Ok, Sydney just turned 2. We had her in her big girl bed and packed up the crib. She was doing SOOO well. (FYI-She was never a great sleeper and always in bed with us.) She would get up a few times before settling down for the night, but she would never cry or fuss. No big deal. We had our routine and life was good....

Well, my stepfather died and we ended up at my Mom's for near 2 weeks. Nowhere to put Syd by herself, so she was sleeping with us again.

Then, we come home and Syd has fluid in her ears. We go to the Dr. to get it checked and she picks up a virus! Throwing up with a lovely fever. Then, that turned into a cold. Which DH and I caught! So, this is week #3 of someone being sick!

Now, the problem...
She wanted comfort when she was sick from us and was asking to go to our bed. We started saying "no" and she pretty much stayed in her bed ok. Then, the throwing up. We went through sheets in every single room! So, we went to the guest bed and then finally to our bed, because by that time we were sick and were in no mood to argue with a screaming 2 yr old.

Now, she won't sleep in her bed. I slept one night with her and she woke up 6 TIMES! She has regressed to waking and wanting "MEEELLLK!" (Milk) Which was another huge issue we had worked past. So, now we are just trying to figure out how to get her back in bed. She's not in a crib, so she gets up and screams at the door and bangs and screams some more.

Seth, see, deal with this early! LOL!

Can I let her cry at the door and sleep on her rug? Do I just sleep with her every night to get her in there? I'd love any suggestions you have. Or else any experience you have had with this.

Thanks!

By Colette on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 08:35 pm:

ugh, poor sleep deprived you. I would try being consistant and walking her back to her bed, tucking her in and if she needs it, give her a cup of water. Since everyone has been sick I wouldnt let her cry at the door and sleep on the rug. Eventually, if you keep walking her back to bed, she will stay there and sleep through the night again. I hope you and dh feel better soon.

By Trina on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 09:22 pm:

{{{EVE}}} I'm sure I've shared this with you but... We went through this with B after she had pneumonia. As you know, CIO doesn't work with her, so DH and I took turns lying down with her in her room. Full size beds are great for that! LOL! It was a long process, I'd say about 3 mos., by the time we were gradually able to tuck her in and leave. Good luck! I *know* how frustrating it is.

By Melissa on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 11:10 pm:

Well, I guess it depends how much you want her to go in her bed and sleep there, period. I had lots issues with all this and Lexi from about 2 til pretty recently (she's 5) not that it was a battle the whole time. It was just til she was about 3.5 I was sure I was doing it wrong. She always went to bed in a crib and did fine but at about 2 she started wanting me to lie down with her or wanted to sleep with me ( dh works nights) Everyone had lots of opinions on this but I just did it, I laid with her at night or I'd let her sleep with me. I'd keep offering now and then for her to go to sleep with music or on her own but she didn't like it. Yes, I could have let her cry it out and eventually I'd have won, but that just seemed wrong to me, all she wanted was me, why was that a crime? For us this worked better than for a lot of people, probably b/c my dh does work nights. Now at 5 she loves her own bed goes to sleep on her own about 75% of the time and the rest I'll lay with her if she wants, she is extremely confident, outgoing and can spend the night at her friends houses with no problems. So in hindsight I wish I had just done what I felt was right with out second guessing myself, they aren't little for that long and if I have another baby I would do it again if that is what the child seemed to need. It's funny b/c my sister is so go in your room and go to bed with her kids this made her crazy! I still get snide comments about it from her but in the next breath she is commenting on how much Lexi listens when I speak to her, and how when she is upset I can talk her down very quickly. I think a lot of that is b/c I listened to her and respected what she needed. That's not to say this would be best for everyone, you have to look at your whole lifestyle to decide this, but once you do decide don't beat yourself up about it.

By Eve on Friday, March 21, 2003 - 08:25 am:

Thanks, ladies. Well, we all huddled in Syd's bed last night. She woke up pretty happy. I had gotten up and moved to my own bed and DH had gone to work, so she woke alone and was fine.

Colette, the walking her back to bed used to work fine, but not anymore. She FREAKS! HUGE tantrums. Her face is red and she is screaming and trying to pull us towards the door. Last night, she calmed down when I just kept saying "I'm sorry, I know this is hard." She stopped and climbed into bed.

