would your trust you child to give him/her a key to the house?

By Tonya on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 12:00 pm:

It is not the age of the child in my eyes it is how responsible they are.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 12:15 pm:

Tough question. Tonya has a point. Different kids have different levels of responsibility at different ages. My kids are still young (5 & 7) but I don't think I would give them a key to the house until they are old enough to be home alone. That won't be until at least 12 or 13. JMHO

By Kay on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 01:29 pm:

My answer would be the same age that you would trust them to begin babysitting. To me, when they can be responsible for others as well as themselves, then that is a big step. Plus, by giving them a key, they have matured enough to not put the family in danger by misplacing or losing it.

By Kathy on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 01:39 pm:

I want to clarify that my reason for giving Rachel (10 in January) a key would be for emergency use only. I am a SAHM and I am always home when they get off the bus from school. There are some days that I will go out and I am usually home way before the girls get home. But I got to thinking....what if there comes the day when I (or dh) isn't home in time for the bus? Then what? They would have no where to go. That is my main concern. And that would be my reason for giving a key.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 02:07 pm:

Our school district won't drop off elementary kids unless there is an adult at the bus stop to greet them. I drive my kids to and from school, but our neighbors take turns greeting the kids when they get off the bus. It doesn't happen often, but the adult in charge is responsible for any kids whose parents aren't home. It's probably different for older (Junior and Senior high) kids.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 02:38 pm:

I didn't give mine keys until they were old enough to stay home by themselves for an hour or two. When Jeff was in 6th grade, I gave him a key, and both the kids rode the bus home from school. A good friend of mine lived 2 doors down, she was a SAHM, and she checked on them every day. They had to lock the doors when they went in and were not allowed to leave the house until I got home from work. She was there if there was ever a problem.

Kathy has a very good point though - what *if* she or her DH were out on business, running errands, whatever, and were caught in traffic or something beyond their control?? It would make sense for her DD to have a key. My only concern would be the worry of other kids getting hold of it, or her losing it.

My friend I spoke of above always had a key to my house, and I had one to hers. We also had a key to each of our houses hidden in the others' yard somewhere. That way, if the key were found, it wouldn't fit the door of the house it was found at, which would be the *obvious* thing.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 02:48 pm:

Yeap, sometimes, we didn't make it home in time for the bus. We have a hidden key and the kids know how to find it. So, no one actually carries a key. I did give a key to my older daughter when she got to middle school. She just uses the hidden one if she is dropped off and we aren't home. We got tired of being out of luck when we locked ourselves out of the house, so finally had an extra set made. It has saved our butts many times.

My kids don't cause any trouble when they are home alone. They just stay out of each other's way. (14 and 11).

My mom started leaving me home alone when I was about 10. I waited until my older daughter was 11.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 03:48 pm:

As I mentioned above, our district won't drop kids off if there isn't an adult to greet them. They take them back to the bus station, contact the parents, who then have to pick up their child(ren) at the bus station.

I've heard some states have set ages as to when it's appropriate and legal to leave children home alone unsupervised.

By Kathy on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 04:21 pm:

We don't have a bus rule like that. The closest thing to it is that an adult has to be at the bus stop when the kindergarteners are dropped off. I just happen to remember that from 2 years ago when Gwendolyn started kindergarten. We live in an apartment complex, so there are close to 15 kids getting off the bus every day. The few parents that do show up are just looking to get their own kids and don't watch where the other kids are going.

I normally wouldn't even think of letting Rachel stay home for any reason at this point in time. She isn't even 10 yet. And I am most always home. But I still worry about the girls if I am not there in time for some very strange reason. I just feel that there has to be a plan of what to do...just in case.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 06:48 pm:

Kathy, it is definitely a smart thing to do, having a plan. She'd be much safer locked inside your apartment than she would be waiting outside for you to come home. I say give her the key, find a really safe spot for her to keep it, and know that you've done something to keep her safe *if* something happens and you aren't there when she gets home.

By Marcia on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 10:44 pm:

My kids know how to get in if we're late getting home. I'm always here after school, but they sometimes beat me home for lunch, by a minute or 2. They don't need a key, because I can't lock one of the doors when I go out with the girls who use wheelchairs. The kids just go in that way.
BTW, Nicole is 10.5, and I trust her alone. I wouldn't leave her for long, but I know she's fine when it happens. I wouldn't want to leave her with her sisters for long, 7 and 8, because they'd kill each other. LOL

By Bobbie on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 10:51 pm:

Our district only requires the kindergarteners to be taken off the bus. And I have a key hidden outside. All of my children know where it is... I have done this for many reasons. And it has had to be used. They let themselves in and sit in the living room until I call them and tell them where I am and when I will be home... And IF I don't call DS has the number to my moms work and she knows my schedule like the back of her hand so she gives them directions. But I agree you are 100% right to set up a back up plan...

By Cat on Wednesday, September 10, 2003 - 11:38 pm:

I have a key for my oldest ds (will be 10 next month), but he knows he's not going to get it until he shows he's responsible (which may be a very long time! lol). I'm also home, but I usually walk up to the school to get the kids and Robin likes to go ahead of us and walk home alone. Both my boys know the code to get into the garage and they also know to shut it behind them and not to open the door to anyone or answer the phone. They're never alone more than about 5-10 minutes (sometimes we have to hunt down jackets or lunch boxes).
I was just talking about this with a friend the other day. She asked when I had a house key and I told her I never did growing up. The only time our door was ever locked was at night. Oh, the good ole days...

By Kathy on Thursday, September 11, 2003 - 07:13 am:

OK....I gave Rachel a key. I also gave her rules about the key. She is not to tell anyone that she has it. And it would only be used in case of an emergency. If I could leave a key hidden in the yard, I would, but since we live in an apartment complex, there is no where to put it. So anyways, I just hope that Rachel never has a reason to use it.

By Bobbie on Thursday, September 11, 2003 - 11:21 pm:

Kathy, she probably never will but it is good for you to know that she is able to make herself safe in the case of an emergancy and it is very important for her to know that she has a plan if she were to come home and you not to be there. I know that my kids were always worried of what should we do if you aren't here when we get home.. I would suggest running her through the rules every now and then. You know, unlock the house, lock the house sit in the living room and watch TV or whatever your plan of action might be. And another suggestion would be to have her start unlocking the house when ever you two come back from being out. Kids can find door knobs hard to manage at first. And the last thing you are going to want is her standing out there fidgeting with the knob if you aren't home.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 12, 2003 - 09:45 pm:

Yeap, we did that with dd11. I had her practice pushing the code for the garage door and then unlocking the door with the key. I wanted to make sure she could really do it!