Bobbie, I notice you said your daughter is going into 9th grade. So is mine. This summer she started eating everything in sight. Does anyone else have this problem? Now that she's 14 it's hard to say "Don't eat that." My 10 year old son still asks if he can have a snack, but my 14 year old daughter has started just fishing around in the fridge. She's not overweight, but I think has the potential to go in that direction. She's short and muscular. Sort of Britney Spears shaped, except she's got a biggish tummy. She's always had kind of a tummy, even as a toddler. Do any of you tell your teenage kids what to eat? Do they listen? Does this mess up their self esteem and make them eat more? I do try to say, no more snacks, it's almost dinner time, but it's not working. If I say, "Why not have fruit?" she'll grab a piece of cheese or nuts, thinking that will be healthy. She never picks carrots for a snack, like her brother does. If I suggest 10 different low cal things, she'll pick the one with the most fat.

By Bobbie on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 10:18 pm:

Susan this is funny. Because I have noticed this in Callie over the last couple of weeks too. Her food intake has increased by leaps and bounds. I am thinking we might be getting ready for some kind of a growth. She has bloomed over the last couple of months. She went from a training bra to a c cup. And she is now filling out in her rear end. So I am not all that concerned. When she was little she would do this same thing when she was ready to spike in growth. She would seem to sleep more and eat more and then she would grow.

And to be honest I did this very same thing my freshman year. I can remember coming home from school ready to chew my arm off I was so hungry. I would eat a fist full of cookies or something equally as bad for me and would turn around and eat a whole supper. And actually come to think of it. That is when I did my final growing and getting my "womanly" figure. HMMM, wonder who else can remember this???

Does your daughter seem to be eating out of hunger or boredom? That would be the only concern I would have. You know that she is using food properly? Not is she eating properly (aparently not) but is she eating because of hunger? Some people eat out of boredom (or other emotions) this can become a major issue. I would also avoid making her feel bad about eating though because children can make food their worst enemy. And I would rather have a child openly eating than have her sneeking because of not wanting to hear about it. Or have her stop eating when she is hungry because she doesn't want anyone to say anything. If she has a good figure and doesn't seem to be concerned or like I said eating because of other issues. I would just let her eat. And if you are overly concerned you could limit the kinds of foods you keep in the house for snacking. Maybe ask her what kinds of things she would want and look for health alternatives. Just a thought.

Isn't being the mom of a teen girl fun?

By Kernkate on Wednesday, August 27, 2003 - 08:54 am:

I don't know about teen girls, but my son who is 17 has been eating like a horse for 4 years. He use to be a very small portion eater..but once he hit like 14, he eats alot. But Tom does like fruits and veggies and is very big on drinking alot of water. I guess you can say he eats healthy..but alot!! LOL
He is 5'8" and weighs about 150 pounds so he is by no means heavy from all the stuff he eats.
Good luck with the teen girls. I have 10 more years before DD is 13

By Karen55 on Wednesday, August 27, 2003 - 09:10 am:

Susan, it's true that any child going through a growth spurt will eat more, it seems like they are constantly grazing in the kitchen. But you do have to be careful how you try to curb their appetites, in that their self esteem and self confidence can tend to be rocky during those years, so instead of telling them to *stop eating so much, you're going to get heavy*, you can emphasize the *healthy eating* aspect of it.

Another thing I want to throw out there, and I'm NOT saying this is the case with your child, is that depression can also cause increases in appetite.

The solution to your child picking the things to eat with the most fat/calories, is not to keep that kind of stuff readily available to them. BTDT and got the T shirt! LOL

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, August 27, 2003 - 10:07 am:

My kids 14 and 11 do seem to eat more than they used to, but do seem to eat fairly well. We don't keep a lot of chips and stuff like that in the house because my hubby and I don't need to be eating that stuff either. I try to keep fruit and carrots and stuff in the house so they have healthier choices.

I do notice that the 14 yo is starting to fill out a little more, not fat, but just more womanly. She's already had her period for almost 3 years, so I guess would start looking less like a child at this point.

The 11 yo is still pretty skinny and seems to eat like a horse, but she is at that growth spurt time of life.

By Karen55 on Wednesday, August 27, 2003 - 06:31 pm:

You know, my mom used to criticize me to my sister, because I gave my kids lowfat or skim milk (didn't start doing that till after age 6), bought skinless chicken, lowfat yogurt or frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, and sour cream, baked chips, that kind of thing; she said I was *starving* them by making them eat *all that low fat crap*. Let me add that until they were in junior high, they never ate a school-prepared lunch, I made lunches every day, which included either sandwiches, soup or salad, fresh vegies and fresh fruit, chips, and yes, a dessert. I had those containers for their lunch boxes that kept things hot or cold. The one thing I didn't include in their lunch boxes was milk to drink because the thermos didn't keep it as cold as they liked, so they had juice instead.

