Am I going insane or is this "normal?"
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My DH with his new job has been gone traveling a lot lately. DD is out of school and I just feel like I am going insane. I can't get the house cleaned or even picked up, which just stresses me out. DH did not mow the backyard and I found a tick on myself! My children are driving me nuts! I want to do something fun with them, but I just can't get it together. Normally, I am up for taking them to the beach or something, but like I said I just can't get it together. I'm not sure if a bit of depression is creeping in or I'm just overwhelmed. DH said we could sit down and see what would make it easier for me.....
Oh, and my pick children....they are not eating anything I cook. Seriously, I'm ready to jump off a bridge this week. I'm not dealing with everything very well....any ideas on how to get it together? Thanks for letting me vent...
{{{{Eve}}} Major hugs, first of all!!!
I think it's a bit of everything. Who wouldn't be a "bit" depressed when your DH is traveling so much. AND who wouldn't be overwhelmed? You're living the life of a part-time single parent. I only have one child, but I find myself getting crazy and overwhelmed sometimes. I remember a morning not so long ago when I couldn't sleep and was up at butt-crack dawn, looking around my house, trying to figure out where to start (before work) and finally throwing my hands up! I finally came said "Screw it"! It's summer. I would rather spend time with my DD than stress about my house, or my job or whatever!
You can't do everything or be everything to everybody! You can't stress about everything, all the time!
I think you really need some time to yourself... to regenerate. Once you get yourself in a good place, then everything else will come... one at a time! Don't try to solve everything! So, the house isn't perfect today! So what?
You're a great mom, a terrific wife and an awesome person! But everyone needs a break and time for themselves! Get some!
If you find something that works, let me know! I'm not getting it together either. LOL! Since the kids got out of school last week they have been at each other's throats. I'm dealing with female issues and not feeling well. Certainly not well enough to wear a bathing suit and go to the pool, etc.. I have tons to do but just can't get motivated. ARGH!
{{{HUGS}}} Is this "normal"? When my kids are out of school and we don't have anything specific planned - YES!
If the weather is cooperative and we're all feeling up to it, we could meet some where. I'll check the forecast for Thurs. and Friday.
(((Hugs))) Yes, you have every reason to feel overwhelmed. You need a break. Is there anyone who could take the kids for the day, or even better, overnight? It also could very well be some depression kicking in, too. It sounds like DH is trying to be supportive, but I know what it's like when they travel a lot. There's only so much he can do when he's not there. Is there any way the two of you could get away for a few days? Sorry, I'm not too helpful! Just know that it is very normal to feel totally overwhelmed in your situation. Cut yourself some slack, you are in survival mode, and that's okay. Hang in there! (((((((HUGS)))))))
Eve,
I always found it helpful to schedule a playdate so the kids can play and me and the other mom can catch up and just talk. You may just need to force yourself to leave the house dirty and get out for a little while. As for the kids not eating what you cook, how about letting your daughter pick a favorite meal or two so that she is involved in the process? The baby will be picky, its just a stage so this is where the patients kicks in. LOL 
I wish I lived closer because my daughter is baby crazy and would watch both of them in a heart beat!
Just a thought, maybe you could run an ad for a highschool girl to come babysit while you go to the salon for your nails or a massage?
Take care, I think we all feel this way at times.
BIG HUGS!!! Ditto the others. I only have ONE child and a DH that does NOT travel and there's never enough time in the day to get done what I need to. I work 2 half days/week also, and I find that makes HUGE difference. I decided a few months ago (finally) to not stress about house stuff anymore unless it was really necessary (like we're having a party or something!) I quit working so I could be home with DD, not clean my house, and I found that chores and "stuff" was getting in the way of me enjoying/raising my daughter. It's a hard step and I still don't always do so well following it, but it has definitely helped. Of course my house stays pretty clean and looks just fine, it's not that it's not a job of mine, but I put it in perspective. My rule at the end of the day is that if everything is picked up and fairly tidy and we have clean clothes, I'm happy! There may be dog hair in the carpet and dust on my furniture but DD and I painted, pretended, and went to the pool so that's what counts.
You are definitely living the single-parent life at the moment while your DH is out of town and I feel for you. It's hard so don't beat yourself up too much and don't set your expectations too high. I agree...we all feel this way sometimes. Relax, take a bit for yourself and smile when you look at your pile of dirty clothes or the toys scattered everywhere. One of these days we all will wish our kiddos were little again and we'll miss the "mess". {{{HUGS}}}
Oh, Eve. You sound like me last month. Dh was almost always gone and the kids were driving me nuts, and the house just couldn't stay clean and I just felt overwhelmed and blah. Sound familiar?
What I did was take a deep breath, and keep only one room clean so we could hang out in it. I also made sure I tried to keep up with the dishes. That was it. I went outside with the boys every day. Not to the park or anything, just outside in the backyard. That made a huge difference for me in my mood and it got the wiggles out of the boys. I also did something I hadn't done in forever. I polished my nails. I felt pretty and it helped me with mood even more.
Slowly, things just kinda got back to normal (for what normal is around here) and I was able to get back on track. Is my house immaculate? Not a chance. It's picked up and fairly clean. I'm sure I can go around the house and find a million things that still need to be done, as I'm sure anyone else here can. But, hey, that can wait. My boys and their childhood won't.
I hope some of this helps. ((HUGS))
I was a single parent for 16 months and what really saved me was hiring a babysitter or bringing the kids to someone else for 3 hours. With that time, you can plan ahead for things or just go shopping by yourself.
Or...just breathe (sans tick). {{{Eve}}}
Eve, hugs to you! Ditto Heidi on the help. After I had my son I suffered from some serious overwhlmedness (is it even a word? ). I got somebody in three afternoons a week just so I could go and do something (or do nothing ). It was the best thing.
I was much better prepared when Helen came along. And now, I really feel like I am in control of our day, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Like Syd, my son just finished Kindergarten, so I know how demanding it is to be the mom behind the kindergartner.
Take a deep breath, and do what you can - not what you think you ought.
Just be happy you're not selling your house right now. Ours is on the market and it must look pristine should a realtor call and want to bring a client.
Ame
I feel for you! My dh is working 2 jobs right now and we have one car. It needs a starter which can't be put in until Tuesday, so I haven't taken the kids anywhere lately because I'm afraid it won't start. My house is fairly straight, but not as much as when my older 2 were in school. I'm trying to not care,lol! It's so hard with the pressure we put on ourselves to do everything perfect and right now. I found that at the end of the day I'm happier if we had a board game marathon, watched a movie together or did a craft instead of me trying to distract the kids so I can clean something. They are happier too and that's the point. I think we all need reminded of that sometimes, I know I do. Hugs!
Move over in the boat, cause I'm coming in! My life was a dream when DD started K a few years back, and then I tossed in a baby and add a summer here and there...that's a great mix for insanity.
Hugs to all of you.
LOL, Dana...come on in! Just bring a paddle. ;)
Thanks everyone. I'm doing better. It just seemed like everything that could happen, did. Like a virus on my computer and it shutting down every 10 minutes and the tick just sent me over the edge. LOL DH is home and I'm feeling better.
Oh, and I do agree about not stressing over the house being messy. This was just beyond a mess. I wasn't trying to clean toilets or anything, I was waking up to the dinner I never cleaned up! I just got tired and never cleaned it up. Then, DS came into bed with me and his diaper leaked on my bed....it was just things like that...they don't happen often, but when they do....stress! LOL
Thanks again for letting me vent and it's nice to know that everyone feels it sometimes.
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