Moodiness rearing it's ugly head

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Robin's SO moody lately. He can be fine one minute, and then blow up the next. Last night he was wheepy, which really isn't him. I have a horrible time getting him to do any schoolwork at all. He's going to end up getting kicked out of COVA if he keeps this up. His SPED teacher is going to call him today and see what she can do. Last night he said he wants to quit karate. He's been doing it for three years and he's just 6-8 months away from his jr black belt! I really don't want to force it, so I told him he could take a break for a month. I did tell him I want him to really think about whether he really wants to quit or not. He's getting frustrated because it's getting harder and more is expected of him because he's higher ranking. He also hates sparing. He's not very good at it because of the processing speed problem. Last night he totally lost it. He was knocking a wooden plaque I have off the wall, kicking the wall and kitchen cabinets (I bet his foot's sore today), yelling and screaming, threatening to call 911 and tell them Dad abuses him (not) and marking on the wall (with a colored pencil and get this--wiping snot on the wall--ew!). Then he kept hitting his ear. When we asked him why he said it kept popping. Man, I hope his ear isn't infected. Well, in a way I hope that IS it because it would at least explain this behavior. But this is the ear he's had surgery on twice and he doesn't need that. At least he wasn't threatening to hurt himself or anyone else. Dh wasn't much help. He threatened to leave and that really upset Robin. As much as Robin claims to hate his dad, he doesn't want him to leave. Go figure. I kept thinking, *Go!* At least then I could deal with Robin in peace. It's like having two 13yo! Dh really ticked me off by telling Robin, "I'll stay, but if you pull this crap again I'm leaving you!" Not I'm leaving--"I'm leaving you." Ouch. Dh really doesn't get it. He blames the pdoc saying he (pdoc) refuses to do anything, meaning increase his meds. Honestly, I'd like to take him OFF all his meds! I'm not sure they help anyway! *sigh* The bad thing if he decides to quit karate after taking a break is we've already paid for the seminar in July. We've bought plane tickets and everything. Robin would still go (he can't stay home alone all day for a week); he'd just watch. There are a couple other kids and parents doing that. I'd still have a $375 seminar ticket that would be wasted. I don't think I can transfer it to someone else. Ugh. That's what dh is most upset about--the money. Yeah, his priorities are set, aren't they. I'm going to talk to our instructor and see what he thinks. If this is just a depression cycle that Robin needs to get through, quiting would be a bad thing. Especially since Randy will continue to advance and then if/when Robin decided to go back Randy will be higher ranking than Robin. That wouldn't be pretty.

Hopefully today is a better day.

By Tink on Tuesday, March 6, 2007 - 10:11 am:

O. M. Gosh. I am so sorry that things are so hard right now, Cat. Nothing is ever, EVER easy with these guys, is it? And as if Robin's temper and depression aren't enough, your dh is being so completely unhelpful. I'd talk to your instructor about Robin quitting. I understand you not wanting to force it on him but it seems like karate has been nothing but a good thing for him so far. Get his ear checked ASAP. All of this could be easily triggered by that. Seth has just gotten over some major behavioral issues, once we started him on melatonin so he's finally getting a good night's sleep for the first time in 9 months.

{{{Cat}}} I truly hope this blows over soon and that school, karate and home settle down into your version of normalcy.

By Cat on Tuesday, March 6, 2007 - 10:56 am:

Thanx, Cori. Robin threw up this morning. I have no idea why. He was fine one minute, threw up and then was fine again. I swear he's a medical mystery! His ear isn't bothering him now and other than his voice being a little horse (maybe from all the yelling and screaming last night?) he's fine. I still can't get him to do his work! It's SO frustrating. I'm going to look into Omega 3/fish oil. I've heard good things about it.

Thanx for the hugs.

By Lauram on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 10:29 pm:

UGH. I'm so sorry you've been going through this. D has been randomly throwing up, too lately. I'm convinced he may have an ulcer. I can't get D to do any work either.... He was up until 10:30 last night doing it (it should have taken him 10 minutes).

We just filed a complaint with the state- 22 violations. We have 60 days to hear, but are hoping the district will take us to mediation and will outplace him. What a nightmare.

