DS, DD and I just got back from the public pool. We were only there an hour because DS (almost 11) wanted to come home. He is normally my party pooper and would prefer to stay home. The thing is, we stayed home yesterday with the understanding that we would be going to the pool today. You see, my DD (9) is a child who needs physical and social activities or she gets antsy and misbehaves. I try to keep everyone happy but this has become more challenging as the kids have gotten older. Normally I would have humored DS to stay longer, but today he refused to go swimming and sat there sweating like a pig in the sun. He drank water but wasn't open to my suggestion of sitting in the shade. I think because it wasn't near where we were sitting. I couldn't move to a shady spot because I couldn't see DD swimming from there. We came home early because I was concerned DS would suffer from heat stroke. I let him know I was disappointed. I understand he's a quiet kid who is a home body, but I will NOT stay home all summer because that's what he wants to do! Not only will this cause problems with DD, but summer is MY favorite season and I love to be outside and to go swimming, etc.. Up here in New England we are cooped up all winter as it is. I'm so frustrated right now. ARGH!

By Kaye on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 04:41 pm:

Sounds like you are starting to go through some "fun" times at your house! I think both my oldest went through similar things at that age. I guess part of them thinking they are almost teenagers (double digits...whatever..lol), and just have the need to assert themselves more.

By Vicki on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 09:20 pm:

Honestly, I don't think I would have left so soon. Especially if your dd was having a good time. Can he take a friend along next time? Do you think that would help him to have more fun?

By Pamt on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 09:34 pm:

Yeah, I agree with Vicki. I wouldn't let him determine when you leave, because then he will milk that for all it is worth. I would say before we left for the pool that we will be there X amount of time. He's not going to get heat stroke sitting in the sun, esp if he is drinking water. I checked the weather in CT just for kicks and it looks like it only got into the high 80s. Those of us in the south wouldn't be able to function if we got heatstroke in the 80s since it is typically in the 90s by 9 am here. If he wants to be a party pooper then ignore him and jump in and play with B in the pool. Sooner or later he will realize that he can't "win" and it is much more fun to play in the pool than sit on the side and pout.

Good luck!

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 09:49 pm:

Whether he likes or not, we're going back next week. He will be instructed to pack a book, a sketch pad and his Nintendo DS to keep him occupied if he doesn't want to swim. DD and I are going to have fun!

Pam, high 80's is hot in these parts. LOL! Seriously though, I don't normally cave like this, but his hair was dripping wet with sweat and his face was flush. Yes, he could have sat in the shade but I don't think he wanted to sit in the toddler section. How uncool would that be?! LOL! I was just taken by surprise because he usually isn't like this. Next time I'll be prepared.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:01 pm:

Sounds like you have a good plan now Trina. I know what you mean when something throws you for a loop with unusual behavior. It's always easier to handle things when you *think* they might happen and therefore have a plan of attack. Stick to you guns and have fun at the pool next week! LOL

By Amecmom on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 11:10 pm:

Trina, I'm glad you cut him some slack, especially with all that he went through this week with a check up and the blood draw. For an introvert (one of which I am a card-carrying member ) it may have just been too much for him.
By all means - warn him and have him be prepared to spend the day next time.
I have exactly the opposite problem. i have tow kids who want to just go and I want to just stop.
Ame

By Cat on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 11:57 am:

Send him to live with the Gypsies. Oh WAIT! That's MY plan! rofl I think your plan sounds good. Hopefully he choose to sit in the shade. Is he hoping you'll just let him stay home alone? That's what mine would have wanted at that age. NOT! You could always tell him you'll get him a babysitter and he can pay for it. *eg*

By Nicki on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 01:45 pm:

I agree with Ame, which makes sense, because I am a certified homebody and introvert.:-) My dd sounds a lot like your son. She can only handle so much in a day, a week, and if over loaded, she crashes on me. I would have done exactly what you are doing.
I hope next week goes better.:-)

By Debbie on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 02:27 pm:

What a tough situation.

I think you have a good plan for next time. My oldest is a little more introverted then my youngest, who is a complete social butterfly. My oldest isn't as bad as your ds, but after awhile, he likes to be home for some down time. My youngest ds could just go and go everyday. So, on the days we are home, I try and have a neighbor or a school friend come play with my youngest.

By Annie2 on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 05:47 pm:

Is the pool nearby to your home? I would let him try staying home by himself for any hour or two. From your posts over the years, T sounds like a very responsible child.

I allow my 10 year old ds stay home for an hour or two when I take the girls somewhere he does not want to go. It makes for a much more pleasant trip out. But I never travel more than a ten or fifteen minute car ride away.

My ds keeps a phone next to him, I call every half hour, and he usually calls me, too. He is instructed not to open the door, only answer my phone calls, no cooking, stay indoors, etc.

T might like the time at home or he may not like it and will go with you, willingly, next time.

Try some short trips out at first and see how he reacts. I know not all kids can be responsible at home by themselves but many kids can handle the time alone and actually enjoy it.

By Colette on Friday, August 3, 2007 - 08:13 am:

How did it work out this week Trina?

By Trina~moderator on Friday, August 3, 2007 - 10:48 am:

Colette, actually we haven't made it back to the pool yet. We've had other things going on, but swim lessons start next week. We'll see how things go.

By Colette on Friday, August 3, 2007 - 03:18 pm:

Good luck!