hi the other day i had to take my son to the dr.
he has autism and is 22 months old
anyway the nurse who gets his weight and temp made the comment that he is big enough that you dont need to do rectal temps anymore that is the easy way for us he has a fit any other way.
i feel she is the one who is clueless not me.
am i wrong for letting that bother me? i get so much unwanted advice from people who dont understand.

By Kiki on Saturday, February 11, 2006 - 01:24 pm:

I think the nurse is the one who was insensitive. It's probably the same comment she would say to a parent whose child does not have special needs. She just wasn't thinking. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

A friend of mine has two children that suffer from autism and I know how she struggles to keep them calm at times and sticking to their routine.

By Kaye on Saturday, February 11, 2006 - 01:25 pm:

From a nurse, I would try to stap back and say okay why did she say that. Have you tried an ear thermometer. Really rectal temps are not the norm, most people don't do them and docs tend to do them when they need an EXACT temp. But they can be dangerous, and if he ever fights you that is not where you want something stuck So I would guess her comment was not out of stupidity (like oh so many you will get) but out of concern and knowledge.

However, what do do about those stupid people..okay not stupid, but clueless. Often I just try to ignore them. Sometimes I will say, "it woudl be so much easier if my kid fit the book". Or "God must really think I am stronger than I feel to give me a child who has such special needs", and out of anger I have said "i would never wish a day of my life on you, because you have no clue what it is like"

By Marcia on Saturday, February 11, 2006 - 03:08 pm:

I always try to remember that unless a person has a child with special needs, she/he doesn't have a clue. I don't think the nurse was being rude or insensitive, just stating what was normal - from her experience. I would calmly say that I understand where she's coming from, but because of the need to do things exactly the same way, which is normal for someone with autism, it has to be done a certain way. Unless the person was a rude, uncaring person, the advice would probably be welcome.
I come across this type of thing on so many levels. I am an adoptive mom, so might hear questions about "their REAL parents". I could take offense, but choose to answer in a way that will educate. I have children in wheelchairs, and might be asked something about that. I have kids with invisible disabilities, and have also heard comments about some behaviours. I truly believe that in all situations, being friendly and informative will get the best results. Even if the person is an absolute idiot, your child doesn't need to hear any backlash from you. (not saying you did that, just talking in general)

By Feona on Sunday, February 12, 2006 - 11:12 am:

We used to tell john that the you could hear the kitty with the ear temp device(the beeps) . Hope that helps. I don't think she meant anything by it. Nurses are usually nice. Sometimes it is people just have a sensitive day. or a foot in the mouth day.