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Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2003: TV in kids room?
Sydney is 2. Now, before you say "no way" hear me out and then I'd love some feedback.
Eve,
Timmy is 4 and he received a TV/VCR combo for Christmas right after his 2nd B-day. He loves it and so do I. He has all of his movies in his room and watches whatever he wants whenever he wants. He is good with his videos and is responsible to the point he knows only 1 out at a time and he puts them away where they belong before pulling another one out. He also has a rewinder that he is good about using.
My sons ages 6 and 3 share a room. They have a tv that I had when I was a teen and a old vcr that was given to us. There is no cable hookup, just vcr only. I'd say that they probebly only watch 1 or 2 movies in there per day. On the weekends they are allowed to watch it when they go to sleep, but on school nights there is no tv at bedtime. My 3 yr old has just now gotten to be responsible with having it. In the past it has had stuff stuck inside it like smaller toys and french fries were always a favorite to stick in it
Eve,
We have a small TV/VCR that floats around the house. Sometimes it's in DD's room, sometimes DS's, but it's home base is in the guest room. We don't want it to be a permanent fixture in either of the kid's rooms. Partly because we don't think it's a good idea but also because we have 2 kids and we're not going to buy another TV/VCR. LOL! Neither of my kids nap any longer but I did let them watch kid videos in their room if/when they were having a hard time settling down for nap. Never hooked it up to cable because we didn't even want to go there. Too difficult to monitor appropriate viewing. They will occasionally ask to watch videos in their rooms when they want to watch something different or when friends are over. I see no problem with that. However, we never allow them to watch videos in their room at bed time. We personally don't think that would be a good habit to get into. Bed time is time for sleeping. Knowing DD, she would be a zombie watching TV all night. NOT a good thing! LOL!
We have thought about doing the same thing and chose not to for several reasons. First plain and simple kids watch way too much TV, the AAP recommends only about and hour a day for chidren 5 and up and less for younger. WOW! I know my kids watch more than that, but I sure try to limit alot more. Studies are showing that children who watch less TV are overall more creative, more attentive, less violent etc. Families who have the TV on all day just for the noise typically are less productive. There is a big program called turn off the TV for a week, I am sure they have a website. We do this at least once a year, I am amazed by the difference in my kids. I honestly wish I could just go TV free, but it is way to convienent. Anyway, the short answer is I would try to find some other ways to make her comfortable in her room, the TV works and it is easy, but easy isn't always the best!
I wouldn't do it. My dk's are almost 7 and 3 (their birthdays are within the next few days) and I would not even consider putting a tv in their rooms. I just don't think that young children need to have tv that accessable. I know a couple who gave their children a tv/vcr combo starting when their oldest was 3 and those little girls are up all night because they have to have a movie playing at all times. When a movie stops they wake up, get up and put another one in. IMO, that can't be good for them. I may change my mind as my dks reach the teen years, but maybe not because I think it would promote time spent alone and not with the family. My children enjoy laying in bed with us and watching tv too, but for our children it is a treat, not the norm. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything, but it sounds like your little girl is training you very well to cater to her wants (not necessarily needs). If you want her to sleep in her room by herself, then make her. You are the parent and you should be the one in charge and you shouldn't feel the need to bribe or beg. Gee, can you tell that I am old school in my parenting style?
My kids do not and probably will not have a tv in their rooms. When they are in their rooms they read, color, play games, build, etc. I'd rather not put a tv in there and wreck a good thing. LOL. And at bedtime they go to sleep. They have never depended on something external to help settle themselves down.
Eve, Jackie is right, everyone is going to have different opinions on this! lol
Whatever "extras" my kids have in their bedrooms are privleges, not necessities. I consider TVs, Video games, etc privleges that come with conditions. It doesn't work with my kids when they are young, but the older boys know this. My oldest has a TV, but he also gets up for school without problem and sees to his responsibilities.
Dd has had a tv in her playroom since she was little. If we didn't have a playroom, I would have probably put one in her bedroom, but I would not use it to fall asleep to. That is just one more habit. Your trying right now to replace a habit. Even if it works for the short term, you have to think long term. When she starts school, are you going to let her fall asleep to the tv? No matter what time it is?? What is she scared of? If it is monsters, put a flashlight in a basket by her bed along with a bell that she can ring or something. My honest opinion, if you want her to start sleeping alone in her bed, you need to find out the issues and deal with them. Not create new habits like you sleeping with her in her bed or putting a tv in her room. I see nothing wrong with a tv in her room so that mom and dad don't have to watch Nick all the time!! But wouldn't do it to try to fix other issues!
