My 3 year old DS needs glasses

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2003: My 3 year old DS needs glasses

Oh ladies, my heart is sad right now. We went to the opt. this morning and he is far sited. I don't mind the glasses as much, I just wish so bad that he wasn't far sited. The glasses he needs will magnify his eyes. He is such a soft, sweet and reserved boy. I hate the thought of him being bullied and made fun of.

The signs were all there, it was pretty obvious. It's good to know he's not so clumsy after all DH is also far sited with horrid vision (still not even a candidate for lasik ).

Of course on the grand scheme of things I would rather he need glasses than bone marrow. I don't mean to sound petty. My heart is just aching for my sweet son.

On a positive note DS has no clue this is not "a good thing" Dh and I are being positive for him and making it exciting for him. He got to pick out some electric blue (his favorite color) frames and they are Disney so he thinks they are Toy Story . They didn't have them in stock so we aren't "commited" to them until we get to try them on. I'm going to shop around to see if I can find them cheaper. Our insurance pays $75.00 so we'll have to pay 27 out of our pocket. HMMM.

Do any of you have children with glasses? Any advice on good frames or anything else?
As always, TIA for your constant support .

By Dana on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 07:49 pm:

Sounds like you are handling things just right.

Not the same thing, but I had HUGE freckles as a child and HATED THEM! DD has freckles (and I really don't think they are attractive) but I have done nothing but make her feel special about having them. Self image is everything. If the person w/ the different glasses, freckles, spaced teeth, whatever, feels good about themselves than others around them do too.

Thinking back to my childhood, I remember several kids who had "odd" differences but because they were comfortable about it, so was everyone else...infact they were usually pretty popular.

By Trina on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 08:00 pm:

When I was teaching (PreK, K and Gr. 3) I had several students who wore glasses. I kept an eye out for ridiculing but never witnessed it. If anything the other kids thought they were cool! I hope things are that way for your son. I would recommend looking into replacement insurance. Kids are kids and glasses get broken often. They really do have cute glasses now, not the thick, black horn rimmed ones like when we were little.

Dana, I still have my freckles and am fond of them! Funny, neither of my kids have them.

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 08:43 pm:

I have worn glasses since 4th grade. I'm nearsighted, and have small eyes, so they make them look even smaller. I wore contacts from 7th grade on, and just started wearing glasses again recently. I know your heart is sad and it's hard to see something like that for such a young child, but it'll be ok. And eventually, if he wants, he can have contacts or LASIK to get rid of the glasses. ((((HUGS)))) Really, it'll be fine!

By Melanie on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 09:05 pm:

No words of advice, but I have no doubt your handsome little man is going to look quite snazzy in his new glasses! He is such a cutie! LOL, I guess he is going to have to really be careful next time he rides down our hill on the scooter, huh?

By Ginnyk on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 01:09 am:

My oldest was also farsighted and had to start wearing glasses at about the same age. Be sure to get the strap that keeps them on his head (like athletes wear). Be sure he takes them off before he falls asleep, as sleeping on the frames will eventually distort them (which is what I have done to mine). I hope you got the "unbreakable" lenses and got them with anti-scratch treatment, because that will be a necessity. And check every so often to be sure the ear pieces haven't gotten bent and are not making sore spots on top of his ears.

What the eye doctor told me, for my dear oldest son, is that he was so farsighted that anything closer than six feet was a big blur (and he was cross-eyed because of it, which was the clue to the farsightedness). For the first few weeks of glasses he went around putting his nose up close to things and just looking, because he had never been able to see really see them before and, according to the doc, he had never been able to really see me or his father before - not close up.
Be sure to get his eyes checked every year - my son's prescription changed every so often.

Oh, and when he is doing something athletic, like riding down Melanie's hill on his scooter, he should take his glasses off and put them in a safe place. I'd suggest getting a hard case for his glasses - in fact, get a couple - one to keep on his dresser for putting them in a safe place at night, and one for taking with him so if he is doing something that puts the glasses at risk he has a safe place to put them. The sooner he gets into the habit of putting them in the same place every time, the fewer pairs of glasses will get lost.

If you don't make a big thing of it, he won't. And he will really enjoy being able to see things close up. Good thing you caught this now, before he starts school, as it would have been a real problem with learning how to read.

As for good frames, as an almost life-long wearer of glasses, I have been really pleased with the frames with the special hinge where the actual hinge is a bit back on the ear piece, not right where the ear piece joins the lens frame itself. There is a special name for this which I forget. I used to have problems with the ear pieces getting bent or distorted, and have not had that problem since I started getting this kind of hinge. Oh, and I got clip-on, flip up/down sun glasses for my son, because I couldn't afford prescription sunglasses for him. He thought they were neat, especially flipping them up when he came inside.

By Feona on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 09:05 am:

I am sure he will do fine with the glasses. It is such a blessing to be able to see everything with the glasses! I have been wearing glasses forever. I heard people get glasses even if they don't need them because they are so stylish!

Do they make extra thin frames for him?

