I haven't been around in a very long while, but my child really has been freaking me out these last couple days and I feel silly talking to anyone else about this. My DD is 19 months old, has always been very independent and persistent, quite a little character. Yesterday, she brought her blocks into my room while I was folding laundry, and proceeded to stack them...and count out loud. She went from 1 to 5 several times, it was very clear what she was saying. I was suprised, since I have not been the type of parent to try to rush any conventional learning(I admit I'd rather see her enjoy being a kid, and my motto has always been "there's plenty of time to learn that stuff in school." My inlaws are educators and contantly push "Baby Einstein" and flashcards, and try to push my DD to do all kinds of developmental stuff. So, I avoid this type of stimulation.)Now, I thought it was cute at the time, but today she was stacking her Teddy Grahms and counted them...all the way through to 10! I know I probably shouldn't be worked up, but I don't know where this came from! I'm a SAHM, my DH is a cop, and we really NEVER try to make her memorize letters or numbers. She does watch quite a bit of the "Wiggles", but I can't see her learning how to count from that. She's obviously counting, she says the words very clearly and attached them to the correct amount of objects. She is constantly "reading" book to herself(and we read to her a lot) and at first we thought she was just jabbering, but she actually reads the words. (I feel silly even saying that my 19 month old reads!). But she does...over and over she points to the words and reads a lot of them! My question is this: should I encourage this(by some formal training?), or should I let her be? I hate to ask my inlaws, I am afraid they will think she is the next Einstein and try to put her in school or something. I don't mean to sound like I'm anti-education or anything. We're both college educated, and DH and I feel like we were both pushed too much by our parents as kids and don't want to do that to ours. But I also feel like I would be wrong not to aid/work on early learning especially since DD is showing such a propensity for it. I'm not sure what to do, and I am afraid to make the mistake of pushing too much and chancing her to not be interested. This probably sounds really silly now as I read it...anyone else been here?

By Kaye on Sunday, August 24, 2003 - 01:28 pm:

I think from reading this you have a bright child, but I don't think it is time to rush to more education. The things your daughter are doing are mostly age appropriate. If she is truely reading the words, then she is way above. Most children who have been read to learn to repeat the book, the right words on the right page, this is a great prereading skill. If you took those same words and put them on flash cards, independent from the book, can she read them? It sounds like what you are doing with her is right on target, read to her, love her and that will nuture her intellect and she will do great in school. I am not trying to bust your bubble. There are a lot of children at 18 months that hardly talk, much less count and try to read books. She obviously has a lot going for her and what you are doing is obviously right!

By Hol on Sunday, August 24, 2003 - 03:53 pm:

I agree. You are right to just let her be a kid, and not run to put her in any kind of accellerated program. She is obviously very bright, and she will continue to progress on her own. I have a problem with people who push their little ones too hard. I agree with Kaye. Continue to read to her, count with her, cuddle her, and talk to her. She'll be fine.

By Melissa on Sunday, August 24, 2003 - 07:17 pm:

My dd was like that at 18 months. Spelling her name and counting and such. You have a very bright DD that's great, while I agree you don't want to make her weird or not let her be a kid you should make sure she stays stimulated she may get bored easily. Maybe consider a good Preschool type setting for a day or two a week if there is something appropriate near you. Montessori schools can be great for kids like this. I'd say for now don't mention it to the inlaws but just enjoy her and don't let her get bored! A gifted child is a challenge!

By Tyaustinsma on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:00 am:

I can relate to what your saying.my ds was spelling his name,even writes it now,he just turned two,he too started on his own seems like it came out of no where. everyone in the family is amazed by what he can do. We just encourage him everyday and let him learn new things while still being a child. We just figure we'll see where he's at when he is ready to go to school.who knows by that time he could be smarter then dh and I. lol

By Dawnk777 on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:18 am:

When my younger dd was 3-1/2, she was starting to make letter shapes with her drawing, so I taught her how to spell her name. At first, she mixed up some of the letters, but soon learned how to spell it correctly. When she started preschool a year later, she was quite good at writing her own name!

By Jtw on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:22 am:

I agree with the above. She probably learned how to count from books and such. Most children's books have lots of counting and ABC's, so you probably didn't even realize that you were teaching it to her when you read it. I agree with what Kaye said about repitition. My dk's, 2 & 3, also "read", but they don't always know the words in other settings. If you aren't really big on formal education right now I would say don't do it. I have read that they don't keep that edge for very long once they start kindergarten. Besides, if you are going to sign her up for pre-school it should be so she can have fun & get social interaction with kids her age, not so she can be a genius. My siblings and I were not sent to pre-school, and we are all very educated and did fine in school. I do send my kids to a pre-school type of setting, and they love it, but mostly because we get out of the house and they can do things we don't normally do at home. Hope that helps!

By Ginnyk on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 07:51 am:

I agree with the above - don't push her, and don't discourage her. And, most of all, let her be a child. If she asks "what is this word", you tell her, and, of course, keep reading to her as you have been. Some kids learn early, some learn later - either way is OK. My sons were interested and I taught them to read by about age 4 - a modified phonics sort of reading, because I really dislike the see/say word memorization teaching of reading. My parents told me I was reading the comics aloud before I was 3-1/2 (but not counting - I'm not a complete math dunce but darn near).

I would say you have to watch out for a couple of things, the first being the inlaws who are trying to push her. The last thing you want any child to feel is that s/he is only valued for how smart they are or how much they "know". If she is indeed bright you'll have to watch out for boredom when she starts school. And, while you want her to enjoy just being a child, be careful you don't somehow project the notion that there is something wrong with her being ahead of other kids in some areas.

I agree with JTW, if you do puther in a pre-school program, make sure that they emphasize socialization skills, which are critical for getting along in "real school".

And yes, gifted children, bright children, are indeed a challenge. You have to run 2-3 times as hard just to keep up, and they can find many more ways to get into trouble just because they are so curious and explore things more thoroughly.
All three of mine tested in the top 5%, but the youngest is far and away the brightest of the three, and the one who came closest to sending me over the edge some times. If your dd is a gifted child, you will have to work harder than ever to teach her how to think things through to the consequences of actions, and how to make choices (which means seeing the consequences of choices).

Bottom line, I would say don't change a thing - except, don't think of yourself as being "freaked out" or tell anyone that your daughter freaks you out - that could have negative connotations, and you wouldn't want a neighbor's child telling your daughter at some time that she really freaks her mother out.

By Susan10 on Thursday, August 28, 2003 - 02:22 am:

This post was a couple days ago, but I have to throw my 2 cents in. I agree it's not good to push a child, but I wouldn't go overboard the other way, either. If she's interested in numbers, then teaching her more numbers, I don't think is pushing. If she's having fun with it, it can be a fun game. You said you and your husband felt pushed as children, but I think you can do some teaching without making the kid nuts. Some kids really like it and see it as a game, like a puzzle. My daughter really liked letters at about 2, and she'd drag us up to a sign and point to each letter and say "What's that...what's that." For some reason she liked letters, so what the heck, we taught them to her. My son wasn't interested, so we didn't try to teach him.

P.S. It's funny how each generation changes the things they thought their parents could have done better. One generation thinks, I'm going to make sure my kids get a good education, then the next says, I'm not going to push too hard and let them be kids. I always wonder what my kids are going to say about me and what they'll decide to do totally differently.