Picky eater, trying new foods
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I'm so frustrated!! What used to be a really good eater has turned into Miss Picky America. As a 1-2 year old she ater tons of vegetables and some fruit (apples, oranges, peaches,and pineapple mostly). Over the last several months it just continually gets worse. I feel like she eats the SAME thing all the time. She will eat peas and broccoli occasionally, and now she barely finishes one apple once a week (used to eat 2 apples a day!)
Dinner is getting pickier all the time. I do NOT fix her anything separate. If she's really not eating anything at all at dinner, she can get an applesauce cup from the fridge but that's it. As a result she sometimes wakes up starving in the morning.
Also, she's getting worse about even tasting something. How much do you all really push trying something new? She used to taste, but now just simply refuses. We've tried to do rewards for tasting (sticker, praise) but she doesn't care now. Complete refusal. I find myself getting irritated with her for sure.
I worry about her nutrition. Meat is a thing of the past, and where she used to eat at least chicken, I've found that she's cut that about in half as well. I know that kids this age (was 3 in June) aren't known for good eating habits, but it's driving me crazy.
This is a vent but suggestions are welcome.  She is averaging MAYBE 1 fruit or vegetable/day (not one of each even!) I asked her ped at our 3 yr appt about vitamins. He said that she really doesn't need a vitamin as long as she is having cereal everyday because it's fortified so much. She DOES have at least a cup of dry cereal everyday. She really still likes munching on cheerios so I try to take advantage of that.She drinks 1% milk, a juice bag everyday (mostly for regularity), and tons of water. She also has a yogurt almost daily. (These are my little victories, LOL!)
Of course I just worry mostly, but breakfast and lunches are so mundane I can't believe she's still eating them. No variety whatsoever.
The joys of motherhood.....
Oh Hugs! I know this well and I don't really have an answer for you. My son is still picky. Helen is still willing to eat almost anything. It makes it hard at dinnertime.
One thing I try and do (I say try because I'm not really successful at it yet) is make food a non-issue. I put it on his plate. He eats or does not eat. I say nothing - not praise or cajoling. You are doing a good job with offering her the applesauce as an alternative.
If she likes to munch on the run, what about dicing grilled chicken (or even just nuggets) and giving them to her in a cup so she can graze as she likes, the same with veggies.
I know it's hard. I am sorry you are going through this. It is very frustrating.
As I said, I have no real answer, either.
Ame
Ditto Ame. DD can be a picky eater, but I've learned she eats much better if I make it a non issue. NO comments, just put the food at her place and don't say a thing. If she eats, fine, if she doesn't, no biggie. She has always been a grazer. She doesn't eat much at meals but will snack throughout the day on healthy foods. Our ped. and the dietician said this is actually a more healthy way to eat.
Also, watch what your DD eats over several days, as opposed to daily. My DD will go for days and seemingly eat hardly anything at all and then she'll chow and eat A LOT for a day or two. Totally normal. LOL!
DD has always been small for her age, so of course her eating has always been a concern. If we push the issue it becomes a power struggle and she won't eat at all. As I mentioned above, if we don't say anything, she'll eat on her own.
Several months ago I put DD back on whole milk because I didn't feel she was gaining enough weight. Our ped. agreed with me and thought that was a good idea.
{{{HUGS}}}
Ditto ditto! Food is a complete non-issue at our house. I serve whatever I make, and it's up to each child as to what they are going to eat or not. I don't even comment. I serve it up on their plates, and that's it. Sometimes they clean their plates, other times they leave something behind (they never eat the green beans).
We started making a big deal out of food when my oldest was around 2 or 3. Trying to get her to try new things, and pushing the fruits and veggies. It just turned into her refusing things, and acting out, because she could.
Once we backed off, things changed. Meal times have been pleasant ever since.
Kids aren't going to starve themselves to death. They'll eat when they are hungry.
