Today I took my ds to see Finding Nemo. It was his first movie, he did pretty well. A lady looked a little annoyed when he was walking around in the last row but what can you do?

On the way back I stopped at the bank. Something about banks just makes Nico go nuts. As soon as we get in there he wants to take off and run around. I usually just grab him and hold him best I can while he's squirming,kicking and lately yelling too.

The teller, a young woman, says: Is that your baby? I say "yes". She continues: One smack on the butt and he'll stop. I just told her that he's usually good. She said it one more time adding "I'm tellin you." I was embarassed! My kid was being a brat, I was all sweaty trying to contain him and people were all staring. And I was given unwanted advice! Please tell me that my child is not the only one who acts like this in public. He normally is very good, but he is nearing two and a half. It seems that I rarely see this happening to other mothers, but I know that cannot be true. I look very young for my age, so people always assume I am this young mother who's child is out of control. He doesn't do this often, but when he does it feels like everyone notices.

By Kate on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 08:26 pm:

Of course Nico isn't the only child like that, Dana!! He'd just spent about two hours in a dark theatre and then the car, and the bank must have seemed like bright freedom to him! I'm sure he was just dying to stretch his legs and be noisy!! Even without the movie beforehand, many many many 'normally good' kids do this, including my own. That teller was very rude and needed to mind her own business. Trying to tell you how to raise your child was out of line. Try not to sweat it, every child embarrasses their mother at one time or another, and most do it on a regular basis. You were doing the best you could and Nico was just being two and a half. You know he's a good little boy and that's all that counts.

By Joan on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 08:27 pm:

You are not alone! At 2 and a half children are'nt always going to act "good" in public! My oldest is 6 and my youngest is almost 4 and they have their moments too.
I don't think I'd take comments well from strangers telling me how to raise MY kids. Most people who have something like that to say usually don't have kids themselves. I've seen mothers with children acting up in public and I feel for them because it happens to us all. That person had no right to tell you how to disipline your child! When they are that age it is hard sometimes to get them to act a certain way.
Again you are not alone.


Mara

By Melanie on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 08:50 pm:

My children would never dream of acting like that.

LOL, okay, I could not even type that with a straight face!! Seriously, don't let it bother you. When I am out and I see someone else's child acting that way I am just relieved it's not mine doing it at that particular moment. Because I know I've been there myself! If that teller or anyone else tries to give you unwanted advice, just smile and say, "Thank you for sharing." LOL. Don't bother trying to explain his behavior away. It's not worth your energy. (((HUG)))

By Sunny on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 09:36 pm:

You are in very good company! LOL Every parent who takes their child out in public goes through it!

As for unwanted advice, especially from strangers, I let it go in one ear and out the other.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 10:08 pm:

Totally normal - the wild child and the rude comments from strangers.

Course, it's a damned if you do and damned if you don't sort of thing. Had you actually spanked him, someone could have called CPS on you. So what are ya going to do?

I went for humor, responding by saying, "It's embarrassing being me" or something like that and, of course, tried not to take him anywhere. They mature.

By Nicosmom on Tuesday, July 15, 2003 - 10:42 pm:

Thanks for the advice. I know I shouldn't have even given that teller a thought. You're right, she probably has no kids herself...but wait till she does! I just needed some reasurance that I do not have the worst toddler in the universe!

By Ginnyk on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 04:15 am:

Been there, done that. As for the teller, if I thought fast enough (no guarantee I would), I'd say something like "I don't believe in violence against young children." Anyone who thinks s/he has the cure for an acting up child has never had a child - I guarantee that. Only people who are not raising children are so certain they have "the right answer". My experience was that a swat on the butt produced tears, more yells, more wiggling, and more embarassment.

I remember being at the Flower Show with my then 2 year old sleeping in the stroller, and a man reached over and pulled his thumb out of his mouth and said "don't let him suck his thumb". That time I did think fast enough, and said "don't put your hands on my child".

If you rarely see this with other mothers, you must not go to the supermarket very often, or the mall, or any other public place.

He probably used up all his "being good" for the movie, and just had to be a 2-1/2 year old child for a while - unhappily for you, you had to go to the bank. Bad combination, but you know that.

Cheer up, you are definitely not alone, and he will outgrow it (and grow into other, equally aggravating behaviors). Oh, the joys of parenthood!

By Feonad on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 05:31 am:

Perfectly normal behavior. I wear dark sunglasses all the time so no one would dare say anything about my son.

I just let ds wander around the bank since it is small, but my ds is 3 1/2 so....

I just tell people healthy kids are opinionated and active.

By Beth on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 09:16 am:

Trust me when I say you are not alone!!! My dd is the same age and she can be hell on wheels!! Actually she rarely gets to go to the store. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. She can either be really good or bad it depends on her day. I remeber one day in Walmart very vividly. She likes to sit down and not move when she gets mad. She decided to do this right in front of the door. Me with my hands full. I got all the dirty stares you can imagine. So don't feel bad. As for that teller she needed to mind her own business. What about the drive thru. That is the way I always go.