By Karen55 on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 09:06 am:

Liesa, I've worn glasses since I was 6. Jeff was born crosseyed. My dad, and both of my sisters, and my sister's son also had this condition; all had surgeries to correct it. Overall, Jeff's had 5 eye surgeries, the first one when he was 10 months old, the 2nd one at 14 months old. At 15 months old, he was wearing bifocal glasses. Trust me, it's not the end of the world! You're doing the right thing, making it fun for him. And once his vision is improved with the glasses, he won't WANT to be without them. Jeff no longer has to wear glasses, but that could change. Good eyesight just does not run in my family. LOL My sister's son wears glasses. She had trouble with him in the beginning, but now he will NOT go without them. And every time he gets new ones, he LOVES to pick out his own frames.
As for frames for a 3 y/o, when Jeff and my nephew were that age, the frames mostly came with the stems that sort of wrapped around the back of their ears, they were flexible there, it helped keep them on. I know my description probably sounds horrible, but once the glasses were on them, you couldn't tell anything was different about the frames. Pay the extra few dollars for scratch resistant/unbreakable lenses and frames with spring hinges if you can find them. When Jeff was wearing them, we could get his lenses replaced free if they scratched. With a 3 y/o, you will almost definitely encounter that, so it's worth it. Just be prepared that accidents will happen, it's an adjustment and a responsibility, wearing and taking care of the glasses. You'll have to teach him how to take care of them, and not to lay them on tables, etc. lens DOWN, etc. Jeff went through quite a few sets of lenses when he was young, due to scratches or something happening when he was playing. Also, he will probably need new frames every year or so because he will be growing and he will outgrow the frames. As Ginny said, make sure you check them often.
And.........good luck! He (and you) will be FINE once you are used to them. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

By Tunnia on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 09:32 am:

My dd has worn glasses since she was 18 months old and I just asked her and she says she has never been teased about them. They make really cute frames for kids these days and when we get new glasses we try on several frames to see which ones fit the shape of her face the best. Right now she is wearing light pink Barbie glasses that are adorable. She has never worn a strap around her head (I think they are so ugly) and we have never had a problem with her glasses coming off, even during her gymnastics classes. We just make sure they fit properly before we buy them. The worst thing about my dd's glasses are the few rude people who ask me, right in front of her, "What's wrong with her eyes?" I typically respond with, "Nothing" and walk away. Other than that, dd's glasses have been a positive experience. Please don't be sad for your ds. It's wonderful that he has a correctable eye problem and he will now be able to see well.

By Feona on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 10:09 am:

Sorry, I meant do they make extra thin lenses for him? They might be more attractive.

By Karen55 on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 10:27 am:

Liesa, just wanted to add this, when Jeff was really young, maybe your son's age, or a little older, there were a few kids who teased him about his glasses. Unfortunately, kids can be incredibly cruel, and this is probably the norm. I told him to tell them the glasses made him smarter. LOL At least it made them stop and think! And guess what? He WAS smarter than those kids! LOL

By Mechelle on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 04:29 pm:

I've wore glasses since I was 5. I ws never teased (too much).

My Ds has been wearing glasses sice asge 5, he has not been made in fun of *yet*...

They have some very stylish frames too. He's got a pair now (I love em) blueish green, instead of being round shaped, they are square looking, makes him look (professionaly smart)(espically with a mowhawk too LOL!)

Another thing, Ds eye Doc. made the prescription bi-focal. For the reason, of the lens he needs to see to read out of is on the bottom, straight glass only on the top. He said with kids his age, it "Burns them out" on glasses having to take them off, to watch tv, or see the black board, nad put put them back on and etc. He was right!
About last year my DS was sick of wearing glasses, he said he's glad that he dosne't have to wear them but only to read, and not having to take them off all the time.
So you might want to ask about that. Maybe that will help too on the wear and tear of his glasses.

By Kittycat_26 on Monday, February 3, 2003 - 08:24 am:

I too have been in glasses since I was three. Though I don't remember wearing them that young I do remember that the spring hinges saved me many times as I got older. Most frames come that way now but I would stear away from any that don't.

It's good that he's excited about getting the glasses. It will teach him so much responsibility when he takes care of them.

Good luck.

By Lieska on Monday, February 3, 2003 - 11:56 am:

Gosh Ladies what a wonderful amount of info and support you have given me!!! Thank you so much!

Right now he is so excited to be getting his glasses. He keeps asking when he'll get them. I am excited for him to see. I told him the other day when he told me he thought I was pretty "If you think I'm pretty now, you wait until you see me with your glasses on. You'll think I'm beautiful! LOL. He blushed. He is so sweet I tell ya!

You guys really got me thinking about sports and swimming and sleeping. What a pain that all sounds but I'm sure like anything, once we've adjusted we won't even notice.

I will be sure when we order them to get the "extra necessities" for a 3 year old. He mentioned most of what you suggested. I thought they were his sales pitches LOL! I guess maybe he does have my sons best interest in mind after all .

LOL Karen, I'll remember that! And Ginny, I can't believe you remember that hill story!

By Ginnyk on Monday, February 3, 2003 - 12:59 pm:

I didn't, Lieska - Melanie referred to it in her post.

By Feona on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 - 08:51 am:

I think most place sell 1 year insurance on glasses. Should not be more than $25.

Make sure you know what it covers though.

By Lieska on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 - 11:52 am:

LOl Ginny Thanks for the correction. I did read it in Melanie's too, I just didn't put 2 and 2 together. I was still feeling soft and fuzzy from Melanie telling me he was a cutie

By Sassy on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 - 01:51 pm:

Just a little rhyme from our eye doctor - "If they not on your face, they should be in their case". Getting a "COOL" glass case made all the difference when my ds got them last April at 5 1/2. We found out at Kindergarten screening that he not only could see but was having trouble with colors. The eye doctor found astigmatism and red/green deficiency (color blind)! We had no idea. He is fine though and soaring through Kindergarten. Good luck - soon it will be no big deal. Cathy

By Ginnyk on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 - 07:00 pm:

Lieska, I posted earlier but somehow it didn't take. Are there bike helmets with visors, like motorcycle helmets, that your ds could wear when using his scooter, trike or bike? Maybe he would think the visor is "cool" and it might help protect his glasses as well as his face.

By Ginnyk on Tuesday, February 4, 2003 - 07:02 pm:

By the way, kids can lose anything. My youngest lost his space maintainer, which was supposed to be in his mouth 24/7 to fill the space from two top front lost baby teeth until his permanent teeth came in.