One suggestion, since you said it was ok - lol, I wouldn't let her get an applesauce instead of eating dinner. That's almost like she is getting rewarded for not eating her dinner.
Ditoo everyone on the non-issue! I have 2 girls, one picky and one not. Everyone must take a no-thank-you bite of everything. I tell them that it is a matter of polite manners. They cannot yell "ewwww!" when they go to friends houses for dinner or restaurants with their friends when they are older. I explain that they must try a single no-thank-you bite of everything I serve at dinner, just as they cannot chew with their mouths open. When they were younger I told them that they must use their "princess manners". There are no seconds of anything until everything is tried. I do try to include something the picky one will eat in a meal.
I have found the hungrier they are, the better they eat. Large snack before dinner not always helpful. So I would serve a small snack then let them nibble on appetizers of cut up veggies (variety) with different dips while I am still finishing up fixing dinner.
Toothpicks or other different fun serving ideas can help.
Zucchini muffins are a favorite around here as is carrot souffle, spaghetti sauce with spinach in it, spinach tortellini...you get the idea. Have you heard of Jessica Seinfeld's new book, I think it is called Deceptively Delicious or something? All about pureeing veggies and hiding them in everyday foods, I have a friend who is using it and loving it, just for her whole family to get even more healthy veggies in.
Great advice above. I would serve her the applesauce with her meal. She'll at least eat that and it won't be an issue of rewarding her for not eating other things.
You might try letting her cook a meal chosen from a kid-friendly cookbook. I had all my kids in the kitchen, on different nights. They took pride in what they made for the family....and always ate what they made. I also would put a communal plate of melted cheese on toast on the table, cut in triangles or with a cookie cutter. I knew that the picky ones, for a particular meal, would at least eat some of that. With their milk, they would get enough calories, dairy and protein.
You could try a communal plate of sliced apples, different fruits or veggies with her favorite dipping sauce, which she can spoon by herself onto her plate.
Giving her more responsibility of serving herself, helping with the cooking and shopping for meals will give more control of what she eats taking the power-control-factor away from not eating at all.
Here's another idea: Buy an inexpensive picture book of foods. Cut out all the pictures and sort them into categories of fruits, veggies, snacks, dairy, meat, etc. Before you go to the market let her help pick the foods she can find in the store to eat. This helped me alot with my kids.
Remember, this too shall pass.
Thank you ladies! She does help to prepare dinner on some nights, and always sets the table. She actually eats well at meals for the most part, it's just that they are always the SAME. Breakfast is either Apple Jacks, pancakes, or blueberry waffles. We've tried countless cereals and actually does taste those but won't continue eating them. Lunch is always ravioli or PB&J with POSSIBLY a bit of apple or a yogurt IF I'm lucky. No variety whatsoever.
Dinner - she eats at dinner but not as much as she should, and only the unhealthy things! The mac & cheese, maybe a few bites of potato, some peas occasionally. Little to no meat. We have gone the opposite of ignoring it so far. She is to eat certain things before she leaves the table (3 bites of meat, for example). She will, it's just that it's exhausting.
She's never been a grazer. Eats meals, has one or two snacks during the day. Snacks are well before dinner so that's not an issue.
I like the idea of using 'princess manners' for new foods and how to respond by tasting. She used to be really good about tasting.
It's not that I think ignoring it is bad, I'm just torn on this one. There have been COUNTLESS times that she has not eaten but 2 bites of meal (lunch or dinner, always eats breafast). I give her one reminder that it is a long wait until snack time if she chooses to be done right now. (Halfway between lunch and dinner since it's a 6 hr stretch.) She will choose to be done, we go on, she's starving by snack time, doesn't seem to mind enough for her to change for future meals. She definitely doesn't get things between meals. I know that grazing is not a bad thing, I just prefer to stick to meals with a couple of light snacks in-between, so there are big meal routines around here. Always eat the same time.
