My three and a half year old grandson is in a pre-k setting in the public school system. He attends for four hours three days a week. He is receiving speech therapy in the school setting and has made a great deal of progress in this regard since the beginning of the school year. He has other issues, however, which have us concerned. He is hyperactive and aggressive with other children and with teachers. His aggression is not improving despite the various behavioral techniques utilized by his family and the school personnel. He hits, shoves, and kicks other persons with little or no provocation. In fact most of the time he does not even appear angry when he is exhibiting the aggressive behavior. It almost appears to be his method of interacting with other persons. For example, the first thing he does when he sees his six year old brother in the afternoons is to rush over to him and begin slapping him in the chest or back. He is going to have a behavioral plan developed for him at school soon. We are hopeful that we can come up with a suitable plan for his behavior but are not feeling very optimistic because he thus far has responded so poorly to everything we've tried. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of aggression in a young child?

By Kaye on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 12:17 am:

I think you need to step back and not look at this as an aggression problem. It is inappropriate social behavior. He needs to be taught how to act in those situations. My son has some of these issues. To teach him, we repeat verbally how he is to act. We show him how he is to act. We have to do it one behavior at a time. I think my son gets so overstimulated by changes sometimes he just forgets how to behave. Right now our issue is pinching a little girl. He has stated that he doesn't like her and she bugs him, but we can't seem to get him to stop pinching and to use his words instead. But in general the theory is point it out and then equip them with the right behavior. Take him hand over hand if you need to. Work on brother gettting home, this is how we say hi. Say hi to your brother. Have brother walk in and out of the door several times. Praise praise praise.

By Elizabeth704 on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 06:09 pm:

Hey Joan,
As we have discussed before, my son has Sensory Integration D/O. We actually got this diagnosis after starting 3 yo preschool. It was a disaster, much in the way you describe. In the 2 yo class, he was the "biter", but once he started the 3 yo class, he was aggressive to the newer kids in the class by hiting, etc. He actually became aggressive with the teachers when they tried to correct him. When he was not aggressive, he was disruptive to the class, often because they were constantly discipling him. The used all of the tricks on discipline: time out, stop sign with names hanging, etc. We actually had her call me one day (pre-planned) to come pick him up early after an incident. While very upsetting to him, nothing stopped his behavior.
We actually took him out of the school after 6 days. The relationship with the teacher had QUICKLY deteriorated. I picked him up each day with a list of what all he did wrong. He and I both cried each day. I felt like it was all so personal to my parenting style.
I took him out and we attend OT weekly. We restarted a different preschool 6 months later. Ever since, things have been nearly perfect.
Looking back, I realize 2 issues:
1) My son was also in a 4 hour/3 day week program. The new school was 3 hours/day. I think it was too long of a day for him to keep it all together. Alot of days, the worst things happened towards the end of the day. The old school was also very tightly structured (which I thought he needed). The new school is structured but also in a very calm, nurturing way.
2) I think it takes a special kind of teacher/person to understand and deal with sensory issues. When we came out of the previous school, my son had huge confidence issues. It became a toxic place for him. The OT believes he would frequently misbehave or be aggressive to get out of the activities he thought were hard. I now am a true believer in chemistry with the teacher. He now feels very accepted and loved, and in return is very respectful to them and very successful.

By Gammiejoan on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 06:44 pm:

Elizabeth, this child is the younger brother of the six year old I mentioned to you on the other thread. The six year old boy was diagnosed about three years ago with sensory integration disorder, and I have wondered for a long time now if the younger child might also have it. The older child was a biter while the younger child is a hitter. I know what you mean by being presented every day with a list of everything he has done wrong and feeling as if other persons are questioning your parenting skills. This is a daily happening with us.