In a Bind
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I'm not sure what to do, if you read my other posts you know that we are in transition with potty training right now.
So I have a three year old that will not sleep at night time. Our usual bedtime routine starts at 7:30 and lights out at 8:00 pm.
My 3 year old is still napping in the afternoons although reluctantly. He has no stimulation in his room like toys or books and I have to lock him in to get him to stay in his room. He has a gate but can open it so I had to put one of those balls on the door knob and tape it on so he can't get if off.
He usually sleeps from 1 pm until 3:30 with little problems sleeping at night up until just recently. I gave him some Benadryl one night and thought that was reason for his late night but the problem persists.
I think he might be sleeping in the afternoons due to boredom and not because he really needs it, but I'm not sure. I always thought that my kids would nap at least until they entered jr. kindergarten.
He has been up the last three nights until 11 pm and only settles to sleep if one of us sleeps with him. So I'm wondering is this a transitional issue due to potty training, a control issue or is it really time to give up the naps? He is a cranky little man today and needs a nap but I'm afraid if I let him sleep he will not sleep tonight. I don't want to put him down for a short nap because he might just wake up more cranky.
I would really appreciate any thoughts.
Thanks and sorry this is so long just wanted to give as many details as possible.
Natalie had nap changes (she's 3) beginning 4mths. ago or more. All of a sudden she was going to BED at 8 or 8:30pm but not asleep until 10 or 10:30. We moved nap to earlier in the day and it made a huge difference. Now she has an earlier lunch (around 11:30) and is down for a nap by 12:30 or before. I only let her sleep a max of 1.5hrs at the MOST. If she sleeps more, we're back to later nights again. Mine still seems to need the nap unless she really sleeps in (which rarely happens). She can go without one if needed with little problems, but after a couple of days the lack of naps will begin to show. So now she's up from a nap by 2:00 and in bed between 8 and 8:30pm. It has worked for us.
We've never slept with her, in her room, or anything like that. When she went through the phase of being up until 10 or 10:30, we just repeatedly reminded her that it's bedtime. She never really got up and played, just talked/sang/sometimes whined in her bed. When we changed the nap, bedtime changed.
I know what you mean about being cranky, and I've had to wake Natalie from a short nap when due to our schedule for the day she's had to take a late one. She has been cranky sometimes, but I'd rather do that for 30min. than up 2-3hrs. later at night. That's my time!!  I hated giving it up during that phase. A short video or TV show after a short nap when she's cranky really helps her pull out of it.
Good luck!
It never ocured to me to put him down earlier, I've been letting him stay up later and later. I feel he still needs a nap so I'll try that. Thanks!
We had the same issue with Connor recently and he will only sleep in the car, on the highway. If he doesn't get that nap, he is Mr. Hyde from 3-8pm.
At night, I have to go in and sleep with him until he falls asleep. Otherwise, it's an hour of him coming out and us putting him back in.
All I can say is that we've been there, done that...and still doing it. He fights the sleepy but he needs it badly. (Even if for 30 minutes.)
I tried the later and later thing at first, too! Earlier didn't even cross my mind and afterward I was thinking "duh!" Now she's getting up around 6:30am  and bed around 8:30pm, so smack dab in the middle around lunch is best. She drops at noon-ish and drops at bedtime, so the time in-between is perfect for the moment.
I hope napping earlier will work for you, too!
Heidi - Have you tried "locking" him in? We thought the safety handle was easiest for us and the location of her room, but gates are nice, too. Keeping her from getting out took about 2-3 nights and then it ended. She fell asleep by the door the first night or two, then at the foot of her bed, then she didn't get out anymore. She realized it wasn't worth it and she wasn't getting anywhere. I was amazed at how quickly it worked. I'm not sure why she started doing it in the first place...just a new phase I guess.
The gates worked wonderfully for us for a long time, but he's figured them out and can unlock them in a snap a feat most adults can't do. They were a good investment though.
Well so much for our early nap, we got home from the gym at 11:45 finished lunch and potty by 12:15 and in bed for nap. I could hear him rattling around at the gate, I don't like to close his door unless I have to. I could still hear him at 1:15 and went up to check, he pooped in his underwear! Ugh! This is the worst thing about potty training, so into the shower he went and I made him clean himself, I felt like a big meanie and he sure didn't like it but perhaps next time he might think twice. I helped him with the last little bit, poor kid.
