My Natalie has hit the terrible three's in the last few weeks...hard! One problem(among others) that started more than a week is full-on peeing in her pants. Peeing on the floor even today, naked between a clothes change. I started the first few days with the response of sadness, "oh I'm sorry you didn't go on the potty. I can't imagine why you wouldn't do that, you're such a big girl" and changed her. As the days have gone on, I've immediately removed a VERY favorite toy and put in time-out. Cries briefly, then it's always a comment the next time (with a smile) that "Mommy, what are you going to put in the closet this time? Maybe you should put away my XYZ" !!!!!!!!!!!!! Today she peed on the floor (I didn't know), came and told me, then ran off laughing. (Blood begins to boil.) We talked about maybe she should be in diapers again, she seemed unhappy with that idea. We put a diaper on and she's over that. She thinks it's fun to pretend to be a baby. Lastnight we headed to the potty before leaving the house and she said "I already peed while I was watching TV on the couch". Oh my....this kid has done a flip-flop in the last few weeks. I don't know where my sweet girl is most of the time.

We talked about maybe letting her pee in the diapers (if she does) and not changing it right away. Is that the cruelest thing you've ever heard??? Maybe she won't like that feeling. She always wants her diaper changed first thing in the morning.

The only thing we haven't tried is completely ignoring. I honestly think she enjoys this whole game, it has nothing to do with peeing. She's been trained for a year. She had some issues with this some months back, then stopped abruptly one day. She's been fine since, then one day a week or so ago this started. RARELY, if ever, does she NOT pee her pants.

Not to mention the always having the last word, every punishment turns into a game (time-out means time to role-play under her breath with her fingers). I took her entire tub of Shrek toys away (THE toys around here) and 10 min. later she came to me with "Can you help me find something I can pretend to be Shrek? Donkey? etc" She has such a fantastic imagination and is way too smart for her own good.

DH and I are at a loss. Do you really think we should ignore? And after the things we've tried so far, will we be "going back" on what we said we would do? If we start ignoring, what should we say to her, because I KNOW she will say "But I peed in my pants Mommy, aren't you going to put something in the closet? But wait, you have to put something in the closet."
Help! TIA

By Reds9298 on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 03:49 pm:

Also took her swingset away for the day...could care less. Intend to give something back with a success, but we haven't had ONE.

By Juli4 on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 04:05 pm:

I am right there with you. My 3 year old has been peeing her pants and has even pooped in her pants a few times. She also smiles while I get her in trouble and makes things not as serious as it is. I thought it was because of the baby (7months). I don't know wha to do either. I have two older girls and neither one of them have done this before.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 04:30 pm:

Nice to know I'm not alone, although sorry you're going through the same thing. She will get to the bathroom for pooping...if her life depended on it she would. That's the ONLY time she doesn't pee her pants. I'm not even calling them "accidents" anymore. It has nothing to do with accident, but choice. Isn't it frustrating?

By Rayelle on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 06:23 pm:

My dd is also 3 and she did something similar last fall. She wouldn't poop in her pants, but she peed in her pants for about 2 weeks. At the time she had been completely potty trained for over 6 months. She kept telling me she was too big for her potty chair. I didn't get it. How could she be too big to go potty? Then I realized she wanted to go on the regular potty like everyone else, so I got her the seat you put on the toilet instead of the separate chair. Problem solved! I hope this turns out to be something as simple for you too.

As for the attitude, I wish I knew what to tell you! I remember taking every single toy out of my kids playroom when my ds was 3. Everything, there was carpet and walls. I expected sadness, but he gleefully ran around happy as a lark to have all that space! My other dd at 3 would stomp and pout all the time. I don't remember how it ended, it just did. Maybe it was a phase? good luck!

By Vicki on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 07:27 pm:

Oh my, you have hit the terrible threes full force haven't you? The great news is that your not alone!! I think dd turned into a demon child on her 3rd birthday. The bad news, you have a solid year of this. I am not kidding. DD turned back into a normal acting child right about her 4th birthday. It lasted almost exactly a full year to the day. Started completely out of the blue and ended just the same.


You have to find something that bothers her for her punishment. Is there ANYTHING you can think of that she loves? That she would be crushed to either not be able to do or a toy she would be devistated if she lost? DD's thing was going to the park. She loved going to the park to play. We went almost daily. That is what I used. You can't be a big girl then you can't do big girl things like going to the park.

