I have a parent mtg in about 15 min. I have been up all night dreading this.....

By Happynerdmom on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 10:55 am:

Lots of luck, lots of ((((hugs)))). Hope things go smoothly for you.

By Cat on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 11:26 am:

{{{{{Laura}}}}} Let us know how it goes.

By Lauram on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 12:59 pm:

AAARGH. It got postponed until 2 because the principal was detained in another mtg. The teacher said (no joke), "I have to miss another special for THIS!" Great start.... It's about underachievement and not feeling comfortable sharing his ideas in front of his peers. THis has been the same issue all year. The teacher is VERY young and very immature. SHe is also on the defensive. It's really ugly. We'll see how it goes..... What a nightmare.

By Cat on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 01:02 pm:

Oh, Laura. I hope it goes well. More hugs...

By Kaye on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 02:06 pm:

UGH! I loved the parent meeting part of my job, I just alway felt if we could work together we could move mountains. So sorry his teacher doesn't have the same feelings!

My only suggestion is to have some concrete ideas, but say okay well this is our issue, your the professional, any idea how to help him, then lead her to your ideas...kind of like talking to my dh..lol

By Gammiejoan on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 05:21 pm:

Update us when you get the chance, Laura. I hope it went better than you thought it would.

By Feona on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 06:22 am:

Good luck! We are going to our meeting today... Yuck....

By Lauram on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:40 am:

It was cancelled again yesterday. The teacher continued to be immature. On the way home from school, he was complaining about other students (he's been doing this) and told me he wanted to be homeschooled. THen at dinner, he got in trouble for antagonizing his brother (he's doing this in school with his peers too-) I pointed it out and he cried and said he was stupid over and over (He's been doing this too). Then he said he wanted to kill himself.

I let the principal and psychologist know that I am unable to deal with the tecaher's immaturity. We need help. I called the outside psych for an emergency appt too. Still waiting to hear. He's seven years old, BTW.....

By Cat on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:21 am:

{{{{{Laura and Douglas}}}}} I hope you hear from the psych soon. I know how hard this is, I've btdt with Robin. What did the principal say about the teacher? I hate when teachers can't handle dealing with our kids, or even try. Robin's 4th grade teacher was like that. I really think he at least did try, but he was in so far over his head it wasn't even funny. We're here for you. Give Douglas a hug from me, and more for you, too. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

By Lauram on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:46 am:

Thanks, Cat. I haven't heard from the psych yet, and I think my mtg with the school is in about 10 min- I never got confirmation on that though. Douglas' teacher is way over her head. THe problem really is she thinks she's "all that." No one has the "answer" with these kids. Working with them is a very humbling experience. I do hope she gets her "hand slapped" though. She's acting like a spoiled brat.

By Lauram on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:48 am:

Kaye- I do have my two issues. 1) he is not willing to share his ideas/he feels different. 2) He has not been appropriately challenged all year. (He is a twice exceptional child and his teacher is convinced that they way to manage that is to "average" the abilities- NOT!)

By Kaye on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 11:00 am:

Geesh! I think my youngest will be defined as twice exceptional before it is all said and done. But he is not shy and just doesn't care what others think, he is 7 also.

So first she needs to find away to make him comfortable sharing his ideas. This doesn't have to mean to the class, but to her. Does he like to write. Can she reward him by turning in written ideas? If she would go out of the way to say , hey I just got the neatest story and read it, without saying his name, but giving him huge accolades for a job well done, wouldn't this help? If she presented his ideas for him with a positive voice and not calling him by name i bet he would be happier.

Second, not being challenged, this is always tougher. It is important to learn to do the menial tasks alongside everyone else, but I know all too well how those children act out and quickly! And it is tough to find challenging work without perceived punishment of more work. Does he go to a GT program, ours is 2 hour a week pull out, which really helps. Sounds like she really needs a conference on gifted children. My middle son, to be challenged in class, the teacher really tries to focus on his non gifted areas, so handwriting is his bad thing, so she really keeps his mind engaged by riding hard on the physical writing. Strange, but works, keeps his mind on, instead of wandering. He gets pulled out, plus he gets extra activities he can do if his work is finished. She lets all the kids do these, he is only 1 of about 3 who ever take advantage of them.

Keep us posted.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 12:03 pm:

I'm sorry that the teacher is so immature and not willing to work on this. I also am a teacher and I *hate* it when there are those teachers (and there are plenty!) that don't want to work with students who are having problems. They just want everything to go great with everybody to make life easier but I always felt like that was the most rewarding part of my job - to work on student issues with both parents and the student and see real improvements. I agree that the teacher needs to get some info about GT. Just wanted to reiterate that 'we're not all bad' Good luck!

