My kids, mainly DS, have been having some sort of night terrors since DH left. I don't know what to do anymore. My DD usually "crib surfs" herself back to sleep if her brother wakes her, but tonight she's the one who is up and screaming. I am bottle breaking them soon, I've cut out the morning bottle, but I'm afraid this is going to get worse when I take the night bottle away. I can't do anything to comfort them, except hold them, and I can't hold them both. We had a few good nights in the past week, but tonight it starts again. Shane usually wakes up 4 or 5 times a night, and sometimes he will not go back to sleep at all. I'm really at a loss!! Well, Maddie calmed down, she's still whimpering, so maybe it's over for now. Shane is the one who screams, but I know Maddie wakes up frequently too, because I hear her crib banging on the wall quite a few times a night. She's crying again. They have slept through the night since they were 2 months old until recently. Giving them separate rooms is not an option, the military will only give us a 2 bedroom house until they are older. On the worst nights Shane will end up in my room in the playpen, but I was told not to do that, because it rewards his waking up. They don't have a nightlight, but they each have a Fisher Price Aquarium on their crib that plays music, water sounds and lights. They know how to turn it on. I'm probably not making much sense, but it's after 2 AM, so I'm exhausted. Any advice would be appreciated. This is going to be a long deployment, and if this is happening because Dada is gone, I'm not going to make it!!! TIA...

By Ginnyk on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 05:58 am:

A coworker's son, about 3, is having night terrors and she has looked into it. I will ask her when I get to work today.

By Colette on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 06:45 am:

My dk's used to do this right before they hit a developmental milestone or when they were teething. I hope you get some sleep soon.

By Trina on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 06:49 am:

It could be Night Terrors, but at their age it's most likely teething. My DS was going through the Night Terror thing the same time DD was teething. Both were up often at night so I can relate. {{{Crystal}}} Ear infections also cause sleep disturbances.

An article about Night Terrors
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlersleep/142.html

By Palmbchprincess on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 07:04 am:

Thanks for the responses. From the link Trina posted, I guess they aren't night terrors. They wake up completely and are fine as long as I am holding them. They just won't let me put them down or go back to sleep. (Once again, more so Shane than Maddie.) I don't think this is teething, because they were teething well before this started. I'm almost sure it has something to do with John being gone. It started around the time he left. And right now no new teeth are coming in. After 2 months of this, I'm really concerned. No physical problems, we just saw the pediatrician Monday. I pulled an all-nighter because they continued waking up most of the night. One of the biggest problems is them sharing a room. If one's up so is the other. It's going to really suck when I have work 6pm-2:30am today. Ah well, I'm young, might as well do it while I still can. ;)

By Kittycat_26 on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 08:54 am:

If I remember correctly, didn't Shane and Maddie just turn one?

We've just gone through some real changes with Timmy as far as sleeping and just plain how he copes with things. My pediatrician said that most likely he was getting his 1 year molars in. I did question them because he didn't have problems with any his other EIGHT teeth that came through. What they told me was that molars are different and much tougher on the baby.

Just a thought.

By Karen55 on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 09:06 am:

Crystal, there are so many different beliefs/opinions/theories on bottle-breaking and sleep arrangements. It pretty much boils down to what YOU believe is the right thing to do for you and your kids.

I know many people who completely bottle-broke their kids by age 1. Madison never took a bottle, since Jules nursed her to age 2 and when she started giving her other liquids, she used a straw or a cup. I personally didn't push the bottle breaking for my own reasons.

As for them waking up in the middle of the night, I always found the same thing as Colette, teething or a developmental milestone would cause mine to wake up, as well as illness or night terrors. Another thing that I firmly believe in is that if you are very stressed out/nervous/frazzled/overwhelmed, your kids, no matter what age, pick up on that. There's no way they can understand or comprehend any of it, but it affects them too.

You're at a stressful time in your life, your DH is overseas, the kids are a year old and obviously going through one developmental milestone after another right now, and if they are teething and cutting any of those *harder* teeth like molars, that could affect their sleep cycle.

You have a situation with them that is similar to what I had when Jeff and Jen were toddlers - sharing the same room. I have a 4 b/r house, but at that time Jules and Jason were at home, so the *babies* had to share a room. When one woke up, the other one followed shortly. I tried putting a gate up and letting them cry, but NONE of us got any sleep, and for us, it was very non-productive.

You will have to use your own judgment on this. I personally don't feel that a lot of those rules for kids that age are written in stone, and I don't see it as a problem to put one of them in the playpen, or in the bed with you occasionally at this point. Maybe you should hold off on the bottle breaking at this point. If you try to make too many changes and/or reinforce too many *rules* at once, sometimes none of what you were hoping to accomplish happens.

I guess I haven't really offered any helpful suggestions after all of this though.......but you're right, you ARE young, and you will get through this. Good luck!

By Palmbchprincess on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 10:43 am:

LOL @ Karen... you did have good points. I don't mind the occasional trip to the playpen for Shane, but then he stands there and SCREAMS at me while I try to sleep. I tried bringing him into my bed and he beat me up crawling all over me. And yes Kitty, they did just turn 1. I am going to bottle break them when I start them on milk, because I feel it will be easier now than later. This sleep problem has been going on since they were 10 months, and doesn't seem to be letting up. They have their good days and their bad. When it started I figured it was teeth or a growth spurt, but the longer it goes on the more convinced I am that it's related to the deployment. I have a big picture of all of us on the back of their door, and we say night night to dada every night. I think my next step is a nightlight. The problem is there are only 2 outlets in the room, and both are behind a crib. LOL... I'll have to figure something out. I guess my original post was more of a frantic vent, because in my sane state I know there isn't much that can be done for this. Let's all hope they outgrow it soon, or I may go nuts... and I have to help Amy deliver her baby. I can't do that from the psych ward. LOL! Oh, the joys of parenthood!!!

By Tonya on Thursday, June 12, 2003 - 03:11 pm:

Crystal have you thought about a battery operated touch light for their room. It will be brighter than their crib toy thing and it iwll maybe help. We gave one to Timmy when he was 2 and if he thought e needed it at night he would just touch it and it would come on.

Good luck.

By Kaye on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 01:05 am:

Hmmm....i think that I would have to figure out how to get him to sleep in bed with you! It seems that he is lacking comfort, if it is related to dad being gone (which I think you are right on) then really what he is looking for is that mom is still there. If he is just way too wild for co sleeping, then can you figure out a way to attach a bed/playpen adjacent to yours? If you could move him into your room, maybe maddie will sleep better? Good luck!

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 02:13 pm:

Kaye,
I would love to let him sleep with me, if he could calm down. He definately can't be in my bed, he is too rowdy. I have put him in a playpen next to my bed, and he pulls at me, screams, and tries to play with anything in reach. But I will try again next time he is really upset at night, and see if it works. Thanks all for the advice!!!

By Trina on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 03:46 pm:

Crystal, my friend who has 16 mos. old twins is having the same problem. Her twin son is the one having more problems also. She has a Pac-n-Play in her room and puts her son in it at night so that her twin DD's sleep won't be disturbed. Her DH travels a lot for work, and she said it most often happens when Daddy is away. She said she's tried everything but sometimes just has to let DS scream in the Pac'n'Play next to her until he falls asleep. UG! How very frustrating!

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, June 13, 2003 - 04:01 pm:

Thank you Trina, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Last night was a good night, we have been having more good lately. John may be gone until next April, so it will be a long year! I wonder why it's our DSs that are having this more... it's very interesting that it happens when our husbands are away. I really appreciate you sharing that though!