Trina, we were trying to avoid getting into bed with her, but it looks like it's the only thing that will get her started in the right direction. Thanks, it's nice to know we aren't the only ones that have had to do it! LOL!

Melissa, I couldn't agree with you more!! That's why she slept with us pretty much since she was born. We did the Ferber thing when she was 6 months old and tried periodically to get her into her own bed. It's just never worked and left me feeling awful. She actually started to WANT to nap in her big girl bed. (A full size bed I set up even when her crib was in the room.) Then, it was a natural progression to her sleeping in her big girl bed at night too. She did so well!!

I also enjoyed having a few hours to myself at night. Otherwise, she is with me 24/7 with no break. I never minded before, because I didn't know what I was missing. LOL!

As for making her feel listened to, I am really trying to stick to the "Love and Logic" parenting. I give her a zillion choices everyday and I am VERY empathetic to everything, even when we discipline.

Boy, all I can say is, I had no idea parenting was SOOO challenging! Thank heaven for all the rewards-- hugs and kisses! Syd also called me "Sweet and pretty!" LOL! Gotta love that kid!

By Pamt on Friday, March 21, 2003 - 08:56 am:

My youngest had this problem when we transitioned to the big boy bed. He had always been a great sleeper before then. I always recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Children" by Marc Weissbluth, but it is a "cry-it-out" method. However, with the big bed issue here's what I did and it worked in 3 days. Noah wouldn't leave his room and get in bed with us b/c he had never slept with us, but he would get out of bed and play or tantrum at his door. So...we would bathe, read, snuggle, etc. and do the whole bedtime routine. Then I would kiss him, tuck him in, and say goodnight. I would close his door to a crack and then sit right outside of his door. The minute I heard his feet touch the floor I would get up and put him right into bed. The crucial thing is no lecturing, no talking, no heavy sighing, or sense that you are frustrated (which you will be). Just matter-of-factly put him back into bed, said goodnight, and stationed myself again right outside the door. I'll bet the first night I put him back into bed between 70-80 times in an hour or so, but he finally feel asleep in his bed. Yes, I was agitated and frustrated but tried my best not to convey it to him and just acted like it was no big deal. The next night same thing...back to bed about 40-50 times. The third night about 10 times and on the 4th night no problems and ended with a happily ever after. The key is that consistency and responding immediately when she gets out of bed.

I actually find this method works well with other things. As a speech therapist I have several toddlers who have been diagnosed with hearing losses. When they get their hearing aids the parents will complain that the kids won't wear them. Well, of course, the kids hate them---they feel weird and they make everything sound loud which they aren't used to. I usually spend 1 whole 45 minute therapy session doing nothing but putting hearing aids back in. The child will snatch them out and throw them on the floor and I put them in again...repeat scenario a billion more times. However, if the parent does the same at home within 2-3 days the child wears the aids and begins to understand how they help. Same priniciple---over and over with no lecture, reprimanding, or sympathizing. It really does work to get the message across.

Hope you get this solved soon!! It is SO important to have some quiet mommy time and some quiet mommy-daddy time too. Hugs!

By Eve on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 12:45 pm:

BUMP!

Thanks, Pam. Consistency worked before. It's a lot tougher getting her into the bed though. She throws a HUGE tantrum, and we stay calm, but she is throwing herself on the floor on picking her arms straight up in the air so we can't pick her up! I think if we could get past this stage, we could keep walking her to bed like we did before.

PHEEWW! She is wearing me out! LOL!

By Truestori on Sunday, March 23, 2003 - 12:37 pm:

Eve,

I have to agree with Melissa also. (getting in on this post alittle late..lol) I have to give all the moms here credit that can let the baby scream..lol I never had it in me. My son just turned four and still sleeps with us. I could easily transport him to his own bed once he is asleep, but I am usually asleep myself by that time..lol
Eventually, she will want to be more independent. Trust me....Lotte is my prime example. Especially after being sick she probably really needs mommy right now. I can't wait to see little pics of Syd. when she is five and in kindergarten....she will be sooooo independent regardless of how or where she slept...Enjoy her she is a cutie!