DD needs to nap alone!
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2003:
DD needs to nap alone!
DD is a year old now and #2 is going to be here in 4 months or so. I think it's time that DD starts to take her naps alone. She doesn't think so. Since I've always been home with her I always just laid down with her on the couch and we napped together. Even if she's falling over tired in the afternoon if I put her in her crib to nap she screams and screams and screams. At night, no problem, she doesn't have a problem at all going to sleep in the crib. What can I do to get her to take naps alone during the day?
I will be in the minority here, but my first thought is why? She obviously feels you as her comfort I wouldn't push taking that away when the new baby get here. You could always lay down and just not nap with her. However, one suggestion, give her a blanket that you nap with. Kind of rub it on her face and encourage her to bond with that, eventually she will nap with the blankie and not you. I firmly believe though even if you do nothing she will eventually decide she doesn't need daddy to nap with her. I think you should enjoy it as long as you can!
Phheew! My DD is 2 and still migrates towards our bed. She was sick the past 2 weeks and ended up with us after a long battle to get her to sleep on her own. Luckily, today she is napping in her bed again! Yeah.
How does she act if you go put her in her crib for naptime? Does she flip out? Can you repeat your night routine? Perhaps you could just take her in and sit with her next to the crib and reassure her. Sorry to say, that never worked with my DD. LOL! It is worth a try though.
I also tried the blanket thing and that didn't work either. She finally bonded with a stuffed cow at Christmas time. My SIL, Trina had good luck with the blanket! That can't hurt either.
Do you have a playpen? You could always try getting her to lay down in the playpen next to the couch. Then, you could always move the playpen slowly away from you. Each day move it farther.
The only luck I had with DD with the napping in the crib, was to let her cry. For some reason, she would never cry for too long in the afternoon. At night time it was awful, I couldn't take it. For some reason, I was able to do it on my own with her for naps.
I'm rambling, I know! Perhaps you could lay her down in her crib or playpen after she falls asleep on you. Maybe if she starts waking in her crib or such, she'll get more comfortable.
It's tough, I know! I said I would never have a baby in bed, and Syd ended up with us for almost her whole life now! LOL! Trust your instincts, but be willing to try some new things.Eventually, something will work! Hang in there! Keep us posted!
Well it sounds like you will have to do something before the new baby comes. You probably won't be able to do it everyday with a new baby to care for. Its good you are thinking about it now to. If you did it after the new baby she may feel resentful. Although I don't know if they really feel that way that young.
As far as suggestions go. I probably was always one of those meanies. I taught my kids from the time they were little to go to bed on there own. They do get tucked in, they got to take juice to bed and my dd has a doll she can not live without ect... Several of my friends were impressed that my kids do it so well. Of course this was coming from my friend who dk's won't even go to bed by themselves at night. She had to push to twin beds together and sleep with them. Talk about nightmare.
As far as breaking the habit now its a tough one. I would definately try these other suggestions. If it doesn't work you may have to be firm with her. Not mean but firm. It will be tough at first but she will eventually warm to the new routine. You should just do it as soon as possible so she doesn't relate new baby with no daddy at nap time. But you can't let yourself feel bad about it. You have to do what you have to do. Nap time is a perfect time to do new baby stuff that you can't do when dd is up. Good luck!
I did think of one more thing. Try to find another time of day to make special to take the place of your nap time routine!
Hmmmmmmm........Seth this is a doozie! LOL!
SOrry it really isn't funny.
I would try the ideas they listed above.
With the play pen idea, I was thinking can you lay down on the couch while she is laying in her play pen (in front of the couch?).....eventually push the play pen away little by little.
I think (JMO) if you hold her til she falls asleep, you go to lay her down, she will be up hollerin, as soon as you put her in the bed, and let go. She might not though.
That might help.
Or, I don't like to suggest this one too much, let her cry it out. Not too much. I'd give her a few minutes, then if she dosen't stop, I'd try the play pen thing or something different.
For this reason, that is why I never let my kids sleep with us, unless they were sick, or occasionly let them nap with me. I always made them go to bed on thier own with thier blankie, and toy.
Good Luck!! 
The only thing I can suggest is routine. Does she have a pre-nap routine? If not does she have a bedtime routine you can condense or tweek into a pre-nap routine? Just a thought but could you lay down in a bed or somewhere it is easier for you to unwedge yourself and sneak off after a few minutes? Maybe some cuddle time with dad (like rocking in a rocking chair or whatever) then when she is out off to her own space. My dd liked the rocking and then it became a routine and she would rock and eventually would rock and then go wide awake to the crib and fall asleep.
I think you are smart to be thinking of these things now.
I also think it's good that you are thinking of this now. I don't have new suggestions to add, but would like to second the suggestion of the routine. It's going to be tough in the beginning. After all, who wouldn't rather snuggle up with Daddy than sleep all alone?? But she'll get there. Be firm, yet gentle, and as always, consistent.
Familyman,
I'm with Kaye. We have always layed down with the kids(let me rephrase that: I have always layed down with the kids! hubby on occasions..lol)
If you do feel that you need her to do this, I say let her cry it out. {{{She is still such a baby herself! I feel guilty giving that advice.}}} I am a push over when it comes to babies and crying.
