Let me just say first that I almost posted this anonymously because I just don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about me. But I didn't want to hide like I am doing something wrong either. I am just curious if you have opposite sex kids how long you let them or if ever take a bath together. My dk's are 2 and 4.5. They have always bathed together, mostly just for time and convience. But they do like to play in the bath tub they have a basket of toys. Neither one of them seems real interested in what the other is doing. I guess getting dressed also goes along the same lines. I usually superivse help them both get dressed each day, in the living room.

My mom and I were talking this weekend and she thinks maybe my ds is getting to old. That when he starts kindergarten he could innocently say something about it that someone could take wrong. I can agree with that, my thoughts now are we will start this summer or fall before school starts. I just wondered what others opinions are. I guess I never gave it much thought to when small children should start having modesty? Maybe I have been way to naive here.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 02:58 pm:

Two of my girls are 9 and 7. They still take a shower or bath with their 5 year old brother. Not everytime, but when we are pressed for time or they want to play in the water. Sometimes for hours, still!!!
When children start to show modesty toward their siblings or go beyond the normal curiousity/ questions, then it is time to bathe them separately.
Young kids do not focus on genitals. They are too busy trying to get the bathroom floor full of water!

By Annie2 on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:03 pm:

PS. I'm glad you didn't go anon. Many women here have been there, done that; BTDT' on so many topics, also. We are here for each other.
You are doing great to have a concern about your kiddies. You are focused. Keep up the good work!!!

By Melanie on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:04 pm:

I agree with Annie 100%!

By Karen55 on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:07 pm:

I used to bathe mine together sometimes when they were very young, but I quit doing that at 3/4 y/o.

By Babysitbarb on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:24 pm:

I agree with Annie also, Until they start being curious about what the other one has or doesn't have. I think as long as it's not made a big deal of then it's not a problem.

By Trina on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 04:06 pm:

DS is 6.5 and DD is 4.5, and they still bathe together. However, recently they have started to request bathing or showering alone, but only because the tub is getting too small for the both of them to play. LOL! Neither of them has yet to show any signs of modesty. Until then I'm not worried about it. I agree with Annie!

By Mechelle on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 08:49 pm:

My two Dk's are 6, and 8.......they are very very "Don't look at me!!!!!!!" Cover thier selves the best they can.
I stopped letting them have bath together about a year ago.........I always seen it was one boy one girl, is why I seperated them. Same sex, I wouldn't have given it much thought until now when they (cover thierselves)

They do occasionally take a bath together, when I am pressed for time, I make them sit back to back. That way they can't see each others private parts (they would flip if they seen each other LOL) Abbie calls it (when they take back to back baths together "Butt to Butt episodes!" ROFL!! Instead of back to back episodes, I guess that tells me my kiddos watch too much tv...........LOL

By Tunnia on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 11:47 am:

My dd is almost 7 and my ds is almost 3 and they stopped taking baths together about two months ago. The reason was because dd asked to start taking showers and baths by herself. We respected that and they haven't bathed together since. I have also stopped taking showers with my ds within the past few weeks because he is starting to make the "I'm a boy and you're a girl" connection. I knew it was time when he said, "Mommy, where'd your penis go?" LOL

By Mechelle on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 12:59 pm:

ROFL!!!!!! Tunnia....thats too cute "Mommy, where'd your penis go?"

By Beth on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 02:07 pm:

Thanks ladies for all the great advice. I really thought everyone would say that it was to old! I am glad not to be in the minority here. I think my dh will be glad to because he is the one that baths them during the week. (I work second) He didn't seem real thrilled about doing it all twice. I think I will still start to taper it off some this summer but let them tell me when they are ready. I think the bigger deal made of it the more they will want to be curious. Thanks again Ladies!

By Ginnyk on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 07:33 pm:

Personal opinion - when they start noticing that there is a difference, they should not bathe together and should be allowed (in fact, encouraged) privacy when dressing/undressing.

My thinking is that (a) it is very important for children to develop a sense of privacy, especially about their private parts, and (b) children want to touch, and you don't want your child to be touching the private parts of an opposite sex child (even or especially a sibling) or allowing anyone to touch his/her privates. I have a strong feeling that by bathing them together there is a tendency to reduce their sense of privacy and the importance of privacy about their bodies.

I also agree with your Mom's reasoning - heaven knows children will say the most personal and private things in the worst possible places (see the thread about names for private parts for examples).

And, I also applaud you for not going Anonymous.

Interestingly, yesterday some of the younger women in my office (which is all of them) were discussing the issue of children walking in when mom is in the bathroom or in her bedroom and naked. One mom has clear rules and her children absolutely don't. The other mom in this discussion has, imo, very bright and very spoiled children, and both her 2-1/2 year old and her 5 year old walk in on her in bathroom and bedroom without knocking and she "doesn't know how to stop them". (I kept my mouth firmly shut at this point, because she is a great co-worker, we share a workspace and a printer, and I really like her a lot - but oh my!)

Personal note: my brother and I shared a bedroom until I was 12 and he was 11 (we were very, very poor - really). But we were never naked or even in underwear in front of each other in my memory, which goes back to about age 3 or 4. My parents were very particular about this (this was in the early 1940s and 50s). I remember that my dad always slept nude, and always kept a pair of shorts next to the bed so that if he had to get up suddenly he could put the shorts on before he got out of bed. It's sort of interesting - nudity in front of some of the opposite sex was really a taboo, but that was a period of communal same sex showers after gym in school, which was entirely OK.

By Mommyathome on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 10:47 pm:

My DK's are female-4, female-3, and male-1. They always bathe together just for times sake.

Interestingly, when we have any type of company....family or otherwise...my 2 DD's are extremely modest and careful about their privacy when dressing etc.