I asked him why he didn't call me or just go on his own since he can open the gate he just said "I don't know". Oh well, the potty training is actually going quite well, now if I can just get him to sleep. I'll have him up at 2:30 regardless of what time he falls asleep.
Last night he missed dinner and fell asleep on the sofa, I put him in his bed and he was up at 8:00 pm, then we had a big fight trying to get him to go to sleep.
I'll keep working on the early nap times. I ran him around the gym for almost an hour, you'd think he'd be sleepy by now.
What time does he get up in the morning? When Nat was sleeping until 8 or 8:30am she would NOT nap at all regardless of when I put her down. She also had only a brief meltdown in the early evening, so it wasn't that bad. When she started waking earlier she started napping easily again.
If he's sleeping later in the mornings, maybe you could skip the nap and go to bed earlier in the evening?
Oh I would ditch the nap for an 8:30 wake up, he's up at 6-6:30 regardless of what time he goes to bed.
He did not sleep again this afternoon, after all the poop in the underwear it was after 1:30 before I finally closed his door and at 2:30 I went up to wake him up and he was not even sleeping.
Poor thing was falling asleep at the table tonight, so I took a video and then stripped him and took him upstairs for a nice cool shower. There is no way he's going to bed tonight before 7:30 if I have to run him around the block 16 times!
AAAAHHH I can't believe this kid! As I was typing this post, my computer is right next to the bathroom he was going to pee, he came out of the bathroom with no underwear, I asked him to put them back on, he had this guilty look on his face. I asked him where his underwear were and he said he flushed them!
He is going to make me crazy! Please pray that the underwear don't plug the toilet, I so can't deal with this kind of stuff.
My vote is that he no longer needs or wants naps. My son stopped napping at age 3 a few months ago. Nap time had become a fight for us and I realized that you cannot make a person sleep or eat! Anyway, he now goes to bed an hour earlier at night and has "rest time" each day for about 1 hour 15min. He has to stay in his room - he can come get me if he needs help with going to the bathroom or if he is hurt. His room has lots toys and drawing materials and I put a portable DVD player in there where he can watch a Leap Frog video. I always tell him that if he gets sleepy he can lie down and take a nap. This has happened just a few times...
Once he settled in to this new routine, his afternoon crankiness disappeared (as much as it can for a 3 yo) and he just gets that extra hour at night.
I hope this helps. The transition out of naps is such a sad time for mommies. I guess that is why God made preschool.
Good Luck!
Amy
DS Garrett (almost 4yo)
DD - adopting from China - maybe 2008
Amy,
Thank you so much for your response, my little guy went 2 days without a nap and by 5 pm both days he was falling asleep. Once on the sofa and once right at the dinner table. I believe he might be getting closer to losing the naps but I think he's not quite there yet. I moved up his nap time yesterday to noon and I went to wake him up at 2:30 - he did not want to get up! I made him get up and he went to bed at his regular bedtime. He still fought the bedtime but I think he's just use to getting his way.
We have removed the light bulbs from the light in his room so he can't mess around with the lights and we now close the door so he can't get out of his bedroom. I have removed all stimulation from his room, no stuffed animals, tents or toys. I feel a bit bad but sleep is just too important at this age. I read recently that 2-3 year olds need 10-12 hours of sleep at night and 1-2 hours during the day.
I just need to put up some darker window coverings in his bedroom for his day time naps and hopefully all this effort will pay off for my sweet boy.
Best of luck to you. If he is that sleepy - I think you are on target that naps are still needed. I wish my little guy needed them. He gets 10 hours at night - and that is it. He has always been at the low end when it came to sleep - no matter what I tried. Someday, he'll be a teenager - and I'll be dragging him out of bed!
Let us know how you are doing!
Amy
Reds, I could try an earlier time and locking him in. I feel bad doing that, but it's come to that.
Connor will sleep in the car during his nap time and if he gets a nap, he won't sleep until 9:30pm. ANd, if he doesn't nap, he is SOOOO cranky from 3pm and on...ugh.
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