Just be ready........temper tantrums are likely next.....

By Reds9298 on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 08:08 pm:

Oh yes, the tantrums are definitely here as well. "Okay, the timer went off it's time for bed"...screaaammm! "Okay, time for supper" (in the middle og playing)....screaaammm!

I'm so glad that 3-yr old demon children are the norm. My goodness I hope it doesn't last a year or I may go back to work, LOL. I will try to think beyond the house for taking things away...no park, no pool, no computer games at the library. Those are biggies for her.
Rayelle- My DH said there are just so many toys to take away from her, and when she doesn't care so far about her faves, what to do? Empty out the family room of toys? Empty her room? It's so hard to know what will work.
Thank you!!! Any other cool ideas are welcomed, or BTDT's, too. I really want to not feel so frustrated with her all the time, although from what I've heard this is just the time for that age-wise. I will feel so much better if the peeing stops!

By Tunnia on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 09:30 pm:

We went through this with my youngest and I found that making him clean himself up, change his clothes, put the wet clothes into the laundry and clean up the mess on the floor worked better than any timeout or punishment. I simply, without fanfare, made it his problem. He whined and cried about how he couldn't do it, and oh how he didn't like touching the "pee-pee" clothes, but I would state every time that he made the mess and it was his job to clean it up and not mine. If you feel the need to do a better cleaning job after your dd, don't let her see you do it. Good luck and try not to stress it. Clothes are washable, carpets are steamable, wood and tile are mop-able and when she realizes that it's not a fun game anymore she'll move on to the next thing.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, June 3, 2007 - 10:10 pm:

Another good idea that in my frustration I didn't think of! I like that because it seems like a natural consequence. I can see her getting real tired of taking care of the whole mess, from start to finish. Thanks.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, June 4, 2007 - 08:46 am:

My sister has applied the you make it you clean it up rule. She was even making DD take a bath every time she did it. Her DD is a busy busy girl and having to take time to clean up her mess and hop in the tub and wash off was driving her to fits. But my sister stayed firm and did it every time and eventually her dd has all but stopped. She had an accident the other day, outside playing and was running to the house deal. My sister still had her clean up herself because she was concerned that if she saw mom cleaning her up she would revert.. But so far so good.. To see her out washing the seat of the swing off, was quite a sight but whatever works is my opinion... My sister pulled the, "OH, I am so sorry you couldn't make it to the potty, (pouting) I guess you better get yourself cleaned up." Then she hangs back and gives direction and watches but she doesn't per se help her..

Best of luck and you aren't alone in this.. Hopefully something will click with her..

By Juli4 on Monday, June 4, 2007 - 10:02 am:

Yeah that is a good idea to make her clean herself up. I haven't thought of that either. She spends the night and weekends at my in laws and doesn't do this at all. So I get to hear the upity "well we have no problems at all. she knows she will get in trouble here". Always indicating we don't discipline them. So frustrating.

By Dancermom on Monday, June 4, 2007 - 10:17 pm:

Wow, I wish I would have thought of having my daughters clean up their own mess. I think all three went through this at one time or another.

The youngest was the worst.

Good luck.

By Amecmom on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 - 09:56 am:

Deanna,
I just read your post about the meds. Could they be affecting her behavior and her body such that she's not controlling herself? Zyrtec at night would dry her out. She might just be having too much urine to control during the day.

Could you try putting her on a bathroom schedule again? You know, every morning, mid morning, before lunch ... etc? Just make her sit on the potty and see if she'll go.

I know it's frustraiting. Hang in there. This too shall pass - no pun intended.
Ame

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 - 11:37 am:

Ame- She's still peeing a ton at night, so I don't *think* that's it. She's been on the Zyrtec for at least 3 mths., maybe 4, and these peeing issues just started in the last couple of weeks.
Thanks for the support everyone!

By Mia on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 - 01:57 pm:

Zyrtec can cause huge behavioral problems. Please try taking her off of it for a few days and see if things improve - our son improved almost overnight. Zyrtec could be causing your dd to act out and the bathroom issues and associated attitude may just be an expression of that.

Even our ped agrees that Zyrtec can cause problems for some kids. We now use Clarinex instead.