By Cat on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 04:25 pm:

Is it that time of year, Laura??? Robin hasn't gotten much better. He's not sick (no more throwing up and his voice is back)--just moody! I just wish I knew if it was puberty, the bipolar, him butting heads with his dad or Robin just being a defiant little brat! I can't fix the problem if I don't know what it is! At the karate tournament Saturday he ended up going out and sitting in the car most of the day because he said he was bored. Later I found out it was really because he hadn't made it to the bathroom in time and didn't want everyone to see him with wet pants (he waits until the last minute--I feel like I have to bring extra clothes everywhere!). Then Sunday at church he and Randy got into a little tift before the service and he ended up sitting in the car all through church. The youth pastor, who Robin loves, went out and talked to him after church and he came back in for a few minutes before we left. It's almost like he's avoiding almost everything and becoming more of a loner. For someone with social skills problems, that's not good! I don't know what to do with him. I did tell him he can't quit karate because he needs the PE credit and the outlet. I told him if he doesn't want to spar we can talk to the instructor about that, but he probably won't get promoted to the next belt level if he doesn't. He is on the trampoline right now with Randy, a daycare kiddo (9yo he's really good friends with) and a 17yo neighbor (also a really good friend). So at least he's out of the house, but he's got 8 math lessons to do!!! Oh, WHY couldn't I get 2 easy kids. Hey, do you think that Easy button would work on Robin??? HHhmmmm...

Good luck with the complaint. That's outrageous. I'm getting more and more disenheartened with the public school system. Hugs

By Lauram on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 10:03 pm:

Nope- the buttons don't work. Yes- it's definitely THAT time of year. D has big circles under his eyes tonight. I know it's bad when he looks like that.

State is siding with me on the complaint, but they can only do so much. (Procedural). Called a PPT (scheduled for April 4th) and we're going for outplacement. If not, we'll take them to due process.

By Lauram on Thursday, March 29, 2007 - 06:03 pm:

We're starting a mood stabilizer tonight. UGH... I'm FREAKING out.

By Cat on Thursday, March 29, 2007 - 08:26 pm:

Which one? Robin took risperdal for a while a few years ago and is now on abilify. I think there was something negative about risperdal a while back. I'll have to look that up. Good luck and hugs.

By Lauram on Thursday, March 29, 2007 - 09:59 pm:

Trileptal. He's already on Seroquel (low dose- for tics and anxiety) and Wellbutrin in addition to a bunch of asthma meds. (He took Risperdal at one point- at a low dose it helps with tics- but he had tremendous weight gain and also had a problem with a female hormone- prolactin???) We never used Abilify, but it came up as a possibility at one point. Again, that can be used for tics at a low dose. Don't know if you can get the tic benefit at a high dose, though. Maybe that's why she went this route.... UGH. I hate the med game.

By Cat on Friday, March 30, 2007 - 07:53 am:

I think trileptal is the one Robin took for three months and gained almost 20lbs! He didn't gain anything while on risperdal. Be careful. We never had the tics to worry about. Robin does have a couple, but they're mild. I hate the med game, too.

By Kaye on Friday, March 30, 2007 - 08:00 am:

ditto a "hate the med game" from me too! Good luck with this.

By Lauram on Friday, March 30, 2007 - 03:24 pm:

Hmmm... Interesting. The reason he's taking it is because it doesn't have the weight gain problem- at least AS MUCH as some of the others (lithium, depakote). My son gained A TON on Risperdal. Does Robin get paradoxical reactions?

By Cat on Friday, March 30, 2007 - 03:29 pm:

With some meds, yes. When other moms loved giving their toddlers things like cold meds and benadryl, I hated it because it'd hype him up! Same with caffeine. Robin's on lithium now (has been for almost 3 years) and still at 13 1/2yo weighs in at a mere 92lbs. He'll always be skinny (except when on the trileptal!).

By Lauram on Friday, March 30, 2007 - 06:04 pm:

Wow. That's how much D weighs (at almost 10)! So does he take Lithium AND Abilify? (That would be like the combo D is on- Trileptal and Seroquel. He's also on Wellbutrin though).