My dh and I decided when our first child was born (19 years ago) that we would not put a TV in our children's bedrooms while they were young. We have stuck with that with all 3 children. We have 2 family TV's, my mom has hers, and we finally allowed our 17 yr old dd to have one of the extra TV's in her room.
No tv's in bedrooms here either. We are considering buying a tv/dvd player for the times that dh and I want to watch a movie and the kids want to watch a different movie, but it wouldnt be a permanent fixture in anyones room. My older 2 go to bed at 8p and read til 9p to relax and my youngest has a story read to her to relax her and then she goes to sleep. This works for us, but you need to do what works for your family. Good luck!
Eve,
We have only 1 TV in the house because our thinking is that bedrooms are for sleeping (and playing...even for the adults LOL) only. I personally don't want my children watching TV unsupervised (ages 6 and 9) and I agree with the others that kids see too much TV anyway. We actually go TV-free for the month of August every year and no one watches TV during that time...even babysitters and guests. I pretty much agree with Melanie's post completely. Also with Sydney's sleeping issues you still aren't getting to the root of the problem by putting a TV in her room. She will ultimately still need to learn ways to soothe and calm herself to get to sleep without depending on external people or things. I firmly believe that good sleepers are made not born--LOL. At any rate I also echo Melanie's sentiment that you are not a bad parent if you do put a TV in your child's room. My sons' friends have wonderful parents and most of those kids have TVs in their rooms. It always comes down to what will be best for your family, your child's personality, etc.
We have a TV and VCR in both of the girls rooms and we have a TV in our room. My oldest has had her's since age 5 and I think the younger one got her's around that age. The VCR's are old one's but, they can watch movies on them.My youngest also has play station hooked to her's that she bought with her own money. The TV's in their rooms are the first things they get grounded from if they are in trouble.It works for us. Sometimes I get onto them about if they are watching the same thing we are then they should just watch it in the same room but, I also know what it's like to want to be by yourself once and a while.
Buy a small tv/vcr combo for your kitchen. They are under $100. But do not give it to Sydney as a present, that way it is not hers. Put it in the kitchen. One night when she does not want to stay in bed offer her YOUR kitchen tv to help her sleep. See if it lulls her to sleep. Believe me, the tv has given me the 1/2 hour before bedtime help, many of times.
Annie's suggestion is great. My daughter got her TV at 5 yrs. when we moved from my parents home into our own (first home) was a single parent then...but she was used to my TV in my room at mom & dads so I gave her that one when my husband & I bought a larger TV for our new home. She is very responsible about watching Tv, it does help her get ready for bed. She will watch TV or read from 8-830p then its lights out and she knows she needs the sleep. I think it may help your little one to have that comfort, background noise ect. Just remember to turn it off as soon as she's ready for bed. So she doesn't think it needs to stay on thru the night, she could become dependant on the all night tube. My 18 month old falls asleep nearly everynight after watching Lilo & Stitch for 15 minutes.
Well, between DH and I and two households we had, we have enough TVs for each room in our house, including the bathroom (but we don't have one there). Not to mention the fact that DH can repair this stuff when the owners prefer to just get a new one. So we have several to choose from.
Thanks for all the input. It's nice to know what works for all of you. I guess I need to think on it more. If we did put a tv, I would just want it for her videos, no cable.
When my two youngest were babies, we had one of those "attach to the crib rail" cassette players, and it we put in "A child's gift of lullabys"...we could hear it through the baby monitor, so even WE got used to sleeping with it on, lol! Maybe you could try a cassette or CD player with some soothing music in her room? That way, she wouldn't be encouraged to "pay attention to what's going on on the tv screen" but could just drift off on her own.
No TV. Read books.
Here it will be never. I don't see the value of it, I think it is setting a bad precedent if you put it in there now you will never get it out. When she is older you need to know what she is watching, now you control it, then you won't be able to as easily. Plus it gives kids a reason to hole up in their rooms when they are older something most of them don't need another reason to do. I think you are trading one problem for another if you do this.
No TV's in our DK's rooms. And, it will stay that way at our house. I agree with Melissa saying that I don't see the value of it. My DK's have plenty of books and games and toys that they are free to play with at any time. We have a TV in our bedroom, and if the kids are sick etc., they get to lay in our bed and watch TV. We also have a TV in the family room which is just one big room with the dining area and kitchen. That TV is always on kid friendly channels when it's on.
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