Honestly I do the applesauce to add SOMETHING remotely healthy to the meal and to help fill her up. She's not always thrilled about it, so I don't think it's a reward. She never asks for it instead, never gets excited about it. Looks at it like 'well I guess this is the only alternative to eating what's on my plate'. Constantly looking around for something else to eat. No desserts or sweets unless she eats a good meal, then there's always a reward.
Junk food in our house consists of mostly graham-related snacks, cheese and crackers, and maybe a bag of iced cookies. It's like she's always longing for something I'm not giving her, but she doesn't even know what that is.
It's frustrating but nice to know I'm not alone. I have heard of Seinfeld's book and might check that out.
I used to say sometimes that my girlfriends' kids and my kids used to live on air, since they certainly weren't eating much. It always seemed that with all the meals that were barely eaten, that once in a while, they would eat food, like it was going out of style and it would kind of make up for the meals that weren't eaten. Our kids have all grown up to be teens and young adults, despite having their picky moments.
Ditto ALL the above and we are FAR from where we want to be. I posted before about Connor's eating habits and we are stilllllll eating cereal dry (no milk) and nothing hot/warm. He barely ate pizza at a birthday party but I wouldn't let him have cake/ice cream unless he had 3 "dinosaur bites". So, what does he do? He eats the crust only. Weird.
He'd be a happy kid if all I gave him were grapes, cheese crackers, apples, cheese sticks, yogurt, juice, chips, milk, and protein bars.
We've had to make it a non-issue too, even though it's VERY difficult. I get bored just SHOPPING for him! Things will change when she goes to school full time and she *has* to eat different things. Until then, the only advice is I can give is to withold food an hour before mealtime and wear the heck out of her to spike her hunger. That's the only thing that helps with Connor. That, and the non-issue...if he eats, he eats...but then again we do make his own plate of food because he refuses EVERYTHING we make. He says he likes it and says he'll eat it, but in the end, he won't.
Sorry, I just gave you a novel, but it's a touchy subject for most parents and I never mention it to others in public bc everyone has an opinion. Connor eats healthy, but you're right, it's the same same same things every day. If we force it, he'll just refuse it again even though he loved it after he tried it. (He did this with pineapple chunks last week.)
YOu know other animals eat the exact same food for every meal, every day. For survival we don't need variety. We do need calories though. Most kids eventually start eating other foods.
In general I agree with all else said. We feed our kids what we eat, they get a tablespoon or whatever (when toddlers). We never make an issue, but that is food. We did the applesauce or yogart if they were still hungry. They eventually will eat the new food.
I have a friend who has been fighting the food battle. Her son is 8, at least 2 years they have FOUGHT. Her advice in retrospect, was to quit making food a stressor. She always gave him extra stuff, now he pretty much lives on carbs and peanut butter.
That being said, no matter what you do, your children will develop preferences. 3 kids same rules same food. I have one that eats very little meat. I have one that eats only baked or grilled meat, plus seafood. I have one that would prefer everything fried with gravy. As for veggies, only my youngest loves veggies. He prefers salads to most other foods (over french fries any day). My dd will eat a few things, my middle kid -the fried food guy- only eats green beans and salad on rare occasion. Can you tell which one has a weight issue?
ahh parenting..oh so fun!
Classic example was tonight. We're still not sure if we did the right thing or not, but that's parenting I guess.
Had a Mexican casserole for dinner, a dish I fix only occasionally, maybe every couple of months or more. She's had it before and seemed to like it before. I also added a cup of applesauce. She ate most of the applesauce,2 bites of the casserole, half a cup of milk. Done. Did some minor hounding about eating, reminded her there are no desserts without the meal (Halloween cookies). I was not going to fix her anything else. She left the table, eating basically not a whole cup of applesauce and 2 bites of casserole for the whole night. She didn't complain, didn't have a snack at bedtime (which is rare anyway), nothing.