My point - if you offer enough healthy alternatives, they will certainly have enough to eat, and won't necessarily pack on the pounds in doing so. I had to point out to my mom that they got enough junk food everywhere else, so they certainly were not lacking in that department.

Also, as Bobbie pointed out, kids will often eat out of boredom, or even due to stress. Some kids don't have an appetite when they are upset, where others will eat everything in sight.

Something else I did was always have bottled water (don't EVEN want to drink the tap water here!), so they would be more inclined to drink water and not sodas. Actually, I didn't start keeping sodas in the house regularly until they were teens, just because I didn't want them filling up on them.

Susan, you did mention that your DD will pick the snack option with the most calories in it - something you can do to offset that is to serve meals with leaner meats or 2 vegies, instead of say, 1 vegie and a starch, like rice or potatoes or pasta.

I really think the best thing you can do is to pay attention to the kinds of foods you have in the house, and you can gradually make changes to what you are buying so that eating healthier becomes a new habit, and not something that appears forced on them. And don't make a big deal out of everything they eat, because when YOU focus on food, they tend to focus on food, and will often go in the opposite direction than what you are trying to steer them.

By Babysitbarb on Wednesday, August 27, 2003 - 10:56 pm:

Actually it's weird but, my 14 and 11 year old girls are actually going throught the opposite thing right now. they both haven't been very big eaters at all lately. My oldest has lost over 40 pounds in the past 2 years and she looks really good. She was over weight before, we didn't realize how much until we see old pictures.My youngest is going through a growing spurt and is growing out of her baby fat as people would usually call it. She's really thinning down also. Im happy for them both because other kids can be so cruel.

By Susan10 on Thursday, August 28, 2003 - 12:58 am:

Barb, that's amazing. 40 pounds is a lot to lose. Did she consciously decide to lose weight, or did you all do it, or did she just spontaneously decide to start eating less?

By Bobbie on Thursday, August 28, 2003 - 10:22 am:

My kids cycle. They go through food like mad then they go to the point of barely eating a meal. It usually revolves around growth spurts. Dillan right now (11) is a little over weight. So I know he is about to grow. You can look at each school picture and you can see the growth spurts. One picture he is thin. The next he is heavy and the next he is taller. The thing is I think once the child stops growing the need for food decreases and the child levels out. I was 135 my freshman year. My last growth spurt where I was eating everything in the house. My sophmore year I was 105. I didn't really change anything other than all the snacking. So I think my growth burnt off the fat stores. You know, body tells mind we are getting ready to grow so mind tells stomach to consume more food body tells mind okay we are done for now mind tells stomach okay slack up and the food intake lessens. And I think that some people are over weight because they eat the wrong food for the wrong reasons and because their internal signals don't work properly. We use food for more than what it is suppoised to be used for...

By Juli4 on Friday, August 29, 2003 - 12:03 pm:

I have a younger sister about 14 and she eats non stop bu tnot infront of people. She won't eat dinner but you will go into the kitchen and notice a whole plate of cookies gone. It is sad and she is overweight. I probably wouldn't worry too much though. As long as she seems emotionally stable (for a 14 year old) and she is not sneaking food. The last thing you want is her to start hiding food and it becoming an obsession.

I remember getting my womanly figure. My dad ever so poilitely told me ,"boy Julie your butt is getting big". To say the least I was working out everyday and I was not fat by any stretch. I was probably 130 at 15 or 16. I was just filling out.

By Bobbie on Friday, August 29, 2003 - 10:28 pm:

Exactly. Food becomes and issue out of shame. And the worst thing you can do is cause your child to feel ashamed of eating or of their body structure. They will turn it in on themselves. They will stop eating all together or they will start eating everything in site and in many cases sneeking food. Weight is a very hurtful subject for everyone young and old. Imagine yourself in her shoes. You are at a family gathering. Your sister (or someone you value the opinion of) leans over and says "are you sure you really need another cookie?". OH MY, Out comes the excercise tapes and the food intake is monitored to the point of running around starving. Don't make food an issue for her. Just watch and make sure she is eating out of hunger. Not out of depression or boredom. If these are the case she doesn't need a diet she needs to see a dr or get involved in something to keep her busy. Talk to her not about the food but about how she is feeling. She may just be distressed about the new school year and what all of it means.. But then again she like Callie might just be HUNGRY!!!

By Susan10 on Saturday, August 30, 2003 - 12:39 am:

Good points...thanks. (My daughter would thank you, too, probably.)