By Lauram on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 12:19 pm:

It went well. It was very professional. I couldn't talk at the beginning, because I was too upset, so the principal summarized. I stuck to my guns about the two issues: 1) he feels different 2) he's not being challenged

They came up with an action plan:
1)Open circle was added- to address social issues like his obsession about people copying him
2)psychologist is going to change focus from impulsivity to celebrating his uniqueness in 1:1
3)they are going to help him label his controlling behaviors (OCD) and help him call it "Mr. Fix It" which is what we are helping him call his OCD at home (as a beginning step to being able to have Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
4) He is going to be given C exemplars unless he is having an unusally bad day (like today with the bags under his eyes)
5) He is going to continue his goal setting in reading- that is working out really well.
6) When he takes a test, he is going to be given alternative setting, or another adult will be in the room in case he needs to leave.

About the suicide threat: He met with the psychologist. She does not think he's going to kill himself (as do I). He did say, however, if he did he would drown himself in the swimming pool (I think he was thinking about this at his swimming lesson last night). I was given papers about contacting a therapist- legally she had to do that. I'm still waiting to hear about an outside appointment.

I did learn that during the OLSAT (he took that last week), he did need to take an extra break. He was also quacking (ticcing). For some reason, that made me smile! That's Douglas. Basically, it was clear to them that he needs alternative setting so that he doesn't have to worry about all that stuff.

As far as GT pull-out- that will start next year.

By Kaye on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 01:49 pm:

My cousin's son tic is always barking during tests...LOL...makes for a fun day!

This sounds good, hopefully things will improve as the year goes on.

By Cat on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 02:23 pm:

Sounds like things went as well as they could, Laura. I know Robin freaks his teachers out sometimes with threats against himself. I've been dealing with that since he was six, so it doesn't shock me anymore. I've talked to his pdoc about it and neither of us thinks he'll kill himself, but we still watch him carefully. We did have a 16yo hang himself on a school playground (not my kid's schools) about a month ago. So the teachers do have to take threats seriously, but we know our kids better than they do. It's still hard to listen to. Anyway, I hope things get better for Douglas and for you.

By Lauram on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 02:26 pm:

We have an appt with the outside psychologist at 230 tomorrow. I have to leave work/school early.

Oh- BTW Deanna- I am a teacher too. I work at my oldest son's school!

By Vicki on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 02:29 pm:

I am asking this question out of ignorance, let me say this right off the bat. So please don't read anything into it because I really don't know!!

Are teachers even trained to handle kids with problems? Do they actually get training on specific learning disabilities and behavioral issues in college? When I went to school (a hundred years ago) there was a special class where "special" kids went. There were at least 2 teachers and a aide in that class. I am assuming they were specially trained for those kids. My dd is in 4th grade and there is no such class at her school and all the kids are in regular classes. There is a "special education" teacher at another elem school in our district, but the teacher and principal can only recommend they go there. The final choice is up to the parents. Is that the way it is all over?? Are teachers trained now to handle all types of children??

By Amecmom on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 06:25 pm:

In NY all teachers are required to have six (it may be more now) credits in Special Education in order to be certified.
Ame

By Feona on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 07:22 am:

I am thinking of getting john in a social group with a therapist too. Doubt I will find one. But I will keep my fingers crossed. I just don't know what is over therapy anymore....


I couldn't tell.. did the meeting go okay?
Sounds like they have developed some strategies. It takes so long to develop good strategies to help John, I wish a good teacher could stay with john for two years.... not the bad ones though...


What does this mean? (Just trying to learn, maybe it would help john)
going to be given C exemplars unless he is having an unusally bad day (like today with the bags under his eyes)

I like the positive spin on Mr Fix it. He would make a great engineer. His bridge wouldn't break like mine would. (I am fast and mistake ridden)


They are using "hey john you are doing a great job not crying" (before john starts crying) it works. I wonder if it would work for the "upset about the copying. He was crying when things didn't go the way he though they should. (perfectly) he is better now though...

By Lauram on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 08:36 am:

As far as teachers being trained- no one is trained to help Douglas! Not even me. He is an enigma. He's actually not a SPED kid- he has a 504. We have to have constant mtgs though because he is so complex and his needs are always changing. Right now, we are in this suicide threat protocol thing. I just got a letter documenting our mtg and I have to bring it to the therapist this afternoon.

The meeting went well- one and a half hours- very professional. I feel better- I guess about as good as I can feel in this situation.

C exemplars- sorry that's a jargon. It means that he is going to always be given the most challenging math word problems. His teacher hadn't been doing this- because she was worried he might have a melt down. He might- but that doens't mean he's not capable of doing it.

By Vicki on Sunday, March 20, 2005 - 08:03 pm:

Thanks for the explanations on the training. I really wondered about that!