My softy mom side says I'm a meanie; my practical mom side says that if she were really hungry she would have said so. I'm finding this whole food thing to be a fine line. I was raised as a major Daddy's girl, one whose Daddy was the "SAHM" while my mom worked. (Pretty forward thinking for 32 yrs ago). Anyway, my dad waited on me hand and foot. If I didn't like it, I was prepared another full meal, whether it be after the fact or before everyone else's dinner. Major spoiled that way and I do NOT want her to be that way. Probably one reason why I may go overboard at times.
I tried not to 'fight' the situation tonight though and simply go with if you're done, you're excused. We'll see. Still second-guessing myself. Amen Kaye .....ahhhh parenting...oh so fun!
You did just perfect Deanna!
Another thing to mention that my kids' ped told me. You would be surprised at how little food a small child actually needs at a time. We really have skewed ways of thinking about this!
It's hard. And my son, who is now 8, and very small for his age, still eats very little. He is not a big meat eater at all! But I have found that he tends to eat meat better when it comes from the crock pot because it is so tender. Also, he loves tyson's canned white meat chicken. I use it a lot in cooking, and if it is something I know he won't eat much of, I simply save him a portion of the plain chicken and let him eat that. I'm not preparing him something different, he's just getting it before I add everything else to it!
He has severe stomach issues, so the decision was taken out of our hands about forcing him to eat more.
And I know it may not be popular with a lot of moms, but have you tried canned fruits? They have one with tons of cherries called Very Cherry that my son will eat. Also, if she likes ice cream or popsicles, maybe you can make a smoothie and freeze it into ice cream or popsicles! I've also heard of kids eating frozen peas (although I've never tried it). Mine do love frozen grapes, though you'd have to make sure to quarter them first... Hmmm...they also eat frozen bananas. There's something about frozen foods that are sometimes more appealing to kids! I know as a little girl, I loved frozen sliced apples and strawberries. And my kids always want blueberries frozen.
I know it's hard seeing them eat the same thing over and over and over, but essentially, it doesn't take much for little ones to get what they need, so try not to worry too much!
I think you did a great job! Adena had some more great ideas. Good luck today
I also think that you did just fine...do you notice that she is starving in the morning and then the hunger tapers off? That's how Connor is and I'm sooooo surprised he's not starving after his 2 hour nap! But, I've learned that there is a lot to what he DOESN'T eat in the fact that, if he consistently sees us eat it and talk about how good it is (not overly done), he'll eventually take part.
And, Deanna, my mom was the same way...made only the things we liked and now my brother refuses to eat fish to this day. It's all in the exposure...
Ugh, Heidi, I refuse to eat fish to this day! LOL! But I will eat broccoli and brussel sprouts! Does that count for something? Teehee!
I agree, no special meals. I also agree, no after dinner treat if you didn't eat dinner. It does seem the apple sauce doesn't seem much of a treat to her.
I read a couple of columns in the NYTimes about picky eaters, and one expert's comment struck me. The expert said that most children will eat almost anything until they start to be really, really mobile, and then become really picky eaters and won't try anything new. The expert suggests that this is a built-in reaction - that in caveman times, children who walked around outside the cave putting anything they found into their mouths quickly wound up sick or dead, and that our programming is that from about age 2 to about age 5 or 6 children generally shy away from anything new or different. I don't know, I'm just saying what I read. A couple of experts did say that "disguising" food (mixing some veggies into the cupcakes, etc.) may get the nutrients into your child but doesn't do a thing for getting them into the idea of eating those foods as they really are.
I know my pediatrician said, when I ran into this problem with my first at about age 2, that no child voluntarily starves. Put the food on the dish, sit the child down, eat your dinner, and when you're done, the meal is over, and nothing in between (even healthy snacks). Eventually the child will eat. And, that's the way it worked. For a couple of weeks he hardly ate anything for 5 meals and then ate the whole plateful and wanted seconds for the 6th meal, and by the end of a month he was eating a reasonable amount of everything on his plate at each meal with no fuss.
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