What age would you allow your child to go to a skating rink (or mall, movie, etc.) without adult supervision? Does it matter if the venue is a mile away or 5 miles away?

My 11 yr old is upset with me because I told him he was too young to go to a skating rink with his friend by themselves. I wasn't comfortable with the other mom leaving them there because the rink is 5 miles away and I don't think he is ready to be on his own in places like that. I told him to wait a few years. What do you think?

By Annie2 on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 07:26 pm:

My DD is 11 soon to be 12. I would not feel comfortable leaving her in a public place without an adult that I know being present.
She is my oldest so I don't know what age I would feel at ease with leaving one of my kids on their own. I just know, 11, is too young, for my family.
Curious to have some opinions from other moms, too.

By Mechelle on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 09:32 pm:

My Ds is 8 yrs old. NO WAY would I ever turn that boy loose in a mall w/ or w/o friends in a mall. With an adult present, (maybe)

Skating rink, yes.(Just here recently about a month ago, I FINALLY let him go with my friend's two boys)
Because the skating rink we have here, (its about 5-10min away from us,) it's ran by Adults, and the man is very strict He's had this skating rink open for 30 yrs. I remember my Dad taking me when I was a kid.
But anyway he keeps a good eye out on the kids, the rink is not big at all.
Plus Chris knows if he gets hurt, or tired, he can always call home, or our cell phone (we tell him which one to call) and we will come get him.
95% of parents just drop thier kids off there, some stay and skate, some stay, and just sit around. But there is adults everywhere, I know the man pretty well that owns the place, so I dont mind to leave him (with friends there)

By Mommyathome on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 10:38 pm:

My oldest is only 4, so I don't really have any experience with older kids. But, I will say that as of right now, I don't plan on letting my kids be dropped off to be alone at a skating rink or anywhere else until they are extremely mature.

We live in Utah, and the Elizabeth Smart case is still pretty fresh on my mind. There are so many kidnappings etc. that I just don't plan on risking it.

By Dana on Friday, April 11, 2003 - 11:12 pm:

Well, I have not clue how I will feel when DD reaches that age. However, when I was a kid all I ever heard about happening at skating rinks was kids bringing alcohol and getting drunk. Or smoking pot and cigarettes.

I never went alone until I was in college LOL. I wasn't aloud to do a lot of stuff until I got in college

By Ginnyk on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 09:12 am:

I would suggest that you go to the skating rink yourself and observe how it is run - what kinds of people use it, how good is the supervision, what provisions do they have in place if someone gets hurt, are there pay phones where you son can call home collect if he needs you.

And, what about his friends? Are they fairly nice, well-behaved boys who won't look for trouble? Is there one or more in the group who will try to urge the rest of them into breaking rules, doing something foolish?

A mall - well, I never allowed my sons, at any age, to go to a mall with friends. At about 16, I think, they could go to a mall if they had a specific shopping goal and went either with a brother, by themselves, or with one friend whom I knew and trusted. I think a group of kids in a mall is just an opportunity for trouble.

A movie - depends. I tend to think 11 is too young without at least one parent present. Entirely too many kids, not enough adults, and most movie theaters don't do much of anything about supervision as far as I can tell. So I would feel it not a good idea.

By Colette on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 11:06 am:

My dd just turned 12 and I wouldnt be comfortable leaving her at a mall or a skating rink or the movies.

By Babysitbarb on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 03:35 pm:

My DD is just 14 and we have just started letting her go to places with out us. She has gone to the movies with our niece, who is also 14 and some friends. One of us adults drop them off and pick them up. My SIL only lives like 3 blocks from the movie theather. I don't think we have ever just left them at the skating rink yet, because my fear is if they fell and got hurt and then they couldn't get a hold of us. Just around Christmas we met another SIL, BIL and cousins at the mall and we let our girls (14& 10)run around with them for a little bit. My nieces are 15 & 16.Believe I worried the whole time.

