I will probably sound completely stupid here but I am no expert on penises (boy, I'm having trouble with my spelling tonight). Anyway, ds is 3.5 and is not circumcised. My friend said when you pull back the foreskin the head of the penis should show. She said her son's wasn't and that the doctor said he needed to be circumcised. Of course, she doesn't live by me so I can't get her to come over and have a look. Can anyone explain to me if I should be concerned? Sorry, if I appear stupid..it's not an act...I really am!

By Sunny on Friday, April 18, 2003 - 11:42 pm:

All my boys were circumcised, so I did a search and found this http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/

Foreskin Retraction: As noted, the foreskin and glans develop as one tissue. Separation will evolve over time. It should not be forced. When will separation occur? Each child is different. Separation may occur before birth; this is rare. It may take a few days, weeks, months, or even years. This is normal. Although many foreskins will retract by age 5, there is no need for concern even after a longer period. [1984 version only: No harm will come in leaving the foreskin alone.] Some boys do not attain full retractability of the foreskin until adolescence.

If you're still not sure, ask the doctor at his next visit.

By Feona on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 07:31 am:

"It is not healthy to force back the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis: it will do this on its own when your son is 3 or 4 years old"


http://www.duke.edu/~bkc/html/webdoc2.htm

By Feona on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 07:32 am:

Paula,

I would get two or three opinions on circumcision at 3 years old! Ouch I am sure!

By Ginnyk on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 01:14 pm:

I don't know why women should be expected to be experts on male organs, so I don't think you are stupid. Particularly in this age, when most male babies are circumcized at the hospital after birth, a whole lot of people out there don't have much knowledge about how to deal with foreskins. Certainly I , with a circumsized ex and three sons ditto, wouldn't know unless I did some research (which I did a little bit when a similar question came up on the board a few months ago).
I think the advice you have gotten above, from Sunny and Feona, and the link to Duke University from Feona, are your best source. The little I have read agrees that unless there is a problem of some kind, don't try to force things. And absolutely don't get into a cleanliness fit and try to "clean" or "wash" under the edges of the foreskin - that can lead to exactly the kinds of problems you want to avoid.
Mother Nature has a way of dealing with these things quite successfully. After all, circumcision being the norm among non-Semitic peoples is really fairly recent, and men seem to have managed quite well for centuries without medical intervention.

By Ginnyk on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 01:17 pm:

And, by the way, how much does your dh know about female organs and their problems other than the commercials about PMS? I'd be very surprised if he knows much - most men don't, and they don't consider themselves stupid, but just "normal men".

By Susan10 on Sunday, April 20, 2003 - 03:20 am:

Beware, this is kind of graphic...
Great question, Paula. My son is 10 and not circumcised. I really hope we made the right decision, because it seems like most people still have their boys circumcised. About a year or 2 ago I read about pulling back the skin and cleaning, so I told my son to try it in the shower. (My husband knows less about this than I do, because he's circumcised and doesn't read all the health books.) After the shower he said his penis hurt from trying to move the skin, so I got really worried. I too had read about how you shouldn't force it and if it was too tight he might need circumcision. Anyway, about 2 months ago I told him to try again. By now he's way past the age they say you should start cleaning (I read that you should start at about 5). I explained how it could get 'gunky' and I drew him a picture and everything. This time it worked, he said it was pretty gunky (sorry about the graphics) and now he cleans all the time. So, if your son is only 3.5, I'd relax for a while.

By Paulas on Sunday, April 20, 2003 - 09:23 pm:

Thanks girls! Now that we have had some advice, my husband and I will stop trying to retract the foreskin. I have to admit, we have both tried a few times each. Hopefully, there will not be anyn permanent damage. It wouldn't retract, yet. He is 3.5 but judging from the comments here I don't have to worry for quite some time. Thanks ladies...you guys are great!