At 4 and 1 year old???? Seriously!?!? I don't even know how to react and i'm sure telling Kaitlyn how much of a bad sister she is and sending her to her room 200 times a day isn't right. But i'm literally going crazy over this.

She is SO spiteful and MEAN to Nathan. Snatching toys away from him, hitting him, pushing him down, smacking him in the face, scratching him.... the list goes on. I don't know how to handle it though. I'm like a broken recorder over and over and over again. I seriously can't WAIT until she starts school!

Where do I start? How do I handle it? What do I do when she does these things (90% of the time out of nowhere and for no reason)? I'm lost and bitter towards her because i've never watched her be so mean to anyone... ever!

By Chai~latte on Monday, August 6, 2007 - 02:36 pm:

My children are 18 months apart and we've been dealing with this as soon as the second child could sit up.

I recently read an article that helped me quite a bit here's a bit of what they said:
~~~
Family Dynamics
We tend to think of sibling conflicts as a problem that exists in isolation from other family dynamics; however, recent research suggests otherwise. According to a study out of Penn State, sibling relationships mirror parent-child relationships. In other words, if there is conflict between a parent and a child there will likely be problems between siblings; conversely, more peaceful parent-child relationships promote more harmonious sibling relationships. In essence, this means that ironing out problems with your child will mean better relationships between siblings.
~~~

I found this to be true for our family. I find when the relationship with my oldest and I is contentious he tends to pick at his younger brother. It becomes a vicious cycle. It's difficult for the older child as many times as mothers we are focused on the younger children as they tend to need more assistance. I try really hard to spend quality alone time with my oldest and encourage loving behavior between both children.

I feel for you, it's tough when you see your children being mean to each other; our expectation is that they should love each other.

By Curlysmama on Thursday, August 16, 2007 - 10:00 am:

My daughter's attitude changed when I was still in the hospital with my son! And they still fight and bicker to this day!(now ages 9 & 5) But they also love eachother and have plenty of times where they play nicely with each other. I guess it's just a normal reaction with the first born, Maybe she needs just a little bit more attention from you without the baby around. (easier said than done, I know)Or maybe you can have her do things for you so she feels like she has a "job" to do too. Maybe as the baby gets older, and can play with her, and interact with her, things will shift..Unfortunately I think this is a normal and life-long thing. My one and only brother would still like to send me on a permanent vacation and he's 40 and I'm 32!! Oh well