By Bobbie on Saturday, August 30, 2003 - 09:59 am:

Susan I really wish you all the best with this. Being a parent is such hard work and we always feel we are falling short. But once they get to a certain point in their lives we have to stop taking everything on ourselves and let them take some of the control.

By Cybermommyx4 on Sunday, August 31, 2003 - 11:41 am:

My DD is going through this right now - she's 12, and has grown 3 inches in the last 3 months! She has also grown a few inches in the chest area, lol! She hasn't started her period yet, and may not for some time (the Dr. said she has very little body fat, due to being a competitive gymnast, who also does track, field hockey, etc.) But her appetite lately has been non-stop. Luckily, she eats healthy foods - fruit, meat, yogurt, trail mix bars, etc. but I've noticed that she wakes up about 2-3am and has to have a snack before she can go back to sleep. I'm glad she is able to listen to her body and give it what it needs

By Susan10 on Sunday, August 31, 2003 - 03:05 pm:

Wendy, I'll bet your daughter starts her period any second. Girls have these giant growth spurts right before they start their periods, then the growth rate drops WAY off.

By Zoemarcov on Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 02:35 pm:

Hi, my 13 year old daughter Amy is really worrying me right now. For about the past year she has been eating everything in sight. I dont keep a lot of sweet things in the house but i think her school friends have been lending her money to buy sweets at the school shop. Her weight has shot from 123 to 168 in just a few months and i keep having to buy her new clothes because all her old ones are too tight. Please give me some advice i've tried talking to her about overeating but she wont stop.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 09:32 pm:

My 11yo (12 in a couple weeks) is eating everything in sight, and is always sooooo hungry, but she still weighs 95 pounds or so. She is little. I'm sure it's just part of being an adolescent.

By Annie2 on Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 10:49 pm:

My 12 year old is eating more, too. She has gained a few pounds, got her period but hasn't grown an inch yet. I think she is ready for her final growth spurt!

By Marcia on Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 11:59 pm:

My almost 11 year old has been eating a lot lately. She doesn't eat unreasonable amounts, but more than normal. She's really into carbs right now, but just crackers, bread, cereal, etc. She's only about 85 lbs, and looks good, so I'm not really worried. I'm sure she'll be getting her period soon, so I'm thinking it's a hormonal thing.

By Irene on Friday, March 5, 2004 - 11:07 pm:

Zoe, your post about your daughter is worrisome. I think all teens go through a phase of eating everything in site, but to gain so much in such a short time sounds like something bigger. Is it possible that she is depressed? Has anything happened in her life, a move or something, that could be bothering her? I would definitely not chalk this up to being just a teenage phase. I hope you can get to the bottom of it.

By Zoemarcov on Saturday, March 6, 2004 - 09:20 am:

Nothing bad has happened in our family. maybe its something to do with school. Amy's always so moody though, i don't think she will appreciate me talking to her about it.

By Pamt on Saturday, March 6, 2004 - 09:28 am:

Zoe, I am concerned about your post too. I would first of all take her to the doctor. That much weight gain in such a short time could have a medical basis like a thyroid problem or something. Once anything medical has been ruled out, her doctor could talk to her privately about diet, the risks of gaining weight (diabetes, etc.), self-esteem issues, etc. I definitely think you need to look into this.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, March 6, 2004 - 10:25 am:

Ditto Irene and Pamt - I'd be very concerned too, especially due to her age. I agree with Pamt, get the medical issues ruled out first, and if that doesn't turn up anything, get her to a counselor of some type.

If your child needs counseling/therapy, it is NOT a black mark against you as a parent. Depression wears many faces and teenage girls are at high risk and eating disorders are a red flag.

Another thing I found out the hard way after raising 4 kids, don't think that the school counselor will solve the problem, because he/she won't. True, it's their job to help the kids, but they have hundreds of kids to deal with and they have only so much time to spend with each one.

*If* it turns out your child is depressed or has an emotional issue, don't beat yourself up taking it personally, just do what you need to do to help your child.

By Bobbie on Saturday, March 6, 2004 - 09:54 pm:

I agree with everyone else Zoe. I think she needs to see her DR and rule out any physical issues. Because that is a huge weight gain. And I wouldn't make this just about her being over weight though. That can scar a child. I think you should make this more about her physical and emotional well being. We all know that over weight children have a lot of social issues. Best to nip this in the bud if you can. Do you have large women in your family (DH and yours?)? Just curious because I think that there is a genetic link to weight issues. DH's family are all really thin people. And my family is all short and stout. His family eats the worst foods possible and don't gain and ounce. If my family would eat the same types of food we would be huge... And one last thing.. Teens will over eat as a way of controlling something. Same with the girls that stop eating or making themselves sick. This may not be a depression it may be early symptoms of an emotional issue. And depressions don't only come about because of trauma.