By Karen55 on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 03:47 pm:

When mine were in jr. high I started letting them go to the movies with a group of kids without an adult with them. But let me say this, I didn't drop them off and go home and forget about them. The theatre that I let them go to was small, in a small neighborhood, and I was shopping right next door. Once they were in high school I let them go alone with friends to the movie theatre at the mall, and to skating rinks. The issue of Jeff being alone in a mall never came up because he has always HATED the mall. And Jen was never one to want to just hang out at the mall. The only time she ever goes there is to shop and when she's done, she's ready to leave.

By Semperspencer on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 04:29 pm:

I will be honest here about what went on with me when I went places with friends / boyfriends alone. I started being able to go to the mall with friends alone at about age 13. Basically we shopped around, talked, giggled, and looked at boys, that's about it. Worse case scenario, I exchanged phone numbers with a boy, maybe once or twice. I think I will let my child go to the mall alone between the ages of 12 and 14 depending on maturity and types of friends they will be going with.

I went on my first "date" with a boy to the movies when I was 12, my dad dropped us off and picked us up. The worst that happened then was holding hands. At about age 13 came kissing in the theater. I'm just being honest here, I was never "slutty", it's just that this is about the age the "kissing" phase for me came about. Keep in mind, that nowadays this starts A LOT earlier.

I was NEVER allowed in a skating rink alone, without some adult there, whether it be a friends parent or a camp counselor. By the time I would have been allowed to go alone, I had no interest in going. My experience with skating rinks is that they are filled with trouble. When I went as a kid, I saw smoking, drugs, serious making out sessions, etc. Kids often go "out back" to do these things and get into trouble. This is my own personal experience, and I'm sure it's different depending on location of the skating rink.

Age 11 is still probably too young to worry about him/her doing anything wrong, but things have been starting earlier in recent years. As far as worrying about him/her being kidnapped, I would just make sure he was with a large group of kids. Though I do think 11 may be a little to young to be left unsupervised. I would just use your judgement and gut instinct about this.

By Sunny on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 07:02 pm:

I find everyone's point of view interesting and am relieved that I'm not the only one who thinks that 11 is still a little too young. My son just turned 11 in Jan. and his friend won't turn 11 until next month. I remember not being able to go to those kinds of places until I was 12, but I also think I was more mature at 11-12 than my son is. I started going to the skating rink with friends every Friday or Saturday night when I was 12, but it was only a 1/2 mile away and I could (and did) walk home. I also remember it being a place where smoking, fighting and a lot of interaction with the opposite sex took place. But, it was The Place to be during that time. It only lasted as a skating rink for 3 years; now it's a Pep Boys. :P

My son didn't stay upset for long. We actually had a nice night at home watching the new Harry Potter DVD.

By Mechelle on Saturday, April 12, 2003 - 11:20 pm:

I will add this, the skating rink, my Ds goes to (maybe once a month) NO SMOKING, POT, BEER, anything is allowed on the premises. If you are caught skating fast, you have to sit out. There are *Whistle Blowers* that skate around the rink, and monitor everyone. First time you are caught pushing, shoving, or playing tag etc. you sit out (no games or anything) for 10 min.



IF you leave, you don't come back in. ( this policy is mainly for Teens that drive) Little kids are not allowed to leave unless thier parents are there. Like I said, this man is very very strict ANYONE that leaves, better have a parent waiting for them, or this man is making some phone calls. My Ds is never allowed to leave, cause the man knows, I walk in the building at 9:00 to get him. So he has to stay there.


The 2 boys my Son goes with are well behaved kids, not looking for trouble.

This is the only place my Son is allowed to go, without me. YES I do pop in from time, to time to see how he is doing, and he's always standing at the arcade games, droppin in quarters.. lol

By Semperspencer on Sunday, April 13, 2003 - 03:25 am:

Yes, I'm sure there are skating rinks like the one Mechelles DS goes to. I would just check out the environment BEFORE agreeing to drop your child off there unsupervised.