The experts say it only takes a few days of crying and she will get the message. I couldn't take the crying, I always gave in....and the one time I stuck to my guns my daughter had the biggest mess in her diaper, so she had to come out any how. Defeated the whole purpose! AGGHHH
Ok I am rambling too...lol Goodluck
I want to get this out of the way before #2 arrives so she doesn't feel that she's being displaced by the new baby. We're also going to be moving her into her own room in a few months (she sleeps in her crib in our room) so I'd like to get this nap thing taken care of before the own room thing. For almost two weeks I could lay down with her and once she was asleep I could get away. But (and I hate to say this) but I was super busy on Saturday and shifted all the baby duties to DW. Then I was gone playing all day yesterday and no matter what I say DW never respects the fact that DD has a routine. She doesn't follow it and on Monday I'm left fighting to normalize the house. I've mentioned it before but DW gets a little defensive and says she knows how to parent bla bla bla so I back off. I think I have to figure out a routine and then really stick with it. I think I'm going to try to playpen thing. We never use it but I think I may be able to push it next to the couch and see what I can get to work.
She slept for maybe 10 minutes today by the way. So we aren't having that nice lasagna that I planned for dinner, we're having fish sticks.
I always need a nap, so I rarely complained when my son wanted to nap with me! Guess you must have more energy then me. You sure you don't need a nap?
Today I did.
Tough one! With your DD only being one, it is somewhat difficult to reason with her about sleeping by herself during naptime.
hmmm...I'm stuck on this one. Have you tried laying in the bed while she is in her crib during naptime? How 'bout bribery (sp)? Maybe you could get her a "baby" and spend a couple days really fussing over it. Feeding it, "bathing" it, dressing it etc. Then tell you DD she needs to lay by it for naptime so she can take care of it etc. Geeze...it's so hard when they are so young. Let us know if you find a solution
My DD's are 14 months apart....GOOD LUCK!
Seth - I always napped with my three as well. When I wanted them to start on their own (they were a little older - about 18 months), I would lie them in their crib or on the couch and give them some books of theirs to read. I told them they didn't have to have a nap, but they had to stay in their crib and have a rest looking at their books. 9 out of 10 times, within 5 minutes, they were sound asleep. My 3 year old still falls asleep some afternoons this way. Good Luck.!!!
Seth, let's be clear. Your dd doesn't need to nap alone. You need her to nap alone, and before very long sleep alone. If you think it is difficult getting her to nap alone, wait until you move the crib (sorry, but I think the moms who have been through this more recently than I will tell you the same, in gory detail). I have no suggestions, just the knowledge that it ain't gonna be easy.
And, from everything I've read here and elsewhere, you can expect her to revert to "younger" behavior when the baby comes, no matter how well she has been doing before that. (Hard to think of a 16 month old "reverting", but it will happen.)
She's always slept alone in the crib, never in bed with us. The only time she gets to sleep with us is during the day. She's in our bedroom for two reasons. We wanted to have her near us when she was a newborn and well, we only have one bedroom so there wasn't really an option (we'll have two more bedrooms before #2 arrives) She never has a problem at night sleeping alone, just put her in the crib, cover her up and she drops off. But try it during the day and all holy hell breaks loose. Interesting thing, no nap yesterday but she slept through the night. She hardly ever does that, she's usually up once to eat between 3 and 4. I could definatly trade the day naps for sleeping through the night. This will be a week of experimenting, I'll let you konw how it goes. Thanks for the advice.
Seth, if you can get her to still take that afternoon nap, let me tell you, you will be happy later! My kids are 20 months apart. When #2 cam along I was able to get them on the same afternoon nap schedule. It was so helpful to have them both asleep so I could get some things down around the house.
At any rate, good luck with the experimenting! I am sure you will figure out what works best for the two of you! Oh, and don't worry too much about the possibility of her regressing when the baby comes. It's not destined to happen. When we brought #2 home he acted as if we had always had a baby in the house. He was so little, he just went with the flow! Keep it in mind as a possibility, but don't worry about it too much.
You brought up a good point Seth! I forgot to mention it. My kids rarely took naps and they have for the most part slept through the night.
Most people need their children to take naps but I needed the extra sleep at night. That is the other reason my kids never slept in their crib. I would be a bear in the morning if I had to get out of bed, go down the hall and contend with a crying baby. I did it the easy way and rolled right over...LOL
Every household is so different, but I think you should talk to your wife about the routine issue, just in a discussion not while its being disrupted by her..lol
I am guilty of not having a rountine, as a matter of fact the only diaper bag I had with my daughter was my husbands back pocket. LOL
And guess what she is a well rounded ten-year-old that slept with mom and dad until she was 3 and didn't take daily naps..LOL
I guess you can tell I'm not a go by the books type of gal....
Seth, you mentioned you will have two new bedrooms when #2 arrives....5 months from now?
Are you moving? Or building on to your house?
If you are moving you'll be able to make dd's room, her very own, for crib and naps. If you are building, then maybe she is upset by the noise the workmen are making during the day, during her naptime.
You are smart for addressing this issue now. DD is still a baby herself.
How long will your DW have off for maternity leave?
Annie,
We're building. And when I say we I mostly mean me and DW. We're going to have a crew of friends over for a weekend to rip off the old roof, put on the second story walls and put on the new roof but everything else is our own 4 hands. We're pretty handy to. When DD was born we brought her home to a living room that was still seperated by a sheet of plastic and had a bare concrete floor. The goal was to get the walls done and floor in by the time she could roll over. Mission accomplished. This time we need to get at least one more room done at least a month before #2 arrives. Should be fun.
What's strange is we had to rip out a closet in our current and only bedroom to put in a staircase (two weekends ago) so the bedroom totally changed and it didn't bother DD at all. She did nap well today on the couch after I laid down with her and got her to sleep. Now I just have to get her someplace other than the couch.
Definitely try and get both of your DK's (when the other one arrives of course) on the same nap schedule. All 3 of my DK's nap at the same time everyday. Even though my DD is 4, she still naps. Mostly for my sake...but she is cranky and sleepy looking by midafternoon if she doesnt get her nap. It gives me about 3 hours of alone time every afternoon which is wonderful! Next year DD will be in kindergarten so no more naps. Good luck with your building
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