I feel like I'm going crazy.
I still have 12 weeks of this pregnancy to go and I already feel like I can't take it anymore.
I always felt good during my other pregnancies, but not this time.
I'm very stressed. We are trying to buy our first home-which is'nt going well. I'm always tired and my house is suffering badly.
I'm dealing with my ds being held back in kindergarten.
I have pregnancy induced corpel tunnel and I can't feel the fingers on my left hand.
We have NOTHING ready for this baby! I sold everything we had 2 years ago because we thought we were done, now I have nothing. Oh, I take that back, we have 2 bibs and 1 onesie! That is all, no bed, no clothes, nothing and that stresses me.
I just want to cry all the time.
I know it is my hormones, but I feel like everything is wrong, everything and everyone is on my nerves
I only work 3 days a week. But the thing is on those days I stand for 6 hours straight, and have to walk around back and forth. I can only sit for 15 min. out of the 6 hours and I may sound wimpy, but it really sucks! My feet and legs swell on the days I work and I feel like jumping down everyones throat at work!
I want to tell my boss that I need to take off NOW and come back after the baby, but I'm afraid that it is too early and I will be seen as lazy.
I really don't care what they think in a way, but in a way I do care.
I'm just under a lot of stress. That can't be good for me and the baby.
I'm going to tell my boss today that I just can't do it anymore right now.
I feel like a bad person for doing it, but it will make my life so much easier until the baby comes. This is the first time I've ever worked while pregnant and I don't like it

Thanks for listening.....
Mara

By Semperspencer on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 02:15 pm:

Mara, I know how you feel. I worked retail during my first pregnancy up until I was almost 8 mos pregnant. The last month there was during Christmas season in the mall! I had to work though, because I really needed the money. I did the same for my second pregnancy, worked retail in the mall up until I was 6 months pregnant, then my husband joined the military so that was the end of that. I just know I was miserable working, always standing up, moving around, etc. If you can afford to take off now, do it! It will give you time for yourself to relax and prepare the house and yourself for the new baby. You won't have much relaxing time once the little one is born. So, why not? If you are going to receive maternity leave pay from your employer though, you need to make sure that you would still receive it if you took off early. Most companies only pay maternity leave money after you are so far along. So check that out.

As far as baby needs, check local consignment shops, thrift stores, etc for good deals...see if you can borrow from friends and family who still may have baby furniture, clothes, etc.

You need to relax now, reduce as much stress as you can. If you don't you could hurt yourself and the baby, as I'm sure you know. I would definitely take the time off to reduce your stress and take time for yourself.

By Tunnia on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 02:17 pm:

(((Mara))) Can you ask your doctor for a note requesting that you are not on your feet all the time at work?

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 02:18 pm:

Honey, don't feel bad for leaving work so early!!! YOU and YOUR BABY are all that matter. You are not lazy, you are pregnant, with a family at home to take care of, and a job that could very well compromise your baby's health and your own. And besides, would you rather have SOME idiots think you are lazy and be healthy, or work your butt to the point of pre-eclampsia or some other complication. I for one do not think you are lazy, you are doing the right thing, girl!!!! One thing you didn't mention in your post was how it would affect you financially. I hope that means it will have little affect, but regardless, you are doing what's best!!! (((((Mara)))))

By Susan10 on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 02:21 pm:

Wow, standing all day is really hard, even when you're not pregnant. I don't think you sound like you're being lazy. That sounds tough. Sorry I don't have any good advice about your job, just sympathy. About not having anything ready for the baby, I say don't worry about it. I think people really go overboard these days with all the stuff! My daughter slept in a travel bed, which I was literally putting together while I was having labor pains (we were living in Germany at the time). She didn't have the pink walls and the fancy linen, and I don't think she noticed. Who needs a changing table? A bed or the floor works just fine. Some clothes would obviously be nice, though. Do you have any family or friends whose kids have grown out of the baby stuff?

By Joan on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 02:38 pm:

Thanks for the fast responses
To answer some of the questions...
I won't receive maternatiy pay anyway, because I only work part time. Yes, the extra money with me working helps out but we can make it without it.
I can't ask for a sit down job because I work in a grocery store deli and I have to be able to wait on customers and use the slicers and they won't allow me to work with a restriction anyway.
As for getting family hand-me-downs, the youngest child in the family (besides mine) is 6 years old and that stuff was already given to me with my last baby.
So I will be visiting a lot of yard sales and thrift shops very soon I don't mind at all using used items as long as they are clean. Babies don't use them long anyway, and really it's a waste of money to buy it all new since this will be our last child.
Thanks for the support in my choosing not to continue working. I really needed someone to tell me that it was okay
I think it will help me cut down on stress and give me the much needed time to prepare. I have a 6 and 3 year old at home and sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope as it is! I need to relax now until the new baby, I really don't know what I'm in for with 3

Mara

By Claire on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 03:05 pm:

Joan do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

By Claire on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 03:06 pm:

oops Mara sorry lol

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 03:50 pm:

Mara, I wanted to second that about not neing all fancied up with preparations for the baby. We didn't get cribs for the twins until the were 3 months old, and almost everything they have was given to me. I bought a lot of used clothes, and hand me downs were and still are great. Do you think the baby cares if it has a matching diaper holder to it's crib set, with ruffle curtains and a mural on the wall? I also agree about the changing table. Never had one, never will. Nor do we have dressers for the kids. Their clothes are in a 6 pocket hanging thing in their closets. They each have one. We do have shelves above each of their cribs, but thats because we have an abundance of stuffed animals. All you need is a crib, a few sheets for the crib, a monitor, and some clothes. Diapers and stuff like that of course, but there is no need to go all out. If you do feel the need to decorate you can buy stick on decals for the walls in the theme of your choice, or what I bought, a set of pooh cardboard hanging murals. Eyeore plays the winnie the pooh theme when you press the spot on his belly. Voila!!! Nursery complete!!! ((((Mara))))

