Problems Again...
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Children with Special Needs: Problems Again...
I am so sick of teachers who don't listen when you tell them something about your child.
I got a phone call from Jordan this morning telling me that she was in Social Studies and she was getting a 0/100 for a major test grade because she didn't turn in a project. (at first I thought the teacher was doing what I asked by letting me know this was the first time and what was happening).
Then, I emailed the teacher stating that I understand why you gave her a 0 and I wanted to know how I can tell if she has any homework in her class from now on because I couldn't find anything about this assignment on her website or in the parenting website that the school has where we can see upcoming assignments and grades. She then emailed me and told me that she doesn't put the assignments on her website ever and that she only puts the assignments in the parent thing after she has graded them. And that this project was actually due Thursday 9/26 and she asked Jordan for it for 3 days. So there is no chance of doing anything about the grade because at this point it is too late, if it is early enough (you normally have 3 days) sometimes you can turn things in late and get 70% of your grade. She also said that this is not the first assignment that Jordan has failed to turn in and I asked why I hadn't been notified about those and she said that she hasn't entered the grades yet so they would not be in the parent thing yet. This is the same teacher that I talked to at the beginning of the year who said she really appreciated the info and that she was making a note in her "grade book" about Jordan and that the fist time she didn't turn something in I would be notified immediately.
Am I wrong for being so upset? I have asked and asked Jordan about homework and she always tells em that she doesn't have any except Math. I kinda believe that since most of her teachers said that the only way should would have homework in other classes was for a project or classwork that she didn't finish in class.
I am at a total loss of what to do. Jordan is seeing a counselor right now and that seems to be doing well but she has in the past 2 weeks had a HUGE downward spiral with everything.. I don't know what is going on because she wont' talk to me about anything.
It sounds very similar to the situation I had with ds last year. All the kids have a school issued assignment notebook and it is supposed to be the primary communication between parents and teachers. I'm supposed to check his homework and sign it and if there are any problems the teacher can write a note and so can I, etc. Ds's teacher told me she didn't like to check the notebooks since there were so many. That should have been a red flag since she didn't have any more students than anyone else. It was normal for ds to get his homework done in school so I believed him when he told me he didn't have any. For some reason his teacher thought that the day before report card day was a good time to tell me he was missing homework. I think a good bit of that was from when he was out for a week being sick and I had to practically hunt her down and beg for the homework and she told me not to worry about half the papers she almost gave me. She told me she would make a point to check his notebook but it was near the end of the year before I realized she wasn't.
I wish I would have said something but it seemed pointless near the end and his grades were atill a's and b's. I do regret it though.
I think you are perfectly right to be upset. I know I find it frustrating when there isn't good communication from the teacher. This year ds started 4th grade and his teacher is great about posting things on the website, etc. He is having some difficulty adjusting to the fact that although he is still as smart as ever the work takes more time and he has to pay closer attention.
Does Jordan have an IEP or 504? If so you can have the teacher communication plan written right into one of those and they teacher has to comply. She should anyway because you asked her to, but some teachers either just don't get it or they just don't care. If I were you I'd request a conference and if you're not satisfied with the results go to the principle. Shoot, Randy's in 8th grade and I get daily emails from his teacher team leader with what they did in class and what/if they have homework. Good luck and let us know the outcome. Oh, and hugs.
Jordan has a 504 and it already states that the teachers are supposed to be making sure that she writes everything down in it.
I am going to call the counselor today and talk to her about it. I asked for them making sure that she wrote in her planner that all the kids are required to have because that is what is in her 504. In fact that is the main thing in here except communication as soon as she doesn't turn something in.
I really think it is this teacher because she is the only one that Jordan doesn't write her assignments down for. Something is going on with this teacher. I am sure that the counselor will put a stop to it without the principal getting involved, she is really good at her job and all the teachers seem to really follow what she says. I have had to deal with a few teachers with things for Alexis.
I guess I just feel so helpless because Jordan is in middle school and they do things so differently that I don't know what to expect since Alexis doesn't have the same issues that Jordan does.
Thanks for the support.. I really need it right now.
Well Jordan had to call me again yesterday and tell me that she didn't do her math homework which she told me she was going to tutorials before school (I dropped her off early) to get help with the last 2 questions, which she didn't do. Well she lied to me and then told the teacher that she left it at home (untrue also).
I still haven't gotten in touch with the school counselor and I am really not sure what to do. Jordan is in trouble right now (grounded from everything) for lying to me not for the homework stuff yet. I am waiting to talk to the counselor and see what she thinks our next step should be.
On another note I am so angry with my DH (and that is not dear right now) that I have actually started thinking it might be easier to just not have to share parenting responsibilities with anyone. DH is not my kids real father and he has a really hard time understanding that the girls are different from other kids because they respond to different things. He wants me to make Jordan do homework all day/night until Jordan starts doing all of her own work and making the grades she should make because that is what his parents would have done. I personally think that will push Jordan over the edge and she is already refusing to talk to me about anything right now. I don't really want to do all this alone but he says and does things that put more stress on me and make me feel like he thinks he is a better judge of my kids than I am. We have been together since Jordan was in K.. she is now in 6th grade.
I am so lost right now and I don't know what to do at all. this is driving me crazy as if i wasn't already there. :P
{{{{{Tara}}}}} I totally understand. I also sometimes think it'd be easier to not share parenting responsibilities with dh, but he IS the kid's father and I don't have a lot of choice. Dh frequently pushes Robin WAY to hard (imho). When he pushes him over the edge \I'm the one that has to get him back. SO not fair to me!!! Homework was always a struggle with Robin. At his current school it's not an issue. When he switches to the regular high school in a few weeks that's one thing we'll be discussing at his IEP meeting. I will request no homework. I will not fight with him about it and I'll tell them that. With his dx's it's a reasonable request and they know it (or should).
Things will get better. Good luck with the counselor. More hugs.
Well my meeting with the school counselor is today at 3. I am still pretty emotional about all of this so I hope I can hold it together. I having problems with the same teacher and I am not exactly sure how to handle it.
I got an email from her yesterday afternoon to tell me that Jordan had a project due (major grade) today. Okay well this is the first I have heard of it so I knew that I had a LONG night ahead of me. She told me that the info has been on her website for a while. I told her yes it has but Jordan told me over and over that she had not assigned it or it was for another class. I guess that was my stupidity for believing her but there was also no due date or anything it just said project coming up. Needless to say when Jordan got home after her private Sax lesson at 5:20 (her school doesn't get out until 4). She had not even started on this project at all. So for the next 7+ hours we worked on it just stopping for 15 min to shove fast food in our faces. Had I known it was coming up we would have done it over the weekend not waited until the last second.
I am so sick of dealing with this stuff! Hopefully the counselor will have some ideas. I have been trying to make her grow up a little but it really doesn't work that way with Jordan. Consequences really don't matter to her. She is prefectly fine sitting in her room alone with no TV,cell phone, or ipod. I have even gone as far as to take everything but her bed out of her room and to make her wear the clothes I pick out for her every day.. why can't my dd be normal.. I just want a normal punishment to mean something to her, maybe even upset her..
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