Timmy is 13 months now and has 8 teeth for what seems like forever. He's learning to use them more and more. However, he is biting me and other family lately. This past weekend he bit me hard enough that he drew blood.

Everyone's first response has been to bite him back. I don't know though if at 13 months he would put two and two together to understand that biting hurts.

Any one have any suggestions or am I stuck with "bite him back"?

By Kate on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 04:40 pm:

I think the best thing to do is immediately, sternly say 'no biting' and then set him right down and walk away from him. Your lack of attention is his 'punishment' or discipline. I would do it each time it happens. I assume when he does it you're playing with him and being all loving and such, so suddenly being put down and ignored should be a needed jolt. I assume he's crawling, if not walking, so when he comes to find you I'd welcome him back lovingly and give him positive attention until he does it again. Good luck!

By Eve on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 05:10 pm:

Ditto what Kate said! Good luck!

By Gammiejoan on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 09:06 pm:

Kate's advice is very good. I have heard that biting them back works, but it didn't work with my grandson. My dil didn't really want to do it, but people kept telling her that he would never bite again if she would just bite him back once. Well, she finally tried it; and all it did was make her feel terribly guilty because he ended up with a bruise and kept right on biting.

By Feona on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 06:44 am:

I like Kate's suggestion!

He is so young. I couldn't do any of the hitting back with my son. He would laugh and think it was a biting or hitting game.

By Kittycat_26 on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 10:13 am:

That's good to know that not everyone believes in the biting back. I don't know if I have it in me to do that.

I'm going to try the suggestion of telling him no and walking away. Will this still work if he immediately follows me? At this stage of the game, I feel like a mommy duck with her little ones following her EVERYWHERE.

By Oliviasmom on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 11:30 am:

Interesting article:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t063900.asp

By Kaye on Friday, July 18, 2003 - 01:43 pm:

Think about why he is biting. Some of it is communication, some of it is probably new teeth and an oral habit. Make sure that you supply him with several teethers and when he bites, just say NO, loud and firm, say biting hurts mommy and then give him a teether and let him know where it is okay to bite.

By Kittycat_26 on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 11:14 am:

Thanks for all your help. Over the past few days I seem to have stopped the biting at home. I had talked to his daycare to let them know what had happened at home. The last thing I wanted to have happen was for him to bite one of the other kids. Prior to me talking to them, they had never said anything to me about this.

Now the past two days.......Friday and Monday, they have given me reports that he has tried, though unsuccessfully, to bite another child. I'm wondering now if they are just watching closer and interpreting everything as biting.

He kisses with his mouth open and everything goes into his mouth. This morning when I dropped him off a little girl was sitting next to him and he just plopped his mouth down onto the top of her head. I didn't interpret this as biting but the daycare provider told him "no biting".

Do I just let them sort this out there since I don't seem to be having a problem at home? I'm not sure how to help since I'm not there. Janet, who is the head of his class at daycare, is brand new. Her heart is in the right place but I also know that she doesn't have any kids of her own. Sometimes I feel that the class is run by the seat of its pants.

I'm open to anything at this point.

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 11:37 am:

i disagree with the bite him back thing. I would think that would teach him that biting is o.k. to do.

My son used to bite at about that age. And it did hurt. I would firmly tap him on the mouth and say "no biting". I wasn't hitting him or anything just taping his mouth so he knew what i was talking about. If that did'nt work, i put hiim in a "time out" in the pack n' play...once he climbed out of that i sat him in a chair. We were consistant. Eventually he stopped biting.

Sometimes he wasn't even biting to hurt you, he would just get excited or something and bite. I just kept telling him that it hurts and that he needs to be gentle.Giving him somthing that he is allowed to bite is a good idea too.

By Jewlz on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:15 pm:

Don't bite back. "But the child needs to learn that biting hurts," you may reason. Yes, but there's no way your child will decide that she shouldn't bite if you bite. Try this alternative tooth-for-tooth method: Take your child aside and ask her to let you show her how teeth feel on skin. Press your child's forearm against her upper teeth as if she were biting herself, not in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a point, "See, biting hurts!" Give this lesson immediately after he bites you or someone else. You want your child to learn to be sensitive to how others feel – an early lesson in empathy.

By Tonya on Tuesday, July 22, 2003 - 01:24 pm:

OK I know I will hear from everyone on this after I post but I bit back. Timmy thought he would start biting me and every time he did it I would say that hurt me and I would bite back and say see did it hurt you too. It only happened maybe 5-6 times and it stopped. The 5th or 6th time he did it in the end I think he did it just to see if I would bite back and when I did he would love on me and say sorry.

I did this when he pinched, pulled hair and hit. If you don't want me to hurt you then you don't hurt me. And each phase it only lasted a short while cause he didn't like getting hurt.