By Trina on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 04:50 pm:

{{{Mara}}} If you're not up for working, give it up NOW. I was teaching Gr. 3 on the 2nd floor (no elevator) when pregnant with DS. He was due in August, and by May it was very difficult for me to stand on my feet all day. Going up and down the stairs repeatedly also did a number on me! LOL! I tried to be a trooper. My students, sweethearts that they were, really looked out for me. One afternoon while teaching a lesson my legs were throbbing and I was SO uncomfortable. One of my students (Felicity) quietly got up and rolled my desk chair over, smiled and motioned for me to sit down. "Mrs. G, We don't mind if you sit down while teaching." I gave her a hug and continued the lesson while sitting. For the remainder of the year the kids took turns getting my chair when THEY thought I needed it. When school got out in June I was very ready to stop working, and my baby wasn't due until August. My long winded point is... It's not too early, and you're not being lazy!

I agree second hand baby things are perfectly fine for the most part. My SIL, Eve, inherited our baby stuff. However, with car seats, playpens, strollers, etc. it's important to research for recalls, etc.. Guidelines for using second hand car seats can be seen here:
Used child safety seat checklist


Recalls:
CPSC - Recalls

By Annie2 on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 04:55 pm:

I agree that babies have no idea what they are wearing, what they are sleeping in, if they have their own room or not.
Take the time off if you can and relax. Enjoy your pregnancy and your older kids. Give them extra quality time just for them. Build up extra strength to nourish the baby you are growing inside of you. Your body is growing a human being. Of course you are tired, of course you are stressed, follow your instincts.
I am not sure which mom posted this idea but it struck a cord with me, I will paraphrase:
I thought I wanted to have another baby. What I really want is for my children to be babies again.
This is how I feel. Live in the moment. Nine months is a very short time and they do not stay babies forever.
Good luck and keep us posted.

By Dana on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 08:20 am:

How are you feeling today?

And for my advice...listen to your body moaning for rest! Stop working. You will be so glad you took time out. Each passing day is gone forever, wouldn't you rather spend them loving your body, baby and children instead of working?

Forget how you felt w/ the other pregnancies, this is a new and different one, your body has changed and has different needs.

No call into to work and give notice. Then prop your feet up and enjoy.

By Mechelle on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 12:11 pm:

(((((HUGS))))))))

Kick your feet up and relax, you and that baby need it!!

I do agree with all the rest, the baby isn't gonna know any difference between brand new stuff or used.

With my DS we were dirt poor!! He didn't have his first baby bed until he was 3 months old, then it fell apart, he slept in a play pen, (one of those big ones) until he was a year old, and my Grand Father bought him a baby bed.
We didn't have fancy things, he didn't care, he did have nice clothes though......If you can afford it....take the break away, you need it!!

By Ginnyk on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 01:55 pm:

By all means, quit your paid job (which, as we all know, doesn't mean that you quit working - just that you quit doing work you get paid for).

You say "only" 28 weeks pregnant - which, as you note, means that you are more than 2/3 of the way there. No wonder you are tired.

Definitely - quit, no guilt feelings, no looking back. You are overloaded and need to ease up somewhere. Since you can't send dh or the other dks back, the paid job has to be the one to go.

By Joan on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 02:20 pm:

I'm going to put in my 2 week notice today. I'm going to relax more and enjoy this pregnancy. This will be my last baby and I want to remember the pregnancy as a great time like I do with my other kids. Thanks again for the support I'm going to start my yard sale hunting this weekend for baby stuff. It's really hard not knowing if this baby is a boy or a girl, so I'll just have to buy neutral things.

Mara
Hopefully 2 weeks from now I will feel better about everything.

By Ginnyk on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 08:00 pm:

Mara, I went back and re-read your original post, and I am really glad you are putting in your notice. If your feet and legs are swelling and you are having carpal tunnel problems, you really, really need to not be doing this job - standing and running slicers, etc.

I agree - thrift shops, Salvation Army, Good Will, whatever - the baby won't care and yes, they outgrow this stuff so fast. Don't forget garage sales. Believe me, your child won't care one little bit, but s/he will care if mommy is just too tired and worn out from working up until the last minute. Especially these days, when you are out of the hospital within 48 hours of delivery (when mine were born, the rule was 5-7 days in the hospital after delivery - that shows how old I am).

And put the word around - you probably have friends, or friends of friends, who would be delighted to know about someone who needs baby things. I know one of the people in our office has a 6 month old baby, and two other co-workers have been happily off-loading no longer needed items on him for the baby.

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 08:28 pm:

Mara...check out e-bay for great deals on baby clothes. There are tons of things on there that are in great shape. Search for: "3 months girl" or "3 months boy"....depending on which it is and what size you are looking for. Just watch the shipping charges. I've bought a few things on there that I've been really pleased with.
(((((hugs)))) Enjoy your time off!

By Dana on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 09:33 pm:

So glad you are giving notice. I'm sure you will find lots of help finding the needed baby items. Things always have a way of working out.