Had a conference with my ds teacher. Need advice
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Had a conference with my ds teacher. Need advice
My ds is in kindergarden. I had a conference with his teacher today and she has some concernes. She said he is doing well in all areas except letter recognition, and writing letters. He can write several of them and knows alomost all of them when you point to them, and he knows the sounds that they make for about half of them. She says that he must know how to write A-Z and recognize A-Z and know the sounds that all of them make before the end of the year, or he will be held back.
I knew he was struggling a little with his letters but I was'nt aware how serious this was until now.
I'm trying to incorporate this into his home life. For example, today before he took his socks off I had him tell me what letter does sock start with and what letter does off start with. I really, really want him to do well. I don't want him to have to retake kindergarden. We have flash cards at home that we will start going over more regularly also. I need some ideas to help him learn these, and make it fun for him.
Sometimes I feel like it's my fault and I'm letting him fail. I also have a 3 year old ds and I'm almost 5 months pregnant. I work 3 days a week, and we are looking to buy a new home. Sometimes I will be so tired that I feel like I don't have the energy...I'm sorry, maybe that is a poor excuse. Like everyone, I enjoy my alone time, my computer time. But sometimes I feel that I should be putting all my spare time into him.
The school year will be ending before I know it, and there is'nt a lot of time left for him to learn this. I can't just cram it into him, I want him to learn and remember what he's learned. Grrrrr, I just feel so discouraged.
Any ideas for me? Please?
Mara
First of all let me tell you, you seem to do so much especially whilst pregnant. children develop at different rates and i dont think it should be labelled as to when they should be doing things, it adds pressure. I have 3 my 8 year old developed really quickly but my 5 year old son wasn't as keen. He just didnt seem to want to no matter how much time i spent with him. When he started at school aged 41/2 he couldnt even write his name. But i found that he came on leaps and bounds when in that school environment. now there is no stopping him. Hopefully that will ease some pressure for you. Otherwise i have tried most of what you have you are doing enough 
Mara, first, don't blame yourself for not doing enough. It has been my experience that these things just all of a sudden click with kids. At the beginning of the school year I was concerned with where my son (in K) was academically. I just didn't see the fire for learning that I expected. But within the past month or so everything is clicking into place. I can see the way he writes his letters now (starting at the top instead of at the bottom) and the way he is trying to spell everything. When these kids are ready, they are little sponges.
As far as holding him back, I say stay open to that idea. Think of it as giving him the gift of another year. Things that he struggles with this year may all of a sudden make sense to him next year. And being older in the class will give him a chance to be a leader.
Just another question that you may want to ask the teacher is what if you decide to hold him and in the fall she sees he should have gone on? Will they be open to moving him back up at that time? I ask because at the beginning of this school year I saw several children moved around to different classes. A couple of kids who had been retained moved up to the class they had been in. A couple who were moved on to the next class were moved back a grade. They really watched close to make sure the kids were in the right class for them.
Good luck with your decision. ((HUG))
{{{Joan}}} First of all the ultimate decision of whether to hold him back or not is YOURS, regardless of what the school recommends. That said, as a former K teacher myself, I'm surprised this teacher is hinging his going on to Gr. 1 solely on letter recognition, sounds and writing. There is so much more involved! Perhaps the school has more stringent policies but when I was teaching K and made these recommendations I looked at the big picture. How is the child doing socially? Is he/she mature enough to handle what's expected in Gr. 1? Does he/she know the basic academics taught in Kindergarten? Not specifically every single number, letter, upper and lower case, etc. but does he/she have a good basic grasp of things? Is he/she able to sit, follow directions and finish a task? How is his/her pencil grasp? Is his/her handedness established or is he/she still constantly switching? How are his/her fine motor and cutting skills? Those are off the top of my head. Listen to your mommy instincts. Do YOU think your child is ready for Gr. 1? Think about it and ask for another conference to discuss this further with the teacher. Consider the pros and cons of all your options before making your decision.
