Hello,
I have a 3 1/2 year old son who refuses to do anything about the potty. We have 2 different potty, plus the toliet seat thing. He will not wear underwear--we got them on acouple times and once he wets, he wants changed (back into the pull-up) Has never pee on the potty. We try bribing him that he'll get presents, get to go to school with all his friends, etc (now he don't want to go to school). Any suggestions??

By Trina on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 04:24 pm:

Hi Lori03, WELCOME to MOMSVIEW!

Sounds like your DS isn't ready. We went through the same thing with our DS. We tried everything but he still refused. When he was about 3.5 we totally backed off and stopped putting pressure on him out of sheer frustration, and then he started doing things on his own! LOL! If you push too much it becomes a power struggle. Our DS finally trained at 4. Hang in there, it WILL happen! With our DD we took a much more laid back approach and she basically taught herself before she turned 3. It was SO much less stressful that way. Good luck!

BTW, you'll get all kinds of advice, some of it conflicting. Listen to YOUR mommy instincts and ignore the advice you don't think is appropriate or useful for your son.

By Jann on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 04:42 pm:

I totally agree with Trina. This isn't a training process like a dog, but a learning process just like walking, talking, learning to read ect, and every child will do it at their own pace. NOTHING we can do will move that process along faster.
You can cause more harm by pushing.

By Feona on Friday, February 14, 2003 - 06:11 pm:

We are waiting for the warmer weather for potty training.

I heard Sears has lightly padded underwear. The kids feel wet and don't like it.

I don't know if the kids feel wet in the pull ups.

By Sickpuppy on Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 08:57 am:

Please don't feel bad. My son was the same way. He was a big boy, so I had to buy the big boy pullups for him (very expensive) diapers didn't fit anymore, and neither did the regular pullups.

This sounds horrid, and expensive, but I bought a whole stash of dollar store toys (and other more expensive toys) and gave him a toy everytime he went. Candy would not have worked here because it is a staple like bread in our family (yes, we are rotten).

As he went more frequently, I tapered the toy surprises, and just gave hugs. He no longer gets toys, but big hugs, and we look at his poop to see if it is shaped like a "bear, duck, swan, tiger, train etc..."

He is four 1/2 now, and I still have to pull down his pants and wipe his butt for him, but he does not were those overnight pullups anymore.

By Mommyathome on Sunday, February 16, 2003 - 11:51 pm:

Hang in there! It will happen in it's own due time. My first DD (she is 4 and 1/2 now) was a little bit hard to train. We tried and tried, but she would have accidents all the time. We finally backed off, as someone else mentioned they did, and she ended up doing it on her own. My 2nd DD, we just tried now and then and she pretty much just followed the example of her big sister and trained herself. We have a DS who is just a year old so we still have awhile until we start with potty training with him. But, everyone I talk to says that boys are harder to train than girls. Just a saying I'm sure, but still, it makes me dread it! If you find something that works, be sure to share!!
Good luck!

By Candace on Monday, February 17, 2003 - 09:58 am:

Hi Welcome to Momsview. I am sooooo glad to see this post and hear all the moms with the same problems as me. My DS (4 in June) has no interest either in the potty. He has gone pee some and poop once, but nothing consistent. Everyone I know is on us that he NEEDS to be potty trained by now. But, we do have a couple of friends that insist that he will not go to Kindergarten in pullups. They say it takes time but he will train when HE is ready. So we are trying to wait it out. Good Luck and let us know how he does!

By Twotwentysix on Thursday, February 20, 2003 - 02:01 pm:

I made a sticker board for my son 9 years ago, and he was trained within a couple of months completely with no accidents. What I did was put a posterboard on the wall next to his bed, evertime he did #1 I gave him 1 sticker, #2 received 2 stickers. At first I don't think it was a real big deal, but he really enjoyed it when I would get home from work and he would be at the sitters and tell me how many stickers he earned. We couldn't get home fast enough for him to climb on his bed and put the stickers on the chart. Worked for us, maybe it will help you out. Good luck and keep us informed. We left that board on the wall for probably 6 months to a year after words, just for a praise object about what a big boy he was.

