Did you or any of your kids skip a grade in school? What were the pros and cons of that decision? Also, how far was your or your child's birthdate from the cut-off date? (I am curious as to how much younger you or your child were in comparison to classmates and how that affects your point of view on such a move). TIA.

By Mommyathome on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 06:35 pm:

I was put in a split class with 4th and 5th graders. I was in 4th grade and we were all being taught at the 5th grade level. We all would have moved up to 6th grade together.

I hated it. I didn't want to go to school, I didn't like the teacher (which could have had a lot to do with the fact that I hated it) I didn't want to do the work anymore so I could get held back a year and be with my friends again.

It lasted about 3 months. Then, my parents moved me back to my regular 4th grade class. I was much happier there and always got good grades and from that point on I was always an honor student. The work came easily to me (which is why I was selected to move up a grade) but I was so happy.

So, my experience w/it was negative. I'm sure there are just as many positive experiences out there as well.

My birthday is in May. The kids in my class would turn 6 (for instance) through-out the school year and I would turn six at the end of the school year in May.

I turned 18 a few weeks before highschool graduation.

By Clair~moderator on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 07:10 pm:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/iowa_accel_scale.htm

HTH

By Melanie on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 08:13 pm:

Thank you Robin and Claire. Both responses are very helpful. Claire, I purchased that book. I really appreciate that link.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:31 pm:

I had a friend who had her daughter skip kindergarten. She ended starting school in first grade. It was fine for a few years and M was able to handle it academically, but as she got into middle school, it affected her socially when the other girls started developing breasts and getting their periods and starting to show interest in boys. She was way behind everyone else, since was a year younger than they were. So, later on my friend regretted her decision. I think now it's fine again. She was at a private school then and the girls were kind of snobby.

Now, she is in the public high school and probably doing fine. I haven't talked to her mom in a while.

By Melanie on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:52 pm:

Thanks, Dawn. That's exactly why I was asking about the cut-off date and how much younger the child was from the classmates. My son missed the cut-off to start school by six days (he's in second now). Had he been born on his due date he would have been in the next grade. He's always been well ahead of his peers in both reading and math (especially math). This year he is in a 2-3 class and when the class splits for reading groups and math groups, he is the only second grader in with the third graders. I can't help but wonder if it's time to just make the switch.

As for friends, his closest ones are certainly the ones he has been in school since preschool with. Yet he plays all the time with the third graders. I asked today who he played with and he named 6 third graders and no second graders. And every team he has ever been on in sports has been with the third grade kids as none of the second grade boys (there are only six of them) played any sports.

But I am concerned about development issues when he is in middle and high school. I don't know that being the youngest in the class will be a good thing.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 10:55 pm:

M is one of those kids. She was born in early September, so she is 15 now. She should be in the same grade as my daughter, who just turned 14. My daughter was due 8-31-89 and was born 8-4-89, so she is young for her grade, too. She had the potential of being in the grade behind her at this point, if she had been overdue. However, she had other plans.

At the time, I really didn't understand why she wanted M to miss kindergarten. Kindergarten is kind of fun and not quite like the academics of sit-in-your-desk 1st grade. She did have to have M specially tested at the time to be able to skip kindergarten and M did pretty well on those tests. Would she have been bored? I really don't remember.

By Kaye on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 09:19 am:

Although I think he would do fine there are other things to take in to consideration. Will he ever play sports? If so the extra year to grow is really important to boys, they tend to not finish growing until 18. Also he is obviously the top of his class right now, if he is moved there is a better chance that he will be right in the middle. Well again, scholarships and college stuff really look at class placement and unless he is way above, so far the teachers are talking about moving him up, then I would leave him where he is. I think that although plenty of people move their children and some have good experiences, so not. I don't think anywho who doesn't make that decision thinks, oh I wish I had moved them up. Ultimately starting jr high they offer advanced classes and he will have plenty of time to be challenged. If you move him up though you will have the child who is the last to drive, can't go to a club when he starts college (have to be 18), he will be younger than the girls in his class so he might struggle with dating the girls he spends time with. Anyway, just more things to think about.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 10:36 am:

Melanie, this was my own experience:

When Jeff was entering K, our school system was in the process of moving the cutoff date from December to September. Jeff's b'day was Sept. 9. He made the cutoff, but almost all the kids he had gone to preschool/preK with were several months older than he was. He had also been sickly for a few years and was still a bit *clingy*. He tested K level academically, so no problem there, but he was *socially and emotionally immature*. Also that year, our school system was beginning a pilot program, Developmental Kindergarten(DK) which was sort of a bridge between preK and K.

After a lot of soul searching, interviews and conversations with the principal and K and DK teachers, we chose to have him placed in DK. Almost all of his friends went straight to K. At that time, being young, he adjusted well, made new friends, etc.

Once he got into grammar school, he was always one of the oldest in his grade, rather than the youngest, he was in all the advanced level classes, was very confident, did very well.

He didn't really have an issue with being *held back* until jr. high. He had always had friends who were older than he was, and they were rapidly moving on. He was becoming bored. All through high school he used to sort of throw at me, the fact that I *held him back*.

I did what was best for him at the time, he flourished because of the decision I made. He was always on top, never struggled, was looked up to. I went with my gut on that, it was right for HIM. Decisions as to which grade level to place your child are never easy, IMO. You know your child better than anyone. Some excellent points have been made above. I would take all those things into consideration before making a decision.

Good luck!

By Melanie on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 02:54 pm:

Thank you all for your responses. You have given us so much to think about! Kaye, you raised some very important issues for us to consider. Thank you for that. And Karen, thank you for sharing your story. It's nice to hear how much he flourished from that decision, even if it wasn't one he was always happy about.

For now we won't be pursuing this. We will continue to observe the situation while considering all our options. His teacher is able to challenge him this year while keeping him in his grade. So right now, his needs are being met. That's the important thing.

Thanks again for all your help.

By Lauram on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 03:08 pm:

Part of my job as a gifted teacher is to see if kids qualify for this. My district has VERY STRICT criteria for grade acceleration. Just throwing that out there.... The teacher should be differentiating to meet his needs. Sounds like that is currently happening.

By Melanie on Saturday, September 13, 2003 - 04:45 pm:

I am sure the school has strict guidelines for grade acceleration. I certainly would want them to be absolutely sure before allowing such a move. It does look like the teacher will be able to meet his needs for this year. But I do have concerns about the coming years. We have a very small school. This year we have all combination classes. There was a very real possibility of just a 1-2 class, which was completely unacceptable for his needs. If a teacher is already focusing on two grade levels, how could she possibly also focus on a child that needed a higher level? Luckily there is a 1-2 and a 2-3. (I had requested he be placed in a 2-3 or as a second grader in the third grade room). Every year we will face that same possibility. There are only 13 second graders this year so he will always be in a combination class in elementary school. Which means when he is in sixth, he will be in a 5-6 combination. We have no GATE program to assist with this situation. We will just take it one step at a time. I'd rather the school meet his needs without us having to push to have him skip. Hopefully they can do that. We will just watch and see, one step at a time.