As far as helping him at home... READ, READ and read some more. Keep doing as you're doing (ie: working in little games and lessons throughout normal life, in the car, while shopping, etc.). I personally don't care for flashcards. Yuck, no fun! LOL! Do you have books, puzzles, games and such that reinforce what he's learning in school? One thing my kids loved was foam bath tub letters and numbers. They stick to the wall and float.
I must say that if your son truly isn't ready for Gr. 1 it won't matter how much you work with him at home. Step back, observe and really listen to your mommy instincts. {{{HUGS}}}
Sorry is this is choppy and not well thought out. I wish I had more time!
You have gotten some great advice. Our school uses http://www.starfall.com to help the kids learn to read, letter recognition, etc. etc. and it is fun for them.
There are two children in my class that are repeating kindergarten, they just couldnt "get it" last year, this year they are blossoming. Sounds like you really have your hands full, just do your best.
I have been reading the book Chicka chicka boom boom alot to my son. He loves it. I love to read it. It is a very fun alphabet book.
Chicka chicka boom boom. Will there be enough room?
They have fun different abc videos too.
You could make playdoh abc's.
ABC Posters on the Walls. Maybe two or three around the house. You could make the ABC posters together.
ABC puzzles
Get another computer and let him work on an ABC computer game while you work on your computer. Just an idea... Don't beat me up. We have two computers because we are always on the computer.
Foam letters are great in the bath.
I tell you I am amazed kids learn all those letters upper case and lower case.... So many ...
In the bath use shaving cream on the wall and pound it. Then write letters.
As Trina say, if he isn't ready for 1st grade then no matter what you do you can't make him be developmentally ready.
Part of what all of you parents of school age kids are going to be seeing is the federally mandated tests, which will decide whether children get promoted or not in certain grades. There are now proposals to make at least part of federal funding for Head Start and Get Set dependent upon the children (age 4) passing certain academic tests.
That said, I agree, don't beat yourself over the head. You are a human being, with all that goes with that, and a pregnant human being, which has its own problems. It really, really isn't your fault (that is, unless you got pregnant three times without "help").
I really wouldn't worry. As others above have posted, some kids get it at one point, other kids at another point. Boys almost always are slower than girls to learn some of these things - I don't know why, but all studies show this. (They catch up later, and then often zoom ahead, so don't worry.)
And, repeating a year of kindergarten means he will be one of the older, bigger, and probably smarter kids in 1st grade - which is not a bad thing. My own personal feeling is that if a child is to be held back, the earlier it is done the better, because there is a lot less stigma and his schoolmates will be less likely to tease him, and he will not have built up several years of "failure". Think about it - if he has to repeat kindergarten, next year he will have a head start on most of the other kids and can experience a lot of success, building his self-esteem and helping him to have a positive attitude towards school and learning and blossom, as Colette says.
If he is held back, how you react to it will determine how he reacts to it. If you see it as an opportunity, so will he. If you see it as your failure, he will see it as his failure - not yours, and feel that he has let you down. Which would be really sad, and I am sure not what you would want.
So, I suggest you think about what is best for your ds, long-term, and try really hard to see it from a different angle. See it not as your "failure", but rather a good teacher giving you a heads up on how your son's skills are developing so that you will know in advance that it is possible that he needs another year in order to blossom and bloom at his best. In other words, "make lemonade".
Alphabet magnets...good for DS to stick on fridge while you're making dinner. Here are some for 6.99.
http://store.yahoo.com/fridgedoor/quer48piecup.html
The suggestions you have here are all great ones. I can only add this. I held both of my boys back.
My oldest because he wasn't mature enough to handle the 1st grade, and my youngest because he just wasn't ready for 1st grade. There is no shame in holding your child back if that is what you choose. Don't let anyone push you, one way or the other, do what you feel is best for your child..you know your son better than anyone else, use that. You'll know what he needs, follow your instincts.
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