By Cat on Wednesday, April 4, 2007 - 09:24 am:

Yes, Laura. Lithium and abilify are the only meds he's on right now. I'm thinking we may need to do something about the ADHD again, though. He's SO distractable!!! I hate when I finally get him working and something little and silly grabs his attention and I totally lose him. We do start therapy again next week, though. It's with someone he saw about 5 years ago. We stopped seeing him because he didn't seem to be getting anywhere with Robin. We did really like him, though. I want Robin to have someone else to talk to and another opinion about what's going on. I'm really second guessing the whole bipolar dx at this point. We'll see how it goes.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, April 4, 2007 - 02:24 pm:

Just wanted to butt in and say I feel for you both and give you a big hug... It sucks going through all of this.. In my case my child (DH, lol) is 42 years old and stubborn as heck...

By Kaye on Thursday, April 5, 2007 - 11:56 am:

Cat we have been going round and round on medications. Long story, but this week (we are day 7 now) we started giving Andrew a b vitamin complex. It is really helping him. It is supposed to give energy, but for him it seems to really be calming him down and helping his focus. Last school week was the worst we have had in sometime, this week there has been a huge change. I forget his vit yesterday am, when he came home I noticed a huge difference. I hope this keeps up, but thought it might be worth mentioning to you.

By Cat on Thursday, April 5, 2007 - 03:42 pm:

I'll have to look into that, Kaye. Thanx.

By Lauram on Thursday, April 5, 2007 - 05:33 pm:

interesting....

By Kaye on Thursday, April 5, 2007 - 11:28 pm:

www.all-natural.com/add.html

This is an interesting read. I don't buy all of the info, but when we are already playing the med game if I can add a vitamin and not just another drug I am happy. I think next time my little guy gets bloodwork I am going to ask about doing a vitamin anaylsis too!

btw he had another good day today, afterschool my dd had a golf tournament, he sat in the car and behaved for over 2 hours, I really am hopeful that this is the answer for us.

By Mildred on Thursday, May 22, 2008 - 12:42 am:

Wow! Every time I start thinking we have it rough with our little guy, I read about someone else and know how blessed we are! Our Charles is 7 and so far his only diagnosis is "developmental delays". He didn't talk till he was about 3 months past his 4th birthday so we are in the process of having him evaluated again. Anyway, I thought I'd add a few things that seem to help him, knowing that nothing is ever predictable except that he will be UNpredictable! Cat mentioned Omega3/fish oils. I am trying those on Charles as well as I read that they help children who have food issues related to sensory perception. I know if he gets calcium and protein in the evening he sleeps much better. Protein snacks throughout the day seem to help him stay on a more even keel emotionally. Keeping his fruit/vegetable intake up makes a difference in his bowel movements which means fewer accidents as he isn't waiting too long now that it doesn't hurt so much to go. We supplement with a good multi-vitamin and also keep working on introducing new foods while trying to cut back on his carbs. We're hoping that when he sees the pediatrician in Sept. they will give us a better diagnosis and there may be more specific things we can do.

By Cat on Saturday, May 24, 2008 - 10:35 am:

Welcome, Mildred (my grandmother's oldest sister was named Mildred ). You've found an old post! Not a lot has changed since then, though. We did change meds a bit (no more lithium, and he's on a newer drug called invega, which is just a reformulation of risperdal) and I have added the Omega 3/fish oils. Robin is a carb craver, too, but fortunately loves things like cheese (high in protein) and fruits. His bathroom accidents have gotten better, especially since we stopped the lithium (coincidence? Maybe not, who knows). We tried to add concerta for the ADHD and after two major incidents in one week we stopped that! We see a psychologist in about 2 weeks to set up yet another therapist. The one I mentioned going to again didn't work out--again. He's really a great guy, but a bit too mellow for Robin and again, we weren't getting anywhere. I tried to have a full evaluation done, but the doc we saw said if Robin won't cooperate there's no point in trying because it would just be a waste of time and money. He did notice that all the therapists we've tried in the past have been social workers and not psychologists, so he gave us some recommendations and that's what we're trying next. We also have an appointment with an orthopedist because a recent x-ray showed what looks like degeneration in Robin's femur (he'd been having knee pain for months). We don't know if it's growth related (he's gone from a size 12 pants to a size 16 in the past 8 months), med related or something else. It's scary, though.

It sounds like you're very in tuned to Charles's needs and the dietary things you're trying are helping. Is there a reason you have to wait until September to see the ped? I'm glad you found us here. Keep us updated on how things are going.