, people are understanding after I tell them his age. (BTW, my son is in a size 1 shoe and size 7-8 clothes..

By Eve on Sunday, September 14, 2003 - 06:47 pm:

I tell my daughter I can't understand her when she whines. (She's 2 1/2) Also, telling her that whining hurts Mom's ears seems to help too. If she gets mad at me, I just tell her "Mommy only talks to girls that are calm" and I lower my own voice and she always follows suit. I just don't give in to whining. I get frusterated at times(A lot of times.), but I don't give in to what she wants. If that makes any sense. I hope it gets better!

My brother always looked older, and it was the same. My Mom had to keep reminding everyone that he was a 12 year old boy and was going to be immature at times.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, September 14, 2003 - 07:02 pm:

I was a Big Sister for about 2 years. My "Little Sister" was 9-1/2 when we were matched together. Also, because of the papers you fill out and the interviews you go through, we were soooo perfectly matched, too! She loved to read, loved horses, loved band, played piano. You name it.

Anyway, she whined big time, too. Not sure what she had all been allowed to get away with in life, but she put me to the test!

I finally told her she had to ask me in a normal voice what she wanted. If she was going to whine, no way would she get it. She finally learned she wasn't going to get away with it. So, for a while, I gave her whatever it was she wanted, like Jelly Bellies, if she asked me in a nice voice. Eventually, it got to the point where no was no and even the normal voice wasn't going to get her anywhere, but it seemed once I set the limits and stuck to them, we got past that point and she was a very enjoyable child. I loved spending time with her and after I'm done raising my kids, I think I might want to be a Big Sister again!

So, I guess she gave me good practice for being a mom, huh? I was still single when we starting hanging out together. I was bored and needed something to do with my free time!