We've had Nico's potty since he was about 18 months and he would sit on it and go (pee) when we asked him to. Lately, he won't even do that. He just turned 28 months which I heard was the best time to start really training children. I really don't know how to start training him well, to where he understands the whole process. I know...bad mommy. I feel so behind on this one! I'm gonna go search the web on this topic but any advice would help. Is this a late start?

By Trina on Monday, July 28, 2003 - 04:18 pm:

NOT a bad mommy! My advice, after going through the process twice... Follow your DS's lead! Encourage him but never push or punish. He will train only when HE is ready, no matter what YOU do. If you push the issue too soon it will result in a power struggle and prolong training. BTDT! My DS (baby #1) didn't train until he was 4! In hind sight, I know we pushed the issue too much.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, July 28, 2003 - 05:00 pm:

My one daughter was almost 4. It's not that that she couldn't, she just didn't want to. Finally, she got a rash on her butt and told her she had to wear training pants so her skin could heal and pretty soon it was done. At that point, maybe we could have pushed a little harder. When it was done, it was done. Other daughter was 3 and a half. She wanted to wear underwear, so we let her. One day she pooped in her underwear and was horrified. She never did it again! LOL!

I guess I wasn't much of a pusher.

By Kaye on Monday, July 28, 2003 - 05:32 pm:

Okay I have three kids, we have had a very different experiences. BUT this is how you start. First decide if you think he is ready, does he indicate that he has gone, wants to be clean etc. If you decide that he is then, set a date. Include him, say hey Nico, I think you are such a big boy and you should get to wear big boy undies. Make a huge deal about it, go shopping etc. Make a calendar and say on this day we are going to say bye bye to diapers and only wear big boy undies. When you wake up that morning, plan a huge bye bye diaper party, make it a great day, and literally throw out the diapers. I suggest you hide them, just in case, but leave one or two for him to toss in the trash. Also have some pull ups for night time and nap time. And then flood your child with all the fluids you can. Let him wear just undies. The more you get him to pee, the more chances he has at success. Dr phil suggest you bribe with something like when you can wear big boy undies for a week you can have ----, or a call from -----. I have never done that, but sounds good to me. Anyway, every hour take him to the potty, have him sit or stand and read a book to him. If he doesn't go, take him in 15 minute intervals until he does. IF he has an accident, clean it up and say "oh no...we forgot, where does our pee pee go" ( or what ever word you use) And then make a fun game of it. Sit on the couch and say, lets practice. "oh I gotta pee pee" and run to the bathroom, with nico holding your hand. Do this 5 or more times each time he has an accident. This trains him what to do. If you can be really really consistent and really dedicate an entire two days your child will probably be potty trained. If by the end of two days you don't have quite a bit of success you need to back off and say you know what Nico, what do you think about taking a break from potty time, and then give him another month and try again. My daughter mostly trained herself, before I got here, so she was done in a day (2 1/2). My second child took two tries two weeks apart and then he was set at 26 months. I gave into the philosophy of don't push with my last child and finally at age 3 1/2 we had to push and push hard. He seemed to think that he didn't have to use the potty, but he was not going to be wet or dirty for more than one second, three mornings in a row of poop smeared on his carpet made me take control, but it was NOT pretty. My doc said if you want to train your child, do so before 30 months, if you want your child to lead expect a boy to potty train a little before age 4. Good luck!

By Nicosmom on Tuesday, July 29, 2003 - 01:24 am:

Wow thanks! Great advice from everyone. I saw that on Dr. Phil too, but the kids seemed a little bit older than Nico. I'm gonna do this. Wish me luck! Thanks!

By Semperspencer on Tuesday, July 29, 2003 - 11:17 pm:

Good Luck!

By Kernkate on Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - 07:59 am:

Great Advice, I thought I was the only one going thru a tough potty time. My DD Alissa will be 3 on Sept 27th and really has no interest in the potty. She did when she turned 2 and now it seems like she could care less. Yesterday while shopping we picked up some big girl underware, and put them on when we got home. I kept on asking her if she had to go to the potty and she said no. No sooner was she out on the front porch did she have a puddle by her I guess I will let her take the lead on this one. My other 2 boys were fully trained by 3...she is a tough one

By Lauram on Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - 08:10 am:

I agree with all posted here. I just wanted to add that IMHO it is vewry important to watch for those signs that your child is ready (physically) to do this. Dry diapers are a big one. Interest in the potty helps, but I wouldn't say in my experience that's the biggest factor. It's more a physical developmental ability to control. I also think 2 1/2 is a good age to start looking for the signs. If you don't see them , you may have to "look harder!" When they are ready, have a discussion and get rid of the diapers (as suggested). Don't use pull-ups either except in difficult situations (grocery store, long trips, nighttime at first). THe biofeedfack of the pee and the poop against the body is the second big motivational factor. They really don't like the feel of that and the diapers and pull-ups are so good now that they dont' really feel it as well. You'll have a "wet carpet" for about two weeks(summer is the optimal time to do this if it works for your child timingwise because they can just run around outside- but if you do that have a potty OUTSIDE!) but it really worked for us. All kids are different, so really listen to your child and watch him'her carefully for those signs. It sounds like you have a few months to look for cues from Nico!

By Laurazee on Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - 08:46 am:

My ds is 2 & 1/2 right now and shows no interest, doesn't want to take off his own clothes yet, and even debates with me whether or not he needs a diaper change or not ("No poop just pee") when I can smell otherwise.

I have been thinking, "Okay, I'll be patient, wait for signs, encourage it but don't push..."

We have a friend whose daughter is about a week older than ds, and she is fully potty trained. Whenever this little girl comes by, I always think "Egads, I've got to pick up the pace on this potty training thing. My kid's going to be in diapers at his PROM!"

Anyway, after reading the good advice above, I'm reassured that potty training varies from child to child. I guess it's also some comfort that his diapers only go up another size or so. We'll figure something out well before his prom.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - 08:59 am:

Kaye that was great advice. I will have to try that with Joey. He is 2 1/2 will turn 3 in November. He did very well for a while on the potty trainig stuff then i don't know what happened, but we both slacked off. Now i am trying to get him to start going on the potty again. The good thing is that he doesn't like having wet or poopy underpants. He even TELLS me after he goes in his underwear, now if i can only get him to tell me BEFORE he goes. I am going to try the throw away the diaper thing and see how it goes.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, July 30, 2003 - 02:42 pm:

Lauram, I'm positive that pull-ups delayed the inevitable for my older child. She didn't feel wet and wasn't motivated. When we finally stopped using the pull-ups, she was trained in a jiffy. I maybe only bought one pack of pull-ups for my younger child and it was so much easier. I just remember that we got The Princess and the Potty book from the library in the middle of August and before that book went back in the middle of September, she had been going potty for about 2 weeks.