By Twotwentysix on Thursday, February 27, 2003 - 08:50 am:

I watched Dr. Phil yesterday and they were doing updates. There was one on there on potty training. Here is what he did.
This is for all kids.
Buy a baby that wets Feed the baby, and when it is ready to wet, sit it on your kids potty and make it go (of course make a big deal out of it)
Tell your child when they go potty they get to call there favorite hero, cartoon character, Daddy, whomever they admire
Have someone lined up to play this part
tell them every time they go that so and so would be so proud
They showed like four people that said it worked
Just another suggestion
He said he could potty train in one day!!

By Mechelle on Thursday, February 27, 2003 - 10:38 am:

I agree. Your Son isn't ready.
If you push him now, you will cause major trouble later. We just will absoutley will not go.

He will go when the time is ready for him.

What what I did with my 2 Dk's is I kept a potty chair in the living room. They would go potty for me in there cause the tv was there. Once they got comfy with the potty, and used to using it, I put it in the bathroom, never had an ounce of trouble out of either one of them.
Also, I never put underware on mine when they were potty training, I always put a long t-shirt on them, so that way when they needed to go potty they didn't have to fumble with trying to pull thier underware down, and it be too late. Always at nap time, or night time, a diaper was on them

I rewarded them with 1 piece of candy thier favorite (usually m&ms)

By Mommyah2 on Friday, February 28, 2003 - 02:29 am:

I heard that cherios in the potty help.Boys like to use them as targets.Also at the store u can buy little disolveable toys that go in the potty for the same reason but i never bought them cause i was afraid they would teach my ds to put other toys in the potty.Also my son would not use a potty,however he took rite 2 the "big boy"potty.Ialso made a huge deal out of him useing the potty clap woohoo call every one when he was around to hear me brag he loved the praise soo much he used potty all the time. Im sure i looked pretty stupid doing all he crazy things i id but it orked haha
OH yeah i almost forgot the potty song he loved that we would sing pee pee in the pottay pee pee in the pottay etc. the whole wy to the potty.It worked.

By Mommyah2 on Friday, February 28, 2003 - 02:30 am:

Honest im really not crazy

By Mommyah2 on Friday, February 28, 2003 - 09:50 pm:

bumping

By Mommyathome on Saturday, March 1, 2003 - 12:23 am:

We bought the "Bear In The Big Blue House~Potty Time" After watching that, both of my DD's thought it would be so cool to potty train just like "tutter" did. Worked for us!

By Babysitbarb on Monday, March 24, 2003 - 07:15 pm:

We are trying to potty train one of the kids I babysit for. She will be 3 next week. She is a smart little girl but, she isn't doing good at all. She probably went 3-4 weeks before she finally went in the potty. She has lots of accidents every day and she's back to not going in the potty but maybe once a day. It's so frustrating for me because I can take her and as soon as she goes back to playing she goes in her pants. Mom uses pull ups for nap, bedtime and in the car ride here and home.All the other times it's undies or training pants. My question is since she's not doing well and doesn't seem to care, do I suggest to the Mom to stop for a while or just keep trying?

By Babysitbarb on Monday, March 24, 2003 - 07:22 pm:

I forgot to say that my oldest was potty trained at 20 months old and my youngest was potty trained during the day at about 2 1/2 but, still bed wetted for a while.

By Feona on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 06:51 am:

You might want to try no underwear around the house for a hour a day when it gets warmer.

My friend has a four year old who finally taught himself to potty!


My ds got sick with a bad cold so we stopped the potty training.

By Babysitbarb on Tuesday, March 25, 2003 - 02:45 pm:

I think that's what her problem is meaning her cold. Today she has done a little better but, I'v also have keep her in pullups today. I'm getting tired of her peeing and getting it everywhere. I asked her Mom how she is doing at home and she's like oh so-so. Not much of answer.