"Mommy, I have no friends "

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: "Mommy, I have no friends "

I know there have been several "about friends" posts on here since the beginning of the school year. Here is yet another one.

My ds is in 1st grade. Every day he comes home and says he has no friends and no one will play with him on the playground. I have gone through several different scenarios with him, trying to sort of teach him how to make friends. He of course does not like any of the idea i give him. I have named a few different kids that I think are nice and that maybe he'd want to play with, he tells me he doesn't like what those kids like. Usually it's wrestling. The kids are into that WWF wrestling stuff and ds doesn't like that stuff. (thank God for that ). He tells me that he sits by himself out on the playground and in the cafeteria. It just breaks my heart. He cries about it a lot too.

Is it stupid for me to call the teacher and see if there is anything she can do for him? Maybe nudge another kid his way?

Opinions and any help would be greatly appreciated.

By Tink on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 09:35 am:

Definitely talk to his teacher. He's been in school long enough that friendships could have been developing naturally and he may need a little push. She may be able to pair him up with a child with similar interests for partner work or she may be able to relieve your fears and tell you that he's sitting with someone at lunch and playing with them at recess. It may just not be the group that J wants to be friends with. Not that we've dealt with anything like that here. *eyeroll*

If only we could take all their hurt away for them...

By Vicki on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 09:38 am:

I think I would call and talk to her and see what she is observing. What he sees through his eyes could be different than what she is seeing.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 09:43 am:

I agree. I'm going to put a call in to her today and talk to her. I hope she can do something for him.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 11:22 am:

I would also call and find out her version of what she's seeing at school. I hope things get better for him soon.

By Tarable on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 11:39 am:

Definately call.. I had similar problems with my DD whens he was in 2nd grade I think it was.
Good Luck!

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 11:47 am:

Aw, poor guy...maybe he might befriend someone in a smaller setting, like on a weekend playdate?

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 01:10 pm:

I called the school. The teacher will probably call back once school is out.

I was talking to dh about this. It's kind of weird because when we go to the park and he plays on the playground, he has no problem making friends. I"m talking, EVERYTIME we go to the playground he makes friends in an instant.

This morning I asked him who he played with last year. He said N. Unfortunatly N changed schools this year. He is now in the "Zenith" program at another school. It's for kids who learn faster than other children. My ds was also invited to go to this program but we didn't want to have him change schools and not be in the same school as his sister. We didn't really think it would be a big deal to keep him at his present school. But now he is also complaining that school is boring and he wants to learn the "hard stuff". He's really not being challenged at the school he is at. We have a feeling we made a mistake keeping him at this school and not putting him in the Zenith program.
I'm thinking we may need to put him in this other school so he can be challenged more. He really is very bored in 1st grade so far. The stuff they are doing is very easy for him. So i may bring that up to the teacher when she calls back.

oh the joys of parenting! LOL

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 03:28 pm:

I just spoke with the teacher. She said that he isn't left out in class, he is always picked early on when people have to pick partners.
She was surprised to hear he was feeling sad and left out at recess time. But said that she would definitely have a generic talk with the students tomorrow about inviting other kids to play with them.

She said that if he still feels that way in a few weeks, to give her a call back and we will think of something else to do to help him out.

By Tunnia on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 05:01 pm:

Poor little guy! Sounds like he has a good teacher though. I hope he has new little friends to play with soon.

By Tklinreston on Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - 06:25 pm:

When I read your post I felt teary-eyed, so I can't imagine how your feeling. Being the mom of a preschooler and a 2nd grader it breaks my heart to hear about any child who feels left out and alone. My four year after staying home all this time just started preschool in September and he is having a hard time adjusting. He only has one friend there but she is moving away soon. He cries and fights going every morning, so I can relate to you. I'm glad you spoke to the teacher. I would have definitely called and as Heidi mentioned maybe you could invite one of his schoolmate over for a playdate soon. I'm planning on doing that for my ds soon. Best of luck to you and your son!

By Bellajoe on Thursday, September 27, 2007 - 08:15 am:

I forgot to mention that she also realizes that 1st grade kids don't usually invite children to play with them. They run around on the play ground and are having fun, they don't stop and recognize when someone is sitting all alone. They are sort of all about themselves at this age. So she is also going to tell the kids not to wait to be invited, just to go ahead and join the other kids in their play.

Hopefully her little speech will work