By Trina on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 09:26 am:

Oh my, you are SO not alone! Ditto what everyone said above. Exactly why I use the Drive thru at my bank.

By Tonya on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 09:36 am:

Heck I don't even know what the inside of the bank looks like it has been so long since I have been in there.

If it has a drive up window (drug store, fastfood, bank) I use it or I do my running on my lunch break at work so I have no child to tag along with me.

By Mommyof4 on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 02:50 pm:

I have four dds and by the time my last hit the 2 1/2 stage I pretty much became immune to those types of comments although I may have said to the teller that if she thinks that giving a little smack helps with behavior then maybe I should give her one first to see if her behavior improved any before trying it out on my child.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 03:41 pm:

Mommyof4, I couldn't help but laugh at your comment about smacking the teller. As Timmy gets older, I'll have to remember that as I'm sure I'll get lots of unsolicited advice.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 08:29 pm:

Oh please! I feel like my son (2.5) is like this everytime we go somewhere. trying to hold him so i can sign a receipt or something while he is kicking and hitting and screaming. You are totally not alone. But sometimes i do feel like you, because i never see anyone else with a kid doing that. Sometimes i wish i would, just so i could feel better about my situation LOL!

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 08:29 pm:

Oh, I can see you were never with me when I had a toddler old enough to run, but not obedient enough to stay with me, at the library. Of course, she would shriek, too! Argh! LOL! She was probably 18 months to two! She thought it was so funny to run away from me! At the store, it would be the same thing! When I see kids acting up, I'm always so glad it's not me anymore! Been there, done that! (P.S. They grow up way too fast and get out of those stages before you know it!)

By Nicosmom on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:04 am:

Thanks a lot girls..I feel so much better!

By Ginnyk on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 03:23 am:

Some 3:00 a.m. thinking - a useful comment for situations like this - I won't tell you how to raise your children if you don't tell me how to raise mine.

By Oliviasmom on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 10:20 am:

I recommend "The Discipline Book" By Dr. Sears

Here's his website: http://www.askdrsears.com/

It's a husband/wife team. He's an OB; she's an OB nurse. They have a million kids, okay maybe 6 or 7 and their books are awesome. She is the discplinarian and as she puts it, she spends more time trying to be a step ahead of the kids so that insstances like you describe don't happen....cause they will!! They happen to all of us.

Don't be too hard on your child, he's only 2.5 yrs old. he doesn't know what's proper behaviour. It's your job to teach him, but age appropriateness is #1. You will have to be firm and consistent. I go thru the "rules" prior to anything we do with the kids. They know, that if they break a rule, we leave wherever we are, and they are not allowed back there for a while until they can behave. It works for shopping, the park, church, someon's house etc. But you have to:

(1) Be firm;
(2) Always Follow through

By Merno on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 12:52 pm:

Geez it is good to know you aren't alone. Sometimes my Ds can be so good at a public place...then there are all the other times. He doesn't mind the mall, until we actually go into a store, then you'd think I was torturing him. I wish I had a dime for everytime someone has said (oh so sweetly) "Aw, honey are you just so tired of shopping." To which I reply, "Well, considering he just woke up from a nap, just ate lunch and we just got here, no he isn't tired of shopping"

My favorite is when he decides to sit down in the parking lot because I insist on holding his hand as we walk.

I agree, it is those without kids who will pipe in on advice first. Anyone with kids has been in our shoes. When I see a mom with a screaming kid I first feel sympathy for her and second feel grateful that it isn't my kid this time. I have learned to ignore the looks and try to ignore the comments.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 01:21 pm:

Merno, i know what you mean. People have made the "are you tired of shopping" comment to me too. I'm like "uh, no that can't be it, we just got here"

My least favorite 2-yr-old thing is when he arches his back when i am trying to buckle him in the car seat because HE wants to do it BY HISSELF, yet he takes forever to calm down and get in the seat---this is especially a bad thing when it is raining, cold, windy etc.

Most people (obviously parents) just smile..probably thinking "thank goodness that's not me".

By Susan10 on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 02:00 pm:

I HATE that when people say such things like the teller did. Anyone who says their toddler always behaves in public is lying. She's a kook, and should be ignored.

By Eve on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 05:14 pm:

Oh yes, indeed! Just yesterday! LOL! We went to the store to pick up dessert for a playdate/lunch and Sydney informed me she was not getting out of the car. LOL! She woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was like that ALL day! They ALL have moments like that! Just ignore dumb comments! I do! LOL!

By Bobbie on Thursday, July 17, 2003 - 11:18 pm:

I don't listen to anything anyone has to say about my children. Especially strangers. I know who my kids are and what they can handle. I also found while they were younger if I prewarned them about activities they did better. I found myself repeating the days plans over and over again. Which in a pinch would help to redirect them if they started to act up. But when they knew what was going to come next they seemed to do better because if they didn't they didn't get to do whatever was planned next. Even if it ment going home